Need help fixing a friendship with my coworker!?

Question

I worked with a girl for over a year, and we became casual friends, but never spent time out of the office, save for work functions. 7 to eight months into it, after a coworker kept making suggestions, I developed a little crush on her. She probably got some inkling as to my change in behaviour, and when I left that particular workplace, I messaged her asking if it would be ok to go out sometime. She led me to believe that she was up for it, but eventually after a broken date, I realized it wasnt to happen and was fairly upset. Shortly after, she moved jobs to my new workplace! We again messaged each other back and forth but it seemed she was avoiding meeting me in person unless she had to. I did mention it to her but possibly it was too vague, and she just said she was busy and joked I was being paranoid! Now she seems to have forgotten about me because she knows it still bothers me and really all I wanted was a friend to have lunch with etc in the new office. How do I fix this?!

Thank you everyone for your suggestions - I will take them to heart. I work in a very big office and we're not likely to bump into one another very often - however, its hurtful that, even though we werent close, we've known each other for a while and at this point, I dont want to bring it up with her again. It hurts that she keeps in contact with a few others from our old workplace but not me - she knows that when meeting in person even I feel uncomfortable because I know she does, and I find it hard to talk....about anything! She no longer asks me if I going to company events, and even sidestepped me meeting her and her friends for lunch in our cafeteria. It seems that I have to initiate email conversation otherwise we wouldnt talk.....as many have suggested, it looks like I have to bite the bullet and accept that I have no friendship left with her, and I'll have to deal with it and find hotter girls and better friends to hang out with at work!!

Answer 1

I smell a rat, I've meet women who do this.
I may be jumping to conclusions, she might just be setting you up for trouble, some girls love to do that (angry girls, don't lie to yourselves). I have seen lawsuits, and most anything bad. Just remember, anything you do on a computer can be tracked.

Answer 2

Here is the icebreaker: Say to her in person.. "I have 2 important things to discuss with you. First, I need to end our personal relationship. Second, but equally important, I need to continue our professional relationship".

'She will reply either by placing blame, or offering a second chance'.

Just remember you only want the "professional relationship, on friendly terms".

If you don't maintain your plan, then your mind will keep you focused on an uneccessary problem and you will not be the BEST THAT YOU CAN BE in your position.

Age also plays a factor. Always remember that YOU could be HER boss one day and have full control. Or you could allow her to maintain the control.

My suggestion, if you are good and HAPPY at whatever your job is, I am sure there are other places that you could travel too. Some areas of the country pay more than others. But you may already know that.
GL

Answer 3

She may be afraid you will tension her with undesirable advances and interest, or that she would be maximum acceptable you on if she has lunch with you. i think of the ingredient to do could be to sparkling the air in case you are able to gain this in a tactful way. i could in simple terms tell her which you think of she is a superb guy or woman and you have been slightly disillusioned approximately being stood up, yet you're over it now and you in simple terms desire to be pals. Then back off and don't hardship her to any extent further, enable her ask you to lunch sometime if she needs.

Answer 4

i think you know the answer - you are trying to fix something that's not going to be fixed. i think this girl has told you in different ways that she hasn't the time or want to be with you. consider yourself lucky, that you found out now, before you invested a lot of time in her. don't chase her, not even, just to be friends, if she wanted you as a friend she would have kept in contact with you. if she does contact you, let her make all the choices of what she wants out of the friendship - you've already done enough and she wasn't appreciative.

Answer 5

ignore her it will drive her nutts i know from experiance i know you dont want to but if you resest thats the more she will want to talk to you belive me i would know just find a new friend an forget about her for a while dont talk to her message her or try to meet with her in person unless you have to an even then just act like you dont even really know her that well an go on about your bussness it will work try it an see

Answer 6

Well she probably is a little embarrassed and she doesn't have the guts to confront you so she is avoiding you. what you can do is be bold and just tell her out right that you would just like to be friends that's it , but tell her if she would prefer you continue to ignore eachother that you understand but you would prefer to just be friends .

Answer 7

She's playing games with you. Only have contact with her if it's work related. Other than that, give her the brush off.

Answer 8

why does it need fixing?

she sounds like she isnt worth your effort.

just leave her to be petty and make some new friends, then laugh at ehr when she falls over! lol only joking

Answer 9

if it were me, i'd leave her alone and only smile or say hi when near her, she may not feel comfortable with you because you maybe coming on to strong for her. yep, if it were me, i'd say hi and move on, because i doubt she really wants to go out with you, but continue to be nice, but do not get into her personal space................find someone else

Answer 10

It doesn't seem she is in anyway interested at this time .Go on to someone else