why is it that woman usually end up with the children after a split?

Question

children need fathers to why do people asume that woman are the better parent

Answer 1

generally....they are...but not always...mothers are usually more nuturing and provide the most care for the child...but there are many instances where the Dad is in that role and is much better at it then the mother for whatever reason....it depends on the people vs whether it is the mom or the dad...

Answer 2

Each case is different and there isn't any reason based solely on gender - no matter what you hear in the pub or read in papers - for a woman to have custody rather than the father. It is the person who shows the most concern for them.
I think maybe men convince themselves of this negativity, such as your question, and instead of going to court and doing the research, they give up and don't try.
The child usually goes with the parent who is best able to look after them.
You see, just posting a question like that will stir up loads of negative responses that only serve to perpetuate unrealistic beliefs. In the end, it is easy to forget that it isn't a competition. If there are children, it is about who can take care of them.
I know of a situation where the children where given the choice of where they wanted to go and the father laid a guilt trip on one of the children. The child went with the father and ended up alone most nights because the father couldn't look after the child.
Is the motivation to have the child for love and concern or to "win"? I think in this case, the father was more concerned with winning.

Answer 3

The laws do need to change. Parents need to see the kids 50/50. There needs to be limits on how far from the kid's residence the absent parent can go.

My ex dropped all three kids the first year he was gone. At the end of that year he moved out of town, even though he kept the job he had had when we lived as a family unit.

He had chores listed for the girls when he did finally take them (his backed-up housework) so they didn't like going, and eventually quit, and he hasn't had them in over 4 years. He sees my son every other weekend for 24 hours with no contact in between.

If you ask me, it's a crock. If it had been stipulated in the divorce that each parent has the kids for an amount of time that equals, for the most part, 6 months, I think he would not have been so quick to abandon them they way he did. My daughter, who is now 19, still shakes with hurt and fury when the subject comes up....8 years later.

Answer 4

I might get some flak for this but here it goes. "Where does it say that only because a woman carried a baby for nine months, "automatically" makes her the better parent"?? I actually said that in a court of law, in front of a woman judge and my woman lawyer. I was able to "prove" that I was the better parent, I could provide a better quality of life for my chiildren, have done and could still do all the chores involving child raising. I am proud to say I got sole custody of my two daughters and we have been together for the last 6 years. Yes for the most part the woman is the better parent, but in some cases, the father is.

Answer 5

The question really should be who will provide the most stable and nurturing home for the children and who has been the person doing most of that work so far? It is usually the woman who takes this role and most men prefer to go to work rather than be at home. I work f/t and I get the kids ready, drop them, go to work, pick them up and make their dinner. Husband comes in when dinner is on the table! Not moaning but really who is really looking after them when they are at home? This is true with all my women friends and work colleagues. Men find it harder to come with carrying out various tasks at at the same time which makes it harder for them to look after the kids and keep a job. I think if a woman is not able and capable of looking after kids then she should not and I think the courts and social services have a role to play in making these decisions.

Answer 6

Times are changing. I have a 15yr old daughter that has been raised by her father since she was 2.
And that was 13yrs ago!! Her father was more prepared to settle down than I was at the time, he was awarded Primary Custody.
My last ex and I have two boys, he threatened to take me to court for Primary Custody.
I told him go ahead and waste his money trying, as I am a good m other, nurturing, and have taken good care of my boys. He knew there was no way to prove me as an unfit mother and also knew that I could take them from HIM. So he agreed to a 50/50 split.
Yes, I would have gotten them, but I didn't get my daughter.

Answer 7

cause most men have full time jobs which doesn't suit the hours needed to that care of a child. However more and more men are getting the children as they are willing to give up the job, and I'm glad this is happening. As children need both parents equally. Both women and men are equal when it comes to caring for their children but most fathers don't want to fight to have their children full-time which is a shame.

Answer 8

as a mother off 6 i wold not like to lose my kids but i do think that fathers do have the right tohave thier kids as well as the mother i dont think there is a better parent as long as you both love your children and show each other respecyou should both have the right to share them but 9times out off 10 the mother gets the kids and the father gets a look in now and then very wrong i know

Answer 9

I don't think they think a mother is always the better parent. I think it's just that she was the one that carried the child for 9 months, went through all the morning sickness and body changes and then after all that, went through the agony of child birth. I think a woman deserves to have the children after all that don't you?

Answer 10

Well a mother is someone that cant be replaced you usually see more cases where the father doesnt want to take care of the children so the mother is the best choice they have.

Answer 11

I think its because woman want to be spitefull and still want to have controll of they're men even after the split, so the usally want the children as a means to do just that. I'm a woman, but i know my hubby's ex and that's probably the only reason i can think off now.