has any mother lost a child to SIDS?

Question

and what kind of advice can you give me to help me cope and what are the chances it will happen to my next child ?

Answer 1

I lost my first born daughter to SIDS when she was 5 month old. Everyone has to cope in their own way I guess. I was one week from starting college when it happened and had considered not starting until I realized the hardest time of day for me was the mornings. Getting up, because your already used to doing it, and then there being no baby to take care of is hard. I had morning classes so I thought that would be a good way to keep me busy. I knew right away my life was either going one of two direction, in a good place or in a bad place (drugs and alcohol) but it was never going to be the same. I decided to make my life count for something for my daughter's sake since I decided to go back to school for her. I did and was on the Dean's List every quarter. Two weeks after my daughter died I found out I was pregnant again so that was just another reason to take care of myself and keep my life on track. I asked the doctor in the hospital when my daughter died if I should be concerned about SIDS with any subsequent children and he said no it is not likely to happen twice in the same family, it is not hereditary. I now have a 2 year old girl, almost 3, and an 11 month old boy. I joined a SIDS group on Yahoo called sidsfamilies after my daughter died and that helped a lot. I also did a lot of research to answer a lot of questions I had. My daughter was on her back, no blankets, we didn't smoke around her, etc. In other words we followed all the advice we were given and it still happened. After joining the group I found out that most babies were on their backs, sides, in car seats, etc. This made me feel better but at the same time very enraged at the fact everyone preaches the back to sleep and all the other advice to people like it will guarantee their babies life when in reality nothing will guarantee your baby will not die of SIDS because they don't know what causes it. Sleep positioning has nothing to do with why a baby stops breathing. Suffocation is no longer considered SIDS like it used to be. When you do have another child it will be hard at first, and I can tell you this but you will have to find out for youself, it will be hard but you will realize there is nothing you can do and you just need to enjoy your baby and not waste any precious time sitting up all night and not getting any sleep because you are scared or shake your baby every two second to see if it is still breathing. I did that to my poor daughter for months, the poor thing would finally fall asleep and then there I was nudging her and poking at her to see if she was okay. That is no way for you or your baby to live. I did it for the first 3 months with my subsequent baby and then realized I was wasting those valuable baby moments by doing this. Good luck and join some groups it really does help. People that have not experienced are so hard to talk to because they just don't understand. Having no cause of death is so hard to deal with on top of everything else you have to go through.

Answer 2

i have never had this happen to me, im sorry to hear about your loss. I do have a good friend who lost her 2 month old son to SIDS. she has two healthy girls, and finally got the boy they prayed for, only to have him taken away so soon. Theres really nothing i can say because i dont know what its like. She still after 6 months grieves and cries over this. I would say its natural to have such strong emotions when it comes to losing a child. Take your time and surround yourself with support. Join a support group in your area if you have one. Talk about it, no matter how much it hurts too. And it has nothing to do with having other children. No one knows for sure what causes SIDS and your risk of it happening again are just as slim as everyone elses.

Answer 3

I never lost my child to see, but i lost him to pneumonia. He was born 1 month early was very sick stayed in hospital for 5 months was home a week and died. I always feel scared about SIDS. Especially with my two and a half yr old daughter. loosing one child is enough but to loose another would be a tragedy.

Answer 4

The best advice I can give you is to pray about it. I'm very sorry for your loss. I have a 3 month old and I simply wouldn't know what to do if I lost him to SIDS, except for prayer. You will certainly be in my thoughts and prayers! Keep your chin up!

Millie

Answer 5

It happened to my aunt before I was born, her first-born child. She went on to have a second child that is still alive today. Its just a horrible thing that sometimes happens. Out of her siblings and all their kids, it only happened to her. I was scared for my kids during babyhood, but they all were ok. Please don't let this keep you from more children!

Answer 6

im sorry for your lost just do anything you can to keep this from happening and pray pray a lot because unfortunatly theres not much else you can do