Long story short. My husband has been waiting on a promotion for a long time. He has had 3 offers in the last year, but they have always been hundreds of miles away from where we live. He's always turned them down because of that. Two days ago, his director told him he had to be in Iowa immediatley, but wouldn't tell him why. Well after he got there he was offered a promotion. If he turns down this one, it will probably be his last offer. I know my husband is DYING to tell them yes, and he would make a LOT more money, but at the same time, I'm torn. I am really close to my family and it tears me up to think of leaving them behind. My family is more important than money and stature, but I don't want to disapoint my husband. He's worked so hard and deserves this promotion.
2006-12-16 19:52:15 · 24 answers · asked by Holy Rollin Mama 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You don't have to go....
2006-12-16 20:01:26 · answer #1 · answered by Jagger Otto 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You family is your family but so is your husband and allot of times in order to live you have to live where the job takes you ,,,, A job is security as well as financial well being for the both of you and your children if you have any yet ,,,, Jobs just aren't that easy to find anymore,,,, let alone a good job like you've described your husbands to be ,,,, With out a job you aren't going to go anywhere ,,,,, You should feel happy and lucky that he's had a chance at so many opportunities so far ,,,,, Allot of people spend their whole lives with a dead end go no where job with no chance for advancement ,,,,, It would be nice if you could work where your home and family are but your first loyalty is to your husband and his job ,,,, or it should be ,,,, because like I said earlier ,,,,, His job is his and your security ,,,,, Everything you have or ever will have depends on his employment ,,,, Sometimes some sacrifices have to be made in order to just survive ,,,,, But it sound like to me that you'll be living pretty good where you are going or should go ,,,,, As for the your family ,,,, Well theirs always the phone or even the computer and there's always trips to look forward to when you are able to go back home for visits ,,,, They aren't going to vanish just because you have to leave due to job requirements ,,,, And it's not really like you are leaving them anyway ,,,, You just aren't going to be as close to them is all ,,,, But for your husbands sake as well as yours you should try to reconcile these differences ,,,, It's your husband you are living with now not your family ,,,,, He deserves your first allegence ,,,,, Talk it over with your parents or older members of your family and I think you'll find that they will say the same thing I'm saying to you right now ,,,, Allot of people have to move where their job is or takes them all the time ,,,,, You and your husband aren't the only ones that have had to go through this ,,,, And you certainly won't be the last ,,,,, Get as much outside imput as you need but think long and hard about it ,,,, But ultimately the decision is yours ,,,,
2006-12-17 04:53:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want him to take the promotion. The extra money will allow more visits, he will get the recognition he deserves for hard work, and his job won't be in jeopardy.
The world has got to the point where moving is really a part of life now. In 3 years he might get another promotion where you can return home. Your family might consider moving out to where you live, or even visiting often. He could do it for 2 years, and HATE it and take a demotion to return home.
Be happy for him, and have a sense of adventure :)
2006-12-17 03:56:15 · answer #3 · answered by PinkPrincessNerd 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is one thing that you will have to do. If he has turned so many offers down, they might not look at him for promotions anymore. You can always move back. Think of it as a change in scenery for a while.
I do and my husband has been in the military for 5 years. He can't say no to a move.
2006-12-17 04:08:12 · answer #4 · answered by Melissa F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry to have to tell you this but you have to bite the bullet and go with your husband. My father (may he rest in piece) told me to go with my husband and i did. My fear was that a member of my family would get sick. When that did happen i just flew home with my kids and stayed with my dad for 7 weeks, l looked after him until he past away. I havent regreted moving away we live in a great place and have made lots of friends and you just get used to being away from your family, we use the computer and telephone to keep in touch. I suggest you do it and if it doesnt work then you can always go back. You cannot stay joined at the hip to your family you have to spread your wings and fly.
2006-12-17 04:01:03 · answer #5 · answered by seashellshb 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is your husband. They say when you marry, you leave your family and start your own. This is what you need to do. Take a chance and move there with him. Give it some time and see what happens. You can always go back home if it doesnt work out but you should show some duty to your husband.
2006-12-17 03:54:20 · answer #6 · answered by surfer_grl_ca 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well you should always put on consirdiration your husband goals and anvisions.if he got offered that promotion its becauser he is really good on what he does and you should see it that way.If he doest take that promotion he will always in some way or other juge you for him not having enogh money nor a better life.I know that your family its very important to you but it always comes a point in life in wich you have to make some sacrifises in order to grow up as a human being and this is your turn to grow up and live up.
2006-12-17 04:06:04 · answer #7 · answered by Carl W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with moving somewhere new and supporting your husband. I think it's healthy to start a new somewhere. I'm sure you both would be happy. Obviously he deserves the promotion, you should just smile, tell him it will all go ok, and you are behind him and love him all the way.
Hugs for you!! It will be just fine!
2006-12-17 03:55:38 · answer #8 · answered by C. M. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Then don't! You want this for your husband as badly as he wants it, so make a new start and your family can always visit or you can visit them. Who are you married to? Let's get real here, quit your whining and support your husband in all he does for you. You sound like a smart woman so back him up and tell him if he wants it to accept and you'll adjust. Make it his dream and your dream will come true also. I have been married for 28 years and I have always supported my wife in whatever she thought was good for her and I and vise versa. I want you to know this as you have to make sacrifices or marriage doesn't mean a thing and marriage is hard work. Now get to work and support your husband. Merry Christmas!
2006-12-17 04:50:40 · answer #9 · answered by beamer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no question....follow your husband. if you know your husband is dying to tell them yes and if you love your husband then you would support him....your husband should be more important to you than your family. and by the way you are right....if he has worked so hard then he DOES deserve the promotion...so why would you mess that up for him????
2006-12-17 03:56:08 · answer #10 · answered by snowsnake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suck it up and move. At least that is what I would do. With the hubby making so much more dough I could afford to visit and with phones, texting, Internet and a few other forms of communication we have today I wouldn't be more than 30 seconds away anyway.
2006-12-17 03:55:09 · answer #11 · answered by Star 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋