They want me to get married to my bf asap, but he wants to get a house and good job. i have agreed to wait for him. But my parents are bent on hell to get me down with him. i have tried to tell them to wait.. they just dont understand.
i tried to move out so many times- but everytime they cry and pull me back in.
WHAT CAN I DO????
2006-12-17 00:29:00 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Whose life is this and how old are you? If you are old enough to marry, you are old enough to make your own choices. And how can parents "pull you back in"? Just get up and move. They sound like control freaks and you sound way too dependent.
2006-12-17 00:31:41 · answer #1 · answered by Isis 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey I'm a 26 year old woman and am facing more subtle pressure in this regard. The old aunties and inquisitive relatives have been after my blood to marry since I turned 23. However, I have managed to convince my parents that I am not willing to get married right now (maybe ever). I am well educated and I have worked for good companies but I am looking out for a job right now. My presently unemployed state makes my parents uneasy at times and they have suggested that I consider the option of marriage. I have very firmly told them that I want to pursue my further education (MBA) and that I fully understand what marriage means in the Indian context (ie keeping house and pandering to the whims of in-laws). I have expressed my dissent (and even disgust) at this idea of marriage and they have had no choice but to accept that I am right in my apprehensions. They sometimes fret about the lack of security that I am subjecting myself to by remaining single at this age, but I retort by saying that I don't deserve an unhappy life with someone I don't love just because I was born a woman. I suggest that you talk it out with your parents and put a sort of gender inequality spin on your arguments against Indian arranged marriages. No educated parents want to look like they support chauvinism. Trust me, it will work. I know your post is 4 years old and (if you caved) you're probably married by now, but you can treat this as a sort of guide for those who haven't yet given in to the pressures of early (read unwanted) marriage and childbirth.
2016-05-23 01:50:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to run your own life...it's always better to wait, rather than rush into your first broken marriage. There is nothing wrong with your boy friend's plan to have a good job, and a house before he takes on any more responsibilities. It sounds like a much better approach than the "Love is enough, even if we live in a Maytag box in an ally" sort of mentality.
Good Luck.
2006-12-17 01:07:24 · answer #3 · answered by Joe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch. Talk to your parents. It's the BEST thing to do. Talk to them, try to understand and listen to their reasons. They might have an important thing on their mind or something. Because if you don't want to get married, they very well can't force you to. If you really want to escape, go in the middle of the night. Prepare a letter explaining. Creep out of the window with a bunch of your clothes and other important stuff. Then go. This is only if you really, really, REALLY can't handle it anymore. This is as a last resort. I advise you not to stay with your BF. It's too obvious. Stay with a friend. But try your best to understand your parents' side of the story before trying this. TRY, TRY, TRY. They want what's best for you. Good Luck!!!
2006-12-17 00:46:25 · answer #4 · answered by rubyprincess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must take a stand. And simply tell them. This is the decision that you have made. Remind them that you are an adult. And you realize that they love you and only want what is best for you. And you do appreciate this. However, you have made a choice and your choice is to wait until you have these things in place. Good luck and God bless****
2006-12-17 00:39:47 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm a bit confused, do they want you to leave or stay? Go with him or stay at home? This is kinda neat because most parents don't bond so completely with a b/f! Sounds like they have bonded with him more than you! Is there someone else?
2006-12-17 00:35:55 · answer #6 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them that when you are both ready you will marryguy has not got job dont your parents want you to have a good life explain it to them see if they buy you both a house and give himm a good wage stand your ground if you want to move just move when they not home that way they start crying you already outand tell them they just accept it
2006-12-24 04:59:12 · answer #7 · answered by ariesfunram 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can force you to get married although I understand that you are under tremendous pressure. Why do your parents want to rush you into marriage? Understanding why will you a key to coping with it. Are they concerned about your morality? Then do everthing possible to reassure them that you and your boyfriend are conducting yourselves properly. Do they fear that he is not committed to you and will hurt you? Then yiu must have him discuss with them his intentions to first get a good job and a house.
2006-12-17 00:51:40 · answer #8 · answered by babydoll 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im assuming you are an adult and in that case you are entitled to make up your own mind on how you live your life.
sure listen to what you parents have to say but get them to listen to you too. explain that you love them but you have to learn by your own mistakes and they need to give you some space to work out what you want to do with your life.
2006-12-17 00:45:33 · answer #9 · answered by vanessaoz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how old you are, but you need to take charge of your own life and not let your parents live it for you!
2006-12-17 00:41:47 · answer #10 · answered by MC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋