I have recently meet this guy, and at first sparks sorta flew between us. We gave it a bit of a go, but both realised that we are much better for each other as friends. We spend alot of time together, and each have our own set of problems to deal with.
Tonight he said he needed to chat and came round to hang out. It seems though, that as usual when it comes time to spit out whats on his mind he says" it doesn't matter anymore" or just can't seem to get it out. I know he has alot of stuff going on and I really want to be there for him as his friend, but how do i help him if he won't tell me what is bugging him? He keeps calling me to talk and clams up every time. How do I get him to talk without being pushy or seeming like I'm just nosy?
2006-12-17 00:47:56 · 4 answers · asked by loza500 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Well it could be 1 of 2 things...
1st is: He may not know how to communicate His feelings, and that could make Him too embarrassed about trying to explain His problems. Ex: These problems aren't really that bad, but He feels that they are so silly that no one else has ever or could ever go through them, so they can't Help him "deal" with them.
2nd is: He may be "Insecure" in himself, and just being "near-you"(spending time together, even over the phone) brings him comfort! You could be "The Blanket(Security), or Teddy(Bear)" that He used for "comfort" as a child.
Instead of "dealing" with all of his problems. He is just "hoping" that being around you, you will somehow make his problems "magically disappear!" So He doesn't have to tell you what they are, because you might laugh at him, for having those type's of problems.
If you really want to be his friend and help him, then you will have to be "Patient But Firm" in your request to listen to his problem(s), then try to find "The Solution(s)" to those problems together...
I hope the 'main" problem isn't that He is confused about ya'll! Trying to "take-it" further than ya'll did, and now are "just friends."
Best Wishes with this dilema....
2006-12-17 01:32:11 · answer #1 · answered by 1moe4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loza he may not be that great of a communicator, start with small tid bits and work up from there. If he doesn't want to talk, get out of there. It's like Pavlov's dog! Sooner or later he will start to understand that extended time with you only happens during long conversations.
Orcal_girl
I'm going to make it my days work to report all the spam you put out today. Did the same thing to "man" yesterday! You're the same person aren't you! Advertisements are illegal on this site....scram!
2006-12-17 08:52:39 · answer #2 · answered by delux_version 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to be straight up with him and get it out. If you are close he should have no problems with you asking him what his problem is so you can help. It does sound like you might need to prepare yourself for his answer though. If he is clamming up each time you try to confront it, he is definitely scared of the conversation that we wants to have. You never know, he might be madly in love with you and want to confess his undying love for you.
2006-12-17 09:12:38 · answer #3 · answered by Jeremiah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might just like being in your company.
2006-12-17 09:30:43 · answer #4 · answered by elliebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋