My ex-husband and I had been together for 10years (8th grade sweet hearts) got married 2 years ago and in August this year asked me to leave cause he needed time and space. I find myself crying especially now with the holidays. We don't have any kids so i haven't seen him I've been trying to be strong but i miss him so bad. He really hurt my family and our friends. What i hear now is that he parties all the time. I could never be with him agian do I want to OMG yes but he laid to my face so bad and to everyone I never saw it coming no warning woke up one day said I don't think I'm in love with you anymore. I left he didn't care where I was living if I was eating he of course ran back to Mommys house I couldn't do that but I still want him back. He's dating a 18 year old right know that really hurt. I started Bartending school and next year by March I plan on getting my boobs done I lost a lot of wieght cause I went through depression. What to do should I call him ask to go to dinner?
2006-12-17 05:15:09 · 11 answers · asked by Roxygal 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've gone thru a very similiar situation.Just bite the bullet and move on,the pain will go away.Take it all as a lesson in life and make your future better thean your past.
2006-12-17 05:20:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Taprestry6. People change as they mature and are exposed to different things. If he had been with you since 8th grade - he has never had the chance to develop his own idenity and date other women, etc. He has just gotten to the point where he wants to do those things. He may still love you but he probably is not IN love with you, if you know what I mean. Be friendly with each other, be thankful there are no children involved, and move on with your life. Time heals broken hearts. Trying to change your appearance to get him back will not work, so don't have plastic surgery if that is your only reason. You have alot of years with this person so cherish them for what they were but don't dwell on the past and have pity parties every night or you will be miserable. Look forward to a new future. Pray that God leads the perfect soulmate to you that will never leave you and always cherish you. And count your blessings every night to make yourself feel better. You have your health, a good family, friends, a career to look forward to....look at the faces of those little starving, homeless and orphaned children around the world and count your blessings. Remember time will heal this wound.
2006-12-17 05:34:16 · answer #2 · answered by Orion777 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to remember people change, who you loved in 8th grade is not the person you should even consider marrying. And you always change a lot between 18 and 21 so your marriage was really doomed from the start.
It won't make a diff how much weight you lose, or how you change your body you need to change yourself inside FIRST!
The outside changes will make you happy only temporarily. Do NOT go after him, he made his choice, you find someone else. There are plenty of guys looking for girls. Look in the right places like a good friend of the family or someone at church.. not the local watering holes and clubs.
You will get over this time heals.. but trying to go after him again is just ridiculous he is over you .. now you get over him!
2006-12-17 05:21:22 · answer #3 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK, Listen up. First of all this is going to take time and you will feel like a mess for a while. He has obviously moved on and I think that you should start doing anything you can to get over him, A boob job is actually a great confidence booster, make sure you are NOT DOING IT TO GET HIM BACK, because it won't work, make sure you find a good Doctor and do it under the muscle, it looks more natural that way, do not get them too large for your body frame, you will just look ridiculous. Now. I want you to focus on your life, I want you to go out with friends, go to charity events, art galleries, volunteer in your community, get active, get out, meet new people,
Stop putting your life on hold he is not worth it and you will find someone better, believe me, you will!!!
Be strong. good luck.
And don't call this jerk ever again, you hear?
2006-12-17 05:55:24 · answer #4 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While it is never a good time this is a horrible time of year to have this happen. I truly feel sorry for you. I had something like this happen to me after 37 years of marriage. So I know how painful it is for you.
It took awhile but I begin to see that it was up to me as to how I handled this. For this to happen is very much like losing them to death. It is worse however because they are still around.
But you must keep on going and living your life.
By my standards you are young. You have a lifetime ahead of you and plenty of happy times too. Take the time you need to grieve. It is a loss but….what he did....how he says he felt about you......has nothing whatever to do with the real you. You are still the women he married. He just did not get his playing around out of his system before you married. And now you are paying the price for that.
There will come a time when he will look back and realize what he gave up. It may take time......lots of it.....but he will. What ever you do… do not let him keep you from where you are going. You have plans and you need to now go for them.
You will meet many more men in your life. Try to look at this as a valuable lesson. As much as you want to do not try to go back with him. He clearly has let you go and you need to do the same.
And with all the guys you will meat take a very long time to get to know them before you commit.
Always remember and never forget.......if a man truly loves you he will wait as long as you need to feel right about him and your relationship. If he doesn’t you never really had him anyway.
One last thing. You mention getting a boob job. Please ask yourself why do you want to do this. Sure it is very popular now but you were made just like you are for a reason and should never feel you have to enhance it. The loss of weight is good....not the way it happened....but for health reasons. If you feel that the boob job is needed to attract men please think again. Of course it will…..men love breasts....every women knows that....but the thing that keeps them is you.....your personality. That is all you need. Just a thought.
Gather with your family this Christmas and let him have his mommy. You are much better off no matter how painful it is.
2006-12-17 06:07:45 · answer #5 · answered by John B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
in accordance to many great lyricists of the 20 th & Twenty-first centuries, love is: a stranger in an open vehicle, a threat of a distinctive style, a rollercoaster- (you purely gotta holiday it), purely a 4 letter word, a river, that circles the Earth, a beam of sunshine shinin' to the edge of the universe, blind, affected person, purely a fable, computerized, discomfort, solid, the regulation, humorous, genuine, everywhere, style, a blessing, a contemporary. And, purely for completeness; Love is all you like, it do no longer pay no expenses, it particularly is all around me, it conquers all, it variations each and everything, it breaks the chains, it cuts and it slices like chilly metallic. And who're we to argue with the likes of Queen, The Rolling Stones and Annie Lennox? As for why it hurts so undesirable... It hurts so undesirable whilst it particularly is over by using fact it felt so great whilst it substitute into happening. existence, eh? Ah, properly, a minimum of the discomfort reminds you you're alive. xxxx
2016-10-18 10:03:35 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brain and heart must work as a team on this. He's nearby right? well go to him as your heart desires. also think before you do so. He woke up one day and said he's not in love with you any more?!??! ok ummm how can I say this...... no one who had a long relationship as you did him, wouldn't do that that easy unless he was cheeting. If cheeting is the cast then it's not a wise decision to go to him to achive a relationship again, more to get him thinking is much more better. I mean he left you, he was with you for since 8th grade, he mustof meet her on the net and it mustof been resently, I know it's not easy to hear crap like this, but you must have your mind set on these things, who knows when time comes to face up to it? drowning in tears isn't gonna solve it, you must tough'n up when it's time to tell your love that he must ask himself if he's truely happy. You have a life to live, you have to figure out through his answer if it's worth redeming his love to you again, or to find away to get over him. He's in either a despreat measure in his life or he's living it up. Don't base your life on his if he's living it up, it's somethinng to get over, you have friends and family who care about you more than he does. Soak up the life as it is, more things will come your way, it'll be handed to you or it'll be in reach for you to grasp. If you need an extra friend I'll be more than happy to join your journy of life, so that you'd have someone to talk to, some one outof your family, some one different, I can be that different dude for ya, it's up to ya though.
2006-12-17 05:35:12 · answer #7 · answered by Patient NightShade 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This must be a trick question.You couldn't possibly want to be back with a man who treated you like shi*?Getting breast implants aren't going to change who you are and you need to find a man who like you for who you really are.This mans rejection of you doesn't mean you are not pretty enough or good enough ,it means he wanted some thing different and you should see it as his lost.You didn't didn't lose any thing but your dream of what you wanted your relationship to be.Be who you are and when you find a man this time you will know he wants you for you ,not because you have fake boobs or altered your self to please people that can never be pleased.
2006-12-17 05:25:38 · answer #8 · answered by punkin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
love is blind..... My only sugestion to you is move on he obveiously does not care enough..... 1question is his name Ralph.... ? You can do better then that... He wants some 18 year old fling have at you will find happieness else where and may be some day he will come around but by then you will be happy and not care about him... Life is crule some times but strong and will get his... This I am sure..
2006-12-17 05:34:39 · answer #9 · answered by savannah_smiles25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say ex-husband, so I assume the divorce is final. It is time for you to leave him in the past and find a man who deserves you!
2006-12-17 05:27:29 · answer #10 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋