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In the area of affection and emotional shoulders what do you give your wife? Tell me how you treat your wife when you're alone, not sexually please. Tell me how much time you would spend with her if you could choose. Tell me how much she means to you and then tell me how you express it. Tell me what makes your marriage special to you. Tell me why you would never want another woman. I don't want to hear from boyfriends. Husbands only please. I need to know that there are men out there that truly know what love is after the ring is on the finger. I prefer not to hear short answers.

2006-12-17 06:46:24 · 14 answers · asked by rowster 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

Thanks so much for everyone's stupid comments. I'm asking so that I know if it's worth marrying again. I think you have all answered that for me. The world is a boiling pot, some you'd like to boil.

2006-12-17 06:59:39 · update #1

The door swings both ways. Are we all just marrying the wrong people? My interpretation of a relationship isn'ty about money or status. It's about how you treat one another with respect. How you show affection or let the person have a shoulder to cry on. I always believed that you should marry your best friend. You should be there for that person above and beyond any other.

2006-12-17 07:06:32 · update #2

14 answers

You should've had this all figured out before you even married this guy.

Good luck with that!

:)

2006-12-17 06:48:23 · answer #1 · answered by Boodie 5 · 2 2

Husbands and wives need time apart. I've said before in an answer, and I stand by it, once the wedding day passes, that's when the it begins. What is important is how you grow as a couple together as well as apart. And probably growing as a couple apart is even more important. Depending upon your spouse's behaviour to make you happy in your marriage is no marriage at all. We are individuals, we have different realities, ie: he's not spending enough time with me vs I am working really hard so my wife and I can build a life together, this is why communication is important. I want to know what my husband's side of the story is. It may give me perspective on the situation. I may still feel the way I feel, and have a right to that feeling. However, I have investigated further to see that there is another perspective to the situation, my husbands! We have different opinions, thoughts and feelings. These need to be respected if a marriage is going to work.

2006-12-17 15:04:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3 0

My husband and I go around on this issue all the time. We've realized that we love each other deeply but that I need him emotionally a lot more (and more often) than he does me. It's pretty naturally that way with most couples. We're both there for each other emotionally.

But there are times when emotions and stress are intense and I just need him -- no questions asked. So he's there - some times grudgingly but there nonetheless. It's not always enough because some times it will never be enough for me. So we compromise. He tries to calm me down or ease my anxiety or need for affection... and then take some time for himself....and that's what marriage and love is all about.

2006-12-17 15:04:39 · answer #3 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 1 1

Expect and everything till or unless it becomes and real and you have to get real. Fantasy doesn't have to real.

From my point of view I give her a lot, a whole lot. I feed her, listen to her problems or whats on her mind, if she wants solutions , i try to make em, if not I just listen, I hold her at night.

She means a lot to me still. Personal things, we go back 20 years, a long long time for a 43 year old. I mostly express it by actions, I drive her to work in the am and cook meals and kiss her in the morning on the lips.

Mostly not comfortable sharing more than that.

2006-12-17 14:56:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

in the area of affectiona nd emotional shoulders my husband is completely absent. he likes to think that he isn't, but his needs emotionally, and mine, are very different, and i think beyond him to recognize how he could better understand me. when we are alone we watch t.v. or fight... we have 3 children so dont' have a ton of time to be alone, which is a good things i guess. i think i mean "a lot" to him in some ways, but i also think that he takes me for granted 110% and maybe i do for him as well, but more than that, i just wonder why he can't understand me like it seems that he used to. we had a different life when we were "dating".... somehow we didn't forsee that when we got married things would be soooo drastically different.
i think men do not kno what love is after the ring is on the finger... mating and finding a mate is nature, after that they revert to caveman days.

2006-12-17 16:01:49 · answer #5 · answered by don't be rude. 3 · 0 1

i tell u my experience i never expect a thing from mine we have been married for 27years and to be honest hes pretty good all the way around except hes really not there when i really truly needed him just this year i had open heart surgery and my mother who is 74 yrs old was there every sec to help and my husband hung out with his friends 4 months b4 that i had a hysterectomy because i had cancer of my uterus and again yep my mom took care of me actually i have to go to my mothers house an hour and a half away from where me and my husband live im not saying he doesnt love me he is just not there when i need him so that's my life

2006-12-17 15:08:32 · answer #6 · answered by shabo 4 · 1 1

You asked for answers from husbands only, and so I apologize. I am a wife, but seeing as how my husband doesn't do the "message board thing", nor does he place as much value on words as he does on actions, I'd like to answer for him.

Perhaps it speaks more highly of him that he doesn't have to say it himself, but it's a testament to him by his wife.

My husband has given me more than I deserve. The words I'll use are probably over-used, cliche, and cheesy, but I guess that they'll have to do because there are no other words that say it. I took my husband for granted for 9 years of our marriage. I wasted 9 years of our life together by focusing on myself, my needs and what I was not getting out of marriage...or life in general. I had a severe case of spoiled princess syndrome. To make a long story short, my attitude and actions (or perhaps INactions) hurt my husband. He confronted me and let me know that I was not good for him. It was true. I was a poisonous person to be around, and a detriment to his life. But he said he still loved me, God help him, and even though he knew he should let me go, he still wanted to be with me. He asked that I please understand the price he was paying to stay with me - a measure of his self-respect, in fact - and that it was no small thing. He's a man for whom integrity and self-respect are central to his being. Yet he chose to kill off a piece of that...for me, as undeserving as I am.

This has affected me in profound ways. He gave me a part of himself that he values most, knowing full well that I could hurt him. He only asked that I don't. The kind of trust a person - man or woman - shows in this kind of surrender to another is, in a word, humbling. It really drives home how great a responsibility it is to have a husband or wife, and how unworthy we each are to be blessed with this other person, handing you their heart on a silver platter.

My husband means everything to me. This trust between us is a bond that goes beyond the physical, beyond even the emotional. It is a holy thing that is perfect as God intended it to be between two human souls. It is untouchable by anything outside of ourselves. It can only be broken from the inside out. This is what makes our marriage work. In the words of Yoda, "There is no try." We don't have to 'try' to make this work, although we do have to work at getting along at times. But there is one thing we have agreed is written in the stone foundation of our marriage: unconditional love and forgiveness. When a child makes a mistake, do you tell him to leave your house and never come back? Do you take it personally when he has a lapse in judgment? Or do you see it as an opportunity to demonstrate that you still love him just the same, and emphasize that he needs to expect more from himself? This is our gift to one another. It's a love where the priority is not the hurt that we experience at their hands, but the hurt that THEY experience by harming us. We put one another's happiness above our own.

This is a very difficult thing to explain.

2006-12-17 15:31:33 · answer #7 · answered by intuition897 4 · 3 0

I follow the buddhist philosophy of "expect nothing". That way when you get nothing you won't be disappointed. Seriously, though, men aren't very attentive towards wives after the romance phase is over. You can pretty much forget getting any. If you feel things are going south leave.

2006-12-17 15:02:23 · answer #8 · answered by crazyloonynice 2 · 1 1

I read all the answers you got and I don't know that anyone really "got" what you wanted. Especially the men. What a shame - it was a good question. The type man that you are looking to answer this probably isn't on Yahoo. lol
Take care!

2006-12-17 15:12:52 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 1 1

A husband's words here mean nothing. What matters is their wife's opinion! What you're experiencing "after the ring is on the finger" is how it is. It's called 'life'...mother, wife, life, mother....
That's about how the circle goes. Only the face changes.

2006-12-17 14:53:43 · answer #10 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1 2

this is to much to answer for only 2 point.one answer for 2 point
as far your first question.you should give your wife attention that a sign of affection and that lead to emotional women like attention
but dont over do it only when you think they need it OK.

2006-12-17 15:05:31 · answer #11 · answered by little_bear 3 · 1 1

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