We have had alot of problems in the last year but are trying to work it out. i messed up one night and went out w/ friends and did not return home until the next morning. so now he goes out but tells me he can cause he did not burn his bridges, and that he doesn't fully trust me . i can say that i have not done it but 1 time and have not since.
2006-12-17 03:38:45 · 23 answers · asked by SHAY D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok to answer your questions, i was with a group of girls and it was my first girls night out ever, and yes i messed up. we married young and had children young . have now been together 12 yrs
2006-12-17 04:34:12 · update #1
He's wrong. Using this as an excuse to do what he wants isn't exactly forgiving and forgetting. Nor is he concerned about your feelings. You messed up, you're contrite and sorry for what you did. HE is the one with the problem. He's still angry, but I suspect that he's just using this to go out and make YOU feel guilty. So far, it's working isn't it?
2006-12-17 03:52:06 · answer #1 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say thats wrong of him. I think he uses that as an exuse.
You went out one night big deal, alot of people in relationships have a night where they go out with their friends called a girls or guys night out. If you are being honest with him he should atleast give you a chance. Yeah sure if you made this an every night thing, than sure it would be hard to trust, but thats not the case.
You two really should sit down and have a good talk and try and resolve this issue.
2006-12-17 11:49:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok first of all everyone makes mistakes, and he did have the right to do it one time but over and over no, and there has to be a reason u did it and i say if he is goin out as he pleases no thats wrong,and if you are trying to make it work he has to learn to trust you again, maybe he should ask himself whats goin on with him to cause you to run wild 1 time. Also making it work is 2 ways not one way.
2006-12-17 14:23:46 · answer #3 · answered by ncgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say you two are too much like children, and have forgotten what a mrriage is. Each of you is too interested at getting back at the other.... "You did this, I didn't like it so there!!! And so now I'll do it too!!!!" Get real, and find out why you two would rather hurt each other than provide an enviornment of love, contentment, trust, admiration and respect.... Sign up for a few sessions of counseling... You're both babies.
2006-12-17 11:46:30 · answer #4 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you both need to act like adults in an adult relationship. You need to sit down and talk out your issues and start treating each other with respect. It will never work if you don't. No more of this you did it and now I am going to do it to get you back. This is a marriage not a highschool love affair.
2006-12-17 11:47:40 · answer #5 · answered by pamela v 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is definetely disrespecting you because he felt disrespected, but two wrongs don't make a right.
you should both re-evaluate your feelings, and start fresh. sounds like he has made up for the one night that you went out, and it is time to stop holding that crap over each others head. just start new. clean slate, and make an effort to be honest and come home at a decent hour.
2006-12-17 12:00:21 · answer #6 · answered by don't be rude. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's so sad that you two don't feel you can go out with each other!
I'm not saying he's right, but.................you should really come and go as you please, shouldn't you? Your married, but if he can come and go, why shouldn't you? Marriage doesn't give him the right to control you, nor you him.
Hopefully with the Holiday's upon us and a new year right around the corner, I'm in hopes you can wok something out! Having one less divorce in this life time would be great!!
2006-12-17 11:44:32 · answer #7 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it sounds that you guys have alot of built up regression and that usually doesnt go away just like the suspicion it always stays there. in my past relationship i or actually we learned u cant love without trust and u cant trust w/o love. it is the two biggest things in the relationship. but no he is not right if he wanted the relationship to work he wouldnt throw that in ur face he just wants u to hurt like he did.
2006-12-17 11:45:28 · answer #8 · answered by JO- JO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Paybacks hurt. And obviously that's what's going on here.
He's deeply hurt from your wrongful all nighter. And is attempting to hurt you back, just as deeply.
I'd recommend a professional to determine if it's possible to forgive each other.
2006-12-17 11:55:05 · answer #9 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think his right!what kind of married women goes out and return home next morning?of course he doesnt trust u!
2006-12-17 12:22:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋