I have support of the court appointed kid's attorney(they are minors of course) as well as the court appointed psychologist. Everyone is concerned how can I balance a career and the kid's bests interests at the same time. I just see that I need to take them out of a bad situation and then work my hardest to keep them emotionally, financially and physically well off. My ex put her self in this situation. What else can I do except take care of my kids first?
2006-12-17 07:38:01 · 12 answers · asked by paco 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok, Dad. Kudos to you for hanging in there and caring about your children.
Don't let the naysayers get to you. Women work full time, go to school, raise kids and maintain the household all the time... and no one bats an eye. It's not easy but it happens every day.
Do ask social services about subsidized daycare if you have little ones who need care during or after school hours until you get off work. Do file for child support as it is retroactive to when you filed.
Do look into the after school programs for the kids who can stay after school. They offer Academic support from 3 to 4 and an activity until 6. This should ease the homework burden.
Do establish a routine of dinner, baths, and quiet time and then bed. Specify the hour that the day will end. Everyone needs to be ready for tomorrow and in bed at that hour.
Get your rest, see about incorporating a daily vitamin into your regimin, cut your self the breaks you can. (Use paper plates.)
Take account of what support you have. They go to Mom's every other weekend? Can family members run Suzie to soccer practice on Tuesdays? Know your resources. Use the school for support when you can. Apply for free lunches if you qualify.
You'll do fine. What counts is that you have them with you.
Somewhere, theres a woman who is just waiting for a man like you. That will happen too. Good luck and God bless you all.
Merry Christmas!!!
2006-12-17 07:54:49 · answer #1 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother is a single dad and he's fabulous. Time and again, I tell him how he's broke the mold. Just a wonderful father. And it is not easy! He has 3 companies and manages to make his daughter priority number one. Our father was a complete non existent dad. So, I don't buy the ol standby that we are a product of our environment. We are all capable, no matter what background, of making proper and comitted choices in our lives. I stand in awe of men that can and will do both out of the love and dedication to their children.
You're a great man. I agree with the others here. Not much more I can say, but God Bless you and your children....and I truly hope for the future welfare of the children that their mother gets her act together. If at all possible; children need the love and committment of both parents. If not, sweetheart you are one in a million.
Merry Christmas.
2006-12-17 08:04:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hope all is well for you and your children. Just becareful not to try to make this a pissing contest. These situations can be harmful/hurtful to all involved. I a case of divorce/custody nobody really wins. You have the right idea in mind to support yourself and your children, but be aware of public assistance that is available to you and them. I pray that you are a stand up guy and can show your children leadership,pride,honesty,faith,love all in good judgement. It will be hard and though you may not be living in a box for shelter you will still need help from others as much as you can for you and their sanity.
2006-12-17 08:11:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with "Dharma", I am a single father with sole custody of two girls and have had them for the last 6 years. I am not going to lie and say its been easy, but I have never given up on them like their mother did. Right now they are 15 & 17, and have been bugging me to go out and date and be happy. But I have rotating shifts, and most of my time is caught up in making my daughters are wel provided for. Some of my women co-workers are surprised that I have sole custody, and some of them are amazed and proud of me for doing what so little men want to do. But anyway, the children come first, and its a never ending job, but the rewards are priceless. Good Luck and God Bless. And never give up on your children, even if they are not with you.
2006-12-17 07:50:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a good dad and a man who has a good sense of what it means to really look out for your kids...do whatever you have to do to make sure they are not left in a bad situation....you must put your kids first and foremost and keep remembering that whatever hardship you must endure, you are doing it to make sure they grow up happy, healthy and well adjusted...that will be your reward! Just please don't poision their minds with tales about their mother....I'm sure no matter what she is done, they still love her and it's important to maintain that...they can dislike what she has done or is doing but she will always be their mother....I wish you and your children the best of luck....
2006-12-17 07:49:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I support you...I am in California and this criminal in here took my family away from me.. I had a craizy lady did whatever she wanted to do with me and the system supported her...Today my child lives overseas in a very poor situation. Everything I do for my child goes to her mother and the child never sees what I did.
It is a shame. all I can say, do whatever you should for the best interest of the child and not yours. Remember, all children needs their MOM not matter what... Don't take your child away from their Mom....never
2006-12-17 07:55:18 · answer #6 · answered by no ar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't do anything more than that. If your ex truly did this to herself, then she has no one to blame but herself. Besides, she is old enough to take care of herself, the kids are not. You are right. The kids come first. Protect them and take care of them to the best of your ability and the rest will take care of itself.
2006-12-17 08:01:39 · answer #7 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a parent, you can do it. It really does not matter if it is the father or the mother who cares for the children. Either is quite capable. It is just a matter of doing it. Good luck to you and God bless you ****
2006-12-17 07:43:50 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do it , I really respect a man who stepts up for His kids. There are many single parent support groups that could help. Best Wishes and Happy Holidays.
2006-12-17 07:59:48 · answer #9 · answered by Janice 10 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Paco you a good man and father. Your heart has brought you this far just don't forget the plan. The kids come first.
2006-12-17 07:45:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋