I have joint custody but they come over with ripped shoes and clothes that do not fit. I am trying to put money away for their college(three little ones). I can not let them go around with clothes that are unwearable. I do not hesitate about purchasing what they need and hopefully can still save some money as well. Any suggestions out there?
2006-12-17 02:40:20 · 13 answers · asked by paco 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my ex wife does the same thing. ms. claus told you the right thing. she knows you will go out and buy them whatever they need. i know, because i do the same thing.
2006-12-17 03:12:17 · answer #1 · answered by chris r 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Document it with photos and a written log of the date and the way the kids were dressed. Also keep track of if they had been bathed, hair combed etc. If possible get someone who is not related to you like a neighbor or child care worker give a statement and see if they would be willing to go to the court to testify. Call your attorney for more suggestions. Or is she doing it to annoy you Are they dressed this way all the time or just when she sends them to you. You could keep a couple of changes of clothes and a pair of shoes at your home and change them when they come before they go back to change them back.
2006-12-17 02:57:36 · answer #2 · answered by wes41550 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Document everything. Take pictures when they come over. Keep a record of everything you buy for at least 6 months. Do they go to school or day care. Can you see the children there? If so are they dressed in good clothes at school/day care? It doesn't sound like she is caring for your children, but it could be something more obnoxious. My husbands ex used to send his kids to our house with only "play clothes." They were usually ripped or stained, but they did fit. Talk to her about the condition of their clothes and ask if she is buying what they need. If nothing changes take her back to court. Your first priotrity is the health and safety of your children. This sounds like neglect to me.
2006-12-17 02:50:09 · answer #3 · answered by kerijeanbean 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When the children come over in that state I would take picutres and then when they leave your house take pictures of their condition again. Then after two or three times I wold file for full custody citing neglect because that is what it is. Then you can get an order for her to pay you the support and she how she likes it. Moms like that make me mad when they take advantage of a good dad who wants to take care of his kids. Do not let the kids suffer too much longer you need to take action. God Bless and let the Lord guide you . If you get full custody whith her having only visits you will need to protect yourself by taking pictures of the children before they go to a visit and when they come home so if she tries to lie you can prove her to be a liar.
2006-12-17 02:51:45 · answer #4 · answered by wolfy1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever think that she is sending them in their old stuff so you will buy them the new stuff? I know a lot of women who will just send their kids in old wore out stuff so the man will give them money to buy new stuff for the kids. I hope if you are buying them new stuff you are actually purchasing it yourself and not giving the ex the money. If you are handing her over more money it just a scam. Make her give you receipts for everything you give her. And if you do purchase the kids clothes keep the receipts and make them try them on before they go home and take off the tags so she cant return them.
2006-12-17 02:49:18 · answer #5 · answered by darlin 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
first of all, sturdy for you for stepping up and being a surprising father to this baby. no longer a lot of people (women individuals secure) are keen as an occasion that time of altruism. subject concerns like those are why people would desire to get to be attentive to a minimum of one yet another until now marriage. besides, your spouse sounds jealous of the baby and that she resents which you're spending money on a baby that's not even yours once you will desire to truly be spending it on her. i do no longer think of your spouse will substitute. that's somewhat unlucky yet I think of that her thoughts would be much extra destructive after the delivery of your organic and organic son or daughter. i'm hoping which you reside there to your daughter. She is now at an age the place your abandonment could impression her emotionally in a destructive way. although, i think of that this could proceed to reason opposition between you and your spouse until she grows a coronary heart and prevents thinking approximately herself and her needs over the desires of your daughter.
2016-12-11 10:50:59 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take her back to court.you need to take pictures,even when they go to school,but don't let the kids know what your doing it for.if they ask just tell em your getting so big and i just want some pictures to keep for later on in life.
whatever you do don't talk bad about your ex-wife to your kids.if you go back to court the judge will talk to the kids,,and he'll find out.the judge don't go for things like that ,,,i know i just went to go on child custody,,,and i won.
just be careful on what you say and how you say it.just a reminder,your kids need all the love and attention from both parents.good luck
2006-12-17 03:19:15 · answer #7 · answered by hl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
her wages are half of what you make. and you mention nothing of child support.
but, at least you return the clothes... my ex didnt. i would send them in their nicest clothes and he would trash 'em every single time (allow the children to rip, stain, and ruin them) he even would take them and never return them. so, i sent them in their play clothes in stead. problem solved.
the states (mine included) dont have the man power for supervised visitation, and more then likely, you've already sent social services to her door.
maybe she doesnt get child support. maybe she earns a lot less then you. maybe she has the nice stuff at home and just sends them in play clothes. maybe she is doing it to get you to buy new ones. maybe she spent all of the money on rent or the shut off bill. who knows... none of us do.
so ask her.
or try to defuse it, simply buy your kids clothes (to keep at your house) if you want them to dress nice. then put on the old clothes when they are ready to return home.
if you have the money to put away for college for them, a pair of shoes (x3) is doable.
do what is best for them, and right now, shoes seem to be it.
2006-12-18 13:55:06 · answer #8 · answered by Yvette B yvetteb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go buy one of those disposable cameras, take pics of the children in their raggedy clothes and send them along with a letter to the courts ..Explain the situation to them and see what happens ..They might award custody to you ...Good Luck
2006-12-17 02:46:47 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is simply the continuing spousal war game. I'm sure she sends them in their worst rags......Knowing full well, you'll make replacement. Return the children back to her, with what they arrived in. She will soon cease, when her plan no longer works.
If it does NOT, take pictures when they arrive, and speak to your attny about why she isnt using support funds for your children.
2006-12-17 02:52:48 · answer #10 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you have to get the kids new clothes, i suggest you take them shopping yourself rather than leave it to your ex-wife to shop for them.
and as adviced by the people above me, make sure this is documented.
2006-12-18 00:00:01 · answer #11 · answered by Bubuchachum 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋