I like this guy who is just a friend right now, but I'm interested and so is he. But he doesn't ever want to marry, so he said when we were talking about marriage as a general topic. His parents were divorced and I guess he had some bad relationships. If a man tells you he's not into the idea of ever settling dowm, but he's drop dead gorgeous and checks you out every minute, what should you do? I have a feeling he's very commited otherwise.
2006-12-17 07:36:31 · 24 answers · asked by crazyloonynice 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's not a player but on the other hand you have to think for yourself. He's honest which makes him not a player but then he's not planning on tying the knot is another way of making clear that he's not planning on commiting to you. He's drop dead gorgeous but it's only temporary tills he find another girl. Stand up for yourself and leave him...
2006-12-17 07:42:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, most men hate it when women bring up the subject of marriage. Some women are so in love with the idea of marriage, that they forget a guy is a person with feelings and opinions too. If you brought the subject up in conversation, he might have said that to get you to back off. Men like to do the chasing and asking. He was probably telling you the truth, but that does not mean his opinion cannot change in the future if he meets Mrs. Right, nor does it necessarily mean that he is a player. Obviously, this is a man that does not want to be chased. If he is drop-dead gorgeous, back off and let him chase you, be different than all the other women. This will make him feel like a man and want to be around you.
2006-12-17 08:04:00 · answer #2 · answered by Orion777 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So...that's your sum of all his parts? Drop dead gorgeous, and interested in you? These are your sole requirements to be married to another person for the rest of your life?? Because, honey...he won't be drop-dead gorgeous forever, and DON'T fool yourself into thinking you will be either...and then there goes your second requirement: his interest in you. If you base a marriage on sexual interest, convenience or the here-and-now, don't be surprised when it ends...because the things you are talking about change with time and life experiene.
If you ever want to be something more than a booty call for this guy, you'd better start digging deeper; deeper into his life, and deeper into your own. Okay, sexual interest: check. You've got the physical chemistry thing down, no problem. Now it's the rest of him you need to figure out whether you're attracted to or not. Don't even worry about marriage. You're just getting to know another person, one human being to another. Marriage should not even be thought of at this point. The fact that he's not interested in being married should actually be a very GOOD indication to you that it is something he cares a great deal about. He doesn't want to devote his entire life to someone who expects so little of a marriage, of herself, or of him. He wants a life partner (eventually) and a true friend who will kick him in the a** if he doesn't respect her, himself or their relationship. But right now, trying to convince him that you're the answer to his distaste for marriage is a bad idea. This is not about you; it's about him. It's something that he needs to deal with. If you want to be in his life at this time, be his friend, and maybe a playmate, then you need to accept that this is where his life is at right now. He doesn't need you to "fix" him. Will there be other girlfriends? Possibly. He's being up-front and honest with you (a sign of respect). At this point the most you can be for him, beyond a fun playmate, is his friend. If you can't handle it, and you will be jealous of his sexual attention being divided amongst other women, then walk away right now. If you can see the man beyond the sex, you might be onto something. Good luck.
2006-12-17 07:59:13 · answer #3 · answered by intuition897 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, you have to make a choice either to stay with a man who have hung ups on marriage since his parents were divorced and don't force him to go down the aisle or find a man who does not have those fears...
He's probably feels like that due to what happened to his parents and seeing so many people getting divorced....There is a possibility that he will come around...
If you love him, a ring should not be your first priority...You do more fighting to stay in a marriage than you do as just dating...Don't rush as it is hard work and constant communication....
2006-12-17 10:42:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want to get married, not everyone on this planet does. If you want a relationship with this guy you'd better go in with your eyes wide open and BELEIVE him. Do NOT expect that you're going to change his mind and then when you don't get pissed because you gave him so many years and he didn't "Pop the question". If you don't want his type of relationship then do not get involved with him. At least he has the honesty to be up front and truthful about what he wants...no he is not a Player, players are NEVER truthful or honest about anything.
2006-12-17 07:43:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, there's chemistry. He defines settling down as marriage. He does not want to and you probably feel different. He is conflicted with this because of his growing feeling that he has for you. "Checking you out every minute" is not passive interest. If you guys connect, don't discuss marriage. See where your relationship goes. Down the line, he may warm up to marriage due to the prospect of who it is.
2006-12-17 09:38:38 · answer #6 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't have to be a player. Maybe he just doesn't want the committment of marriage. People can love one another and not marry. People can have children together and not marry. All relationships are not on the road to marriage. So if he doesn't want to marry does that mean you will stop seeing him? I doubt it. Enjoy the relationship and if you absolutely must marry, move on.
2006-12-17 07:43:21 · answer #7 · answered by shoes_717 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
having a issue with marriage doesnt mean he is a player in other words he can date you forever and just not want to get married but if he is saying he wants you for now and wants to see what else is out there then yeah he is a player just cause he says that now doesnt mean he will always feel that way my best advice is if you want him enjoy him at least he was upfront and honest before you put in 5 years only to have him say i dont ever want to get married you already know what he does and doesnt want its up to you to decide if you still want to invest in a relationship where there is a chance he will just be your boyfriend.
2006-12-17 07:41:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Exactly as the previous reply said, how can you take such guy or anything he says seriously? Those who play online games till 3 a.m. loose touch with reality, then they marry Avatars and take them on a honey moon. You Can't compete with Avatars. Get real life with a real man.
2016-05-23 02:28:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be married and is lying. If you want marriage one day he said he did not you can't change him so go on with your life. He could look good but not god for you are you looking for a booty call that's your man. If you want a man to find you then you must have a different attitude toward friendship.Go with your feelings
2006-12-17 07:50:31 · answer #10 · answered by tellthetruth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋