My husband is the "absent-minded professor." If I don't deal with all things all the time, chaos reigns. Even when I'm exhausted, sick, extremely busy, I must take care of it, whatever "it" is. How do I keep from feeling angry and resentful sometimes? My husband doesn't even realize or appreciate, most of what I do.
2006-12-17 05:49:12 · 4 answers · asked by ragged 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I do appreciate your thoughts answers. Jhasa, even though you are certainly sincere, your psych-trendy answer makes me smile. It's akin to "childraising experts" who have no children of their own. Great disparities of common sense and ordinary judgement, do exist between two people and are often NOT related to one "creating dependence" in the other.
2006-12-17 08:53:30 · update #1
I meant "appreciate your thoughtful answers." Fatigued today....
2006-12-17 08:54:20 · update #2
Welcome to my World!!! lol Talk to your husband. Let him know you need a helping hand. It takes two so he needs to be more responsible. Try making a honey do list. Sometimes it works. Just tell him your tired of carrying the full load and you need a break. Why cant he help around the house? You wont be able to get over feeling resentful or angry if he doesnt start appreciating the things you do. Why not let him do his own laundry once in awhile?
2006-12-17 06:05:20 · answer #1 · answered by autumn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems you have made your husband quite dependent on you. May be you are his major source of strength for whatever he does. Nobody likes to see himself losing the position of strength. Thats the reason perhaps he cannot accept a position when you are not able to do certain things for him or take care of his needs. Chaos reigns as because he is conditioned to have high expectations from you and he cannot tolerate anything falling short of that. You will not feel angry once you experience and believe that he is growing through you. Within a type of "absent minded professor" , as you are mentioning, you can always find a 'child' very often asserting his right seeking your care and attention. I think, you have reasons to be proud of it and such a pride of a concerned wife may take away your fatigue, anger or resentment. Got it right ?
2006-12-17 06:30:21 · answer #2 · answered by jhasa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well....I'm sorry to say that it probably will never change dramatically...I'm sure you could condition him to do little things that he doesn't do now...but for the most part, what you see is what you get...I am sure that this didn't just happen...so why did you marry him? Did you think he would change once you were married or did you just not realize this about him?? Decide whether you love him enough to deal with this or not.....but if decide to stay, figure out a way to make peace with it otherwise you will always be angry and it will come between you.... Wish there was something better to say but I'm afraid not...good luck
2006-12-17 06:04:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I HUBBY DO THE SAME WITH MY SPOUSE,AND I APPRECIATE HER AND LOVE HER TO MUCH.
2006-12-17 06:04:37 · answer #4 · answered by james s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋