You can find me in the back corner of the classroom, keeping to myself..the typical loner.. and the most difficult thing is talking to people, it's like I want to but I just feel pressured and nervous...and im not a good conversationalist at all... Does anyone know any steps I could take to help me open up? Because I don't want to have to take pills that try to make me not like this, because this is mainly the reason why ive never had a boyfriend.. I want to become not shy but how??
2006-12-16 19:26:45 · 12 answers · asked by Odd One Out 3 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
heheh I totally was this way. It was my daughter who opened me up - me the shyest person in the world, had a 2 year old daughter who would chat with strangers and hug bus drivers!!!
Since then I realized a few things. People stay with what they are used to - even if it isn't comfortable. And you make your own decisions. Here are some things I have done to make myself feel less shy - because [if you're like me] you'll always FEEL shy, you just have to get over it.
1 - Buy new clothes. Sounds silly, but you want to open up new ways to talk to people right? A girl loves your shirt - will walk up to you and ask "where did you get your shirt??" -- a great way to talk to people! [and feel a little better about yourself too!]
2 - Force yourself out of your comfort zone. Smile at people when you're in line at the store instead of pretending they aren't there. When someone says hi, talk back instead of just smiling. You might feel like a dumbass at first [speaking from personal experience here] but it is a habit you will get into.
3 - Practice. Take a dog for a walk in the park. Kids will run up, pat the dog, and talk to you. Awesome practice. They won't judge you - they're interested in the dog!!
4 - Join a club where you have to talk. If you like books, a book club. A drama club. A debating club... anything to get you to talk to other people
5 - You are a good conversationalist - you need practice. This sounds so geeky but it works - have a few practice conversations with yourself. Then when you have that worked out, it is time to try it on someone else - decide what you are looking for ahead of time and then walk into a store and ask for it. You might get a chatty salesperson you can practice on!! You need to find comfort in other people and not just yourself here....
6 - Make random comments. If you're in line for 25 minutes with only 4 people ahead of you, turn to the person behind you, and say something silly like - aaahhhh this is horrible - and flash a cheezy grin. You don't want to come across as complaining just friendly!
7 - Join a sport!!! You need to be on a team, in a team, with a team -- you just need to belong!! Floor hockey? Regular hockey? Something you want to do [even if you're not good at it or don't know how!!] that is fun. You need a reason to talk to people!
8 - Remember to practice on everyone you can. It will turn into a habit and become easier really fast. Do you want to be the 20 year old with no friends, living by yourself with your cat eating frozen dinners watching the news and life pass you by?
You will get rebuffed. You will feel absolutely silly. Find the humor in this and start to live your life!
2006-12-16 19:44:07 · answer #1 · answered by PinkPrincessNerd 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I found that repeatedly just forcing yourself to talk to people or walk over to a friendly group works. Start out by just being around groups, that way, you don't necessarily need to have to say much. Be confident that they'll include you, or try to believe that enough so you do it. The more you do and not over think it, the less of a big deal it gets to be.
You also have to remind yourself that it really doesn't matter. The worst thing that could happen, some random person doesn't want to talk to you or doesn't like you. Who cares? There's tons of people who will.
2006-12-16 19:35:58 · answer #2 · answered by Underground Man 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anti social, introvert and loving it here!! Nothing wrong with just being who you are unless YOU have a problem being who you are.
Next time you pick up on a situation where you know you should be more social, get up and push yourself right out into the spotlight. Do this a few times and soon you will realize its not so bad or you will realize that WOW I really don't need to do THAT again!
Just be happy being YOU and others get over it or befriend you anyway.
2006-12-17 03:19:43 · answer #3 · answered by Kitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I`m also anti social like.
maybe It`s not the right time for you ,or maybe there is no
similarity between you and the other to lead into an interaction.
If you can`t find a friend the same age,try find someone younger.
anyway just keep on the light side of your mind and others mind
as well
2006-12-16 19:35:10 · answer #4 · answered by mizuki 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I used to be very quiet not necessarily shy just quiet. So this put me into a different category and has deemed me as mysterious. I think I just slowly started talking more to people and realized they’re very much the same. Everyone has their set of likes & dislikes. People they admire, things they’re passionate about. You just have to be interested in them and then its down hill from there. Just think about it everyone has to make money to live, so everyone works. Ask them “so how’s work treating you”? The use of questions is my power in conversations. Try it.
2006-12-16 19:50:08 · answer #5 · answered by grem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
agoraphobic; or different social disorder that brings on anxiousness because of low self-worth or a deficient self proposal in which through the relief of your managed atmosphere allows you to support the fore recounted conceptual self . your social angst brings a heightened attention of you that has come to be distorted through your isolation and feeds the image you paint for your self of yourself and us possibly there's a chemical imbalance or worrying enjoy preempting this conduct or now not Truly there are too many mitigating elements to deliver it to a unmarried factor from shards of your lifestyles
2016-09-03 12:54:35 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 16 year old neice has this really bad. I suggested that she join groups at school. She has since joined the art club and is slowly gaining confidence to join other clubs. I do admit that I had to come to to her school and help her sign up. Do you have an older sibling you can trust. I am her aunt but since I am the youngest of the rest of my siblings all of my neices and nephews come to me for help.
I do suggest joining a club if not at school then somewhere like a bookstore.
2006-12-16 19:36:54 · answer #7 · answered by erica2368 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am just like yu madam. First step. (if yu want to open up try it in yur family circle. like discussing about various topics with yur mom, father, sister, brotheretc.). Secound step (try to participate in school festival, sports, to increase yur confidence. once yu succed it. observe yur friends assent, way they dress, speak. Take up small conservation with them relating to studies first and so on. but dont bow before peer presure.
2006-12-16 19:39:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to be, but then I started hating my life. Really the best thing you can do is force yourself to go out and enjoy your time with other people. Start with your friends first and then once you feel comfortable talking and socializing with them, then you can feel comfortable enough meeting and talking with new people.
2006-12-16 19:31:00 · answer #9 · answered by [ΦΘΚ] PIяATE 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you should accept that you will always have this tendency to be very shy. Then you should take steps to participate with people. Just be yourself and don't pretend to be someone you're not.
2006-12-16 19:38:03 · answer #10 · answered by the Boss 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋