I had a best friend who completely mistreated me. She was always saying how bad a friend i was and got mad at me for the smallest things. I found out that she pretty much using me to get her near a guy that she liked and had another best friend. i confronted her about the problem and she was really upset about me "accusing" her about talking about me behind my back. the very next day she sent me a sorry card, saying that she didnt mean it, and it was just that she was in a bad mood. I obviously do not trust this claim, but she sounded really sorry, and i have been told that everyone deserves a second chance, but still a friend using you???!!! HELP!
2006-12-16 20:28:58 · 14 answers · asked by silva_coin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Walk away - she'll only hurt you further...
2006-12-16 20:30:43 · answer #1 · answered by bovie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about what's she's done for you. If, at the end of the day, you feel that she has, indeed, did quite a lot of things for you (even small things count) then I say she deserve a second chance. You have to be really thorough and thoughtful about it though. Sometimes, we don't realize the little things others do for us.
Unfortunately, if that isn't the case... Then I see no reason why you should give her a second chance. But my advice is, don't go to her and declare war. Just tell her, you're okay with everything and you're willing to move on. But keep your distance (please don't AVOID, just keep a reasonable distance) and analyse every other thing she'll ask of you in the future and respond accordingly.
One more friend in the would, one less enemy you'll have.
Good luck.
2006-12-17 04:34:17 · answer #2 · answered by Diamond 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In life there are a few things you don't do to your friends. the thing is assuming that your friend is an adult. You have to be a friend all the time not just when it is convenient or your lonely or your first choice available.look. you know how this person is and what she is all about it's up to you to act in the right way. as long as you do what you know is right, you will feel good about the choice you have made. If your the type of person that has to have friends around you no matter what the cost then take what ever they throw at you. But if you want to move on and be productive than you need to know when to get ri \d of the drama. Remember real friends want to see you happy and feel good. Real friends don't create problems just for the sake of having the attention. Remember the best gift you can give someone is time so make sure that it is good time. None of us know how much time we have. .... Just my thoughts.
Good luck to you , I am sure you know the right way to handle It.
2006-12-17 04:49:26 · answer #3 · answered by coachg 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By the sound of things, it seems like she was guilty and did not know how to respond when she was caught. She is just trying to cover her tracks. If you really want to give her a second chance, be her friend, but not as close as before. Make her earn your trust again. Keep your guard up until you are sure she can be trusted.
2006-12-17 04:31:59 · answer #4 · answered by bashnick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a few different sayings you should consider.
1)fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me
however you should
2)always forgive (but not forget)
and the third thought is, if a person did something like that once, what's to stop them from doing it again?
Personally, someone who uses you doesn't deserve your presence. If you would still like to be her friend, however, and she wants to be yours, explain to her that what she did was unforgettable, but you will forgive her. Let her know that her trust needs to be gained back. You can lose someone's trust very easiliy, but it's hard to gain it back. That's the part of the not forgetting what she did. You can also explain, that there is a difference between forgiving and forgetting. Protect yourself from getting hurt again.
2006-12-17 04:33:48 · answer #5 · answered by heeheeminnie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Friends" like that are no good. They just tend to say sorry and do it all over again. Save yourself the trouble. Believe me, friends come and go and from the sounds of you can find much better friends.
2006-12-17 11:31:29 · answer #6 · answered by jm_radi2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her another chance. But make note of events that would cause you to feel used. In order to make this important decision fairly, you should pay more attention and just move slowly.
About finding out she was using you...... was that a Truly reliable source?
2006-12-17 04:38:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, ya. everybody does deserve second chances.... But still, just try to observe her more. You can forgive your friend this time... But if you see her do that again...don't forgive her anymore (even though she giva u a sorry card)
2006-12-17 04:35:33 · answer #8 · answered by ρυяρℓє ♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how do YOU feel about it? listen to your GUT feeling on this - i think you're the only one who really knows. For me, if that happened and i feel that she wasn't sorry i'd make "peace" with her but keep my distance - just as long as you have the level of respect with one another, you're good - you don't have to be friends with everyone to make things better again.
2006-12-17 04:38:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went throu a simliar thing last year with a so called best friend, i told her how i felt, she didn't like wat i was saying but it was the truth, i coulda of given her, but then it would of happened again, so we are now no longer friends, and i don't regret that
2006-12-17 04:33:27 · answer #10 · answered by Tezza 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't trust her. you will only end up being used again. If she did it like that who's to say she won't do it again?
2006-12-17 04:33:11 · answer #11 · answered by Jason B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋