Why are many men so insecure when it comes to homosexuality?

Question

What I mean is, why is it that when some men (not all), who claim to be okay with gay people, see two guys together, they have to let the whole world know that they don't like it? Or they are prepared to "punch someone out" if a gay man hits on them? Why can't they just say "no, I like women?" I mean, are some straight guys so desperate to "prove" that they're straight that they have to get so riled up? And keep in mind most of the men I'm talking about claim to be okay with gays.

Answer 1

I'll tell you what this is in my view, if you're willing to hear some frank opinion. Some of it is outright ignorance or hate. But most of it is simple insecurity. I think the opposition to gay rights comes from a lack of self confidence of one's own social standing. That's male insecurity mind you- clearly homophobia was born of male competition over women. These men see gays as a threat to their own chances with women. If society allows homosexuals to coexist openly among heterosexuals, then these homosexuals may begin to influence women's opinions of what traits are desirable in men. Rather than controlling themselves, confident in their choice of lifestyle, interests, opinions, and how appealing they are in the eyes of women, these men panic, and demand absolute control over the rules of the game. They insist very publicly that everyone must hold the same opinions and respect the same rules. This is absurd in my mind.

Though nothing new, of course. It's simple Darwinian competition, and has been in play for millions of years. This political issue illustrates two very different approaches to life: One values working hard to make oneself a strong competitor in a game with ever-evolving rules. The other pretends the rules- and only such rules as benefit oneself- are static and absolute, then forces these fictitious rules upon all of society and punishes any skeptics or non-conformists.

Both approaches to life raise one's stock in the Darwinian game. It is undeniable that bigotry is effective. It achieves its aims. But which approach is stronger, that is, which approach ultimately will succeed in the long run? Before you answer, ask yourself one more question: Which approach is more adaptable? Well, you can see where I'm going with this. In a game of Darwinian competition the more adaptable strategy ultimately wins. So long as man remains civilized, the liberal belief wins out. It requires less energy. One manages oneself, not everyone else.

Civilization produces homosexuality. That's an uncomfortable fact to many men, but that's in our genetic makeup. Let's ask ourselves why homosexuality is more prevalent in cities. Why? Because of the reasons given above. In a city one learns very quickly that one cannot possibly manage everyone's beliefs. In rural settings, however, it is possible. People who live in rural settings are no different than their urban neighbors, it's just that one Darwinian strategy- the conservative one- plays out more favorably. Why is homosexuality more accepted in Europe? Older cities.

Hugs !

Answer 2

You have the answer in the question Insecurity.

Many straight men are afraid that any vague sense of curiosity about or arousal calls to question their masculinity.

Therefore they tend to overreact. There have been numerous psychological studies that have demonstrates that the level of a mans self-acceptance and self-awareness of his own sexuality directly correlates with his aggressive responses to what is perceived as a sexual challenge to his self-perceived heterosexuality.

University of Georgia performed a study cited in a HBO documentary but I have been unable to for a post on line of the study or its findings

One more point, If a "Straight" man is propositioned by a gay man he may also feel that he is perceived as gay in the society, which if he is insecure can lead to an obvious and sometimes violent overreaction.

Answer 3

i seriously think men are just stupid. im a man and im straight but sometimes feel bisexual. i can admit that. but i dont understand why guys hate other guys cuz there gay?. i mean come on straight girls have lesbians as friends. why cant straight guys have gay guys as friends. i don't understand it. i read boys ( straight) have some type of hormone that causes them to act different around gay men, and act mean.(testosterone) i hate hate hate when other guys kill other guys for being gay. that sickens me to my stomach. thats horrible. just let people be themselves. i'm straight and have several gay & bi friends. idc. there normal just like everyone else. people just cant accept that. society is brainwashed, and i garentee you, that if there were no such things as labels or gay bi, more men and women would come out to society and overtake it. hope that helped! =]

Answer 4

At some point int heir lives more than 1/2 of men have some sort of sexual contact with another man. This is normal and healthy. The unhealthy side effect is that straight men then spend the rest of their lives trying to forget that it happened, or denying that they enjoyed it a little.

Answer 5

I don't think it is as bad as it was before. There is this guy at work who is openly gay. It got around at work that he had a crush on this one guy. And I thought the **** is going to hit the fan. Well it turned out that the straight guy took it as a compliment. He said "Wow I must be real good both sexes think I'm hot"

Answer 6

Because certain straight men and closeted gay men incorrectly associate sexual orientation with how powerful you are. To them any sign of gayness in themselves is somehow an inherent weakness. You're absolutely right though, if they were comfortable with gays and comfortable with their OWN sexuality, it wouldn't bother them.

Straights who have a healthy, realistic self-image of themselves don't go around looking for 'fags to bash.' Only straight men that confuse gender identity with 'power.'

Answer 7

I as with most gays believe str8 people are different. As for str8 men's behavior... you stated why are many men insecure. That right there is the issue, that many str8 men are insecure about their sexuality. I agree with you that most people are tolerent regarding homosexuality, it's existance is causing people to recognize and talk about it, more every day. Good post!

Answer 8

You're stupid. I had all male friends growing up, a girlfriend, and I was pretty masculine too. I'm gay, and I was born this way.

Answer 9

guys are afraid to express their sensitive side. they feel they have to be tough and show off in front of their friends.. get that same guy alone and ask his opinions, you may get a different answer..

society seems to dictate to most as to how they are supposed to act and what they are supposed to believe..

i'm totally bi, and i am happy saying that. i think love is love, no matter what gender your partner is.

Answer 10

It's based on their own insecurity; their inability to admit that they too have such impulses.