1. Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night.
2. There are very few moments in life as good as this.
3. You have muddled everything from the start.
4. Keep drinking, and you'll have a worse morning.
5. You have a point. An idiotic one, but a point.
6. Hee Haw and Merry Christmas.
2006-12-17 06:10:00 · 3 answers · asked by I am Sunshine 6 in Education & Reference ➔ Words & Wordplay
For a winters' day, Paddy thought it a strange request. Five Americans wanting to go see the Lakes of Killarney at this time of year, and this time of night and it threatening to snow. 'Well' thought Paddy out loud 'if it's the lakes you want, 'tis the lakes ye'll get. Fasten your seatbelts, ladies and gentlemen. It's going to be a bumpy night'.
Off the Jaunting-car sped with the old grey mare rearing to go. Paddy had been having a fine session in Murphy's Pub and had listened to some lovely old Irish songs. At the time he had thought that there are very few moments in life as good as this.
However, there were things to do and he better be careful. If he got into trouble with the Gardi, he might lose his licence and then what would he do. He had it suspended a year or two back, or was it three, he thought to himself, yes, maybe three. No wait, he thought further, it was more likely five. 'Ah to hell with it' he said out loud when he thought about what Mary, his long suffering wife had said at the time 'You have muddled everything from the start' she had said 'you even went to the wrong bloody church'.
He was beginning to get the first traces of the dreaded hangover. 'It must have been that last pint of porter in Murphy's' he thought to himself, then he remembered his old Father's words, Lord Rest his Soul. He had said 'When you have a hangover, keep drinking, and you'll have a worse morning case of them but at least it will be a day or two later'.
'Now are yez sure yez want to go all the way up to the top' Paddy asked of his swanky customers 'sure 'twill be too bloody dark when we get there'. 'You have a point' answered the older Yank when the younger one butted in. 'An idiotic one, but a point' he said with a smirk on his face.
'He gave me the evil eye' Paddy said to himself 'I'll show the little gobshite'. With that he took up the whip and gave the old horse a couple of hard cracks on the ar*se. Away she went like a bolt of lightening. As she raced at a great speed towards the top of the hill with the customers failing to hold on after the first quarter of a mile, Paddy watched with delight as they flew either side of the road onto the boggy grass verge., Paddy was heard to shout back over his shoulder 'Hee, Haw and Merry Christmas - bloody Yanks - you can stuff your dollars up your ar*ses, 'tis back to Murphy's Bar for me'............................
(Happy Christmas Sunshine - have a wonderful one and a great and peaceful New Year - God bless)................
2006-12-17 06:35:25 · answer #1 · answered by thomasrobinsonantonio 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dan walked in to his apartment, swaying heavily from side to side. He was drunk. He had tried to drink his sorrows away. Just that day he'd sent a letter to the police explaining the big theft that he and three buddies had just pulled off. He couldn't live life on the run, and they should've known that before dragging him into this. The light wouldn't come on when he flicked the switch. "Aw, could today get any worse?" "Keep drinking," a voice said from the dark, "and you'll have a worse morning." Another voice laughed. "Ha! What morning?" The first voice snickered. "You have a point. An idiotic one, but a point." "Oh no!" Dan gasped. "Yeah, Dan. You decided to squeal on us, huh? Well, you have muddled everything from the start!" "Don't shoot!" Dan yelled, seeing the gun and its silencer for the first time. "There are very few moments in life as good as this. Revenge is so very sweet. Goodbye Dan. Hee Haw and Merry Christmas." Dan groaned and fell to the floor as he was killed. The two that killed him ran outside to where a getaway car was waiting. "Fasten your seatbelts," the driver said. "It's going to be a bumpy night." The three sped off into the night, their stolen money in the trunk and their one big problem eliminated.
2006-12-17 06:59:11 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Ettejin of Wern 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As the killer and the comedian faced each other in the interrogation room, the police Lt. turn on the mike and moved closer to the one way mirror. The L.T. turned to her detectives and said, in her best Bette Davis Voice, "Fasten your seat belts. It's going to be a bumpy night." Detective Fastbinder replied, "there are very few moments in life as good as this".
The Killer screamed at the comic, "You have muddled everything from the start!" The Comedian pulled a flask of vodka from his jacket pocket and took a swig. The Killer yelled louder, "Keep drinking, and you'll have a worse morning." Calmly the comic responded, "You have a point. An idiotic one, but a point."
Detective Fastbinder turned to the LT and said, "Do you know which one did it yet?" "No," said the lieutenant, "But once I show them this, I will." She unfolded a picture of Jimmy Stewart from "It's a Wonderful life". On the photo, written in lipstick was, "Hew Haw and Merry Christmas." The Loo opened the door to the interrogation room and walked in.
2006-12-17 06:27:45 · answer #3 · answered by Rico Toasterman JPA 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋