Recently my best friend lost her brother to sucicide. Her parents are no longer together and she is always going from one house or the other, with no time for her self. I have been with her this whole time and been her support while she has been there for both of her parents. Even though her parents are greaving, and i am not saying that is selfish in anyway, but i dont think that she will ever get over her brothers death if she doesnt find time to greve herself. She is so bussy taking care of them that i have seen her cry or get emitional very few times, I am worried about her and not sure how to tell her that it is ok to be sad and that i am there for her. I honestly think that i have greved more than her, yet not infront of her to make her feel as if she needs to be strong for me. So got any advice for me????
2006-12-17 05:39:10 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
That's a tough one....have you spoken to her just like you wrote this? Maybe you should try....and just be a great friend like it sounds like you are...I wish you both the best......
2006-12-17 05:43:14 · answer #1 · answered by justmedrt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone deals with death different and at different timings!
Just be there for her; it could even be 1 or 2 years from now when it finally surfaces and she accepts it! She is probably numb and in shock to the facts right now!
She is trying to focus on others, then the pain she is feeling!
The best thing you can do is just be there when she needs you!
If she seems very distressed you could talk to her about seeing a counselor and some people go on anti-depressants for small periods of time after death!
2006-12-17 05:46:29 · answer #2 · answered by Lucky 7 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend obviously was and is greatly affected by the death of her brother. Has she ever mentioned him in any of your conversations? If not, she is trying to avoid talking about it. But you know what? The best way to get over something very sad especially death of a loved one is constantly mentioning that person in conversations. The more one turns her/his back on these sort of things, the more the person become unapproachable, irritable, moody and may turn to vices for release. The only release is to talk about it all the time. No one can get her brother back to life or replace him. But a 'live' someone could serve as one brother to her who could make her feel that her brother seem alive and present.
I lost my son. For years, I grieved. It did feel better when I got to talk about him a lot. But my grief turned history when I gave birth to another baby boy 15 years after.
2006-12-17 05:51:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her the same thing you just told us. you said it very well. It's OK to grieve and that you'll be there for her. Just don't try to force her into anything, she might be dealing with things in the best way she can. Everyone deals with it differently.
2006-12-17 05:56:14 · answer #4 · answered by Jim V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone handles grief differently. In time she will come to terms with her brothers loss. Just be there like you have been. Listen when she wants to talk. She's lucky to have a friend like you in her life.
2006-12-17 05:52:28 · answer #5 · answered by autumn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When My son died staying busy helped me... not a whole lot but it helped me stay semi strong. There is no right or wrong way to greive may be for her this is the only way she knows how to right now. Stay suportive to her and for her to help keep her stong she will cope with his passing when she is ready..... then she will need you more then ever .......
2006-12-17 05:47:19 · answer #6 · answered by savannah_smiles25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will grieve when it's right for her, just be there for her when it hits. Could be soon or years from now.
There are many phases of grief. She maybe hasn't cycled through them yet or maybe she's already been through them, out of sight.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grief
2006-12-17 05:43:30 · answer #7 · answered by misspearlnecklace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
having two brothers who have committed suicide myself, i will tell you that everyone grieves in their own way, there is no right or wrong way to grieve...she maybe cries when you are not around, she may not be ready to shed her tears yet but trust me, she is still grieving, she just grieves differently than you do
2006-12-17 05:45:26 · answer #8 · answered by Tek ~aka~Legs! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang out with her, not make-out.
Go to Block Buster or any video place, check out movies. Have her over to watch movies with you quietly.
2006-12-17 05:41:52 · answer #9 · answered by SweetBrunette 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋