My husb's B. Bro & his wife send there kids along wherever we go. Even my husband has no Probs but I have Many

Question

They even command me many times about there kids.

Answer 1

tell them your not the babysitter.. and explain to your husband on how you feel.. and do not forget you get have pay extra on where you go.. Just do not go anyway for while.. or just talk to them.. you guy having extra income for they kids... and do it and give them your kids and tell them you have to ran store or get something or doctor appointment or get hair cut or go see your mother or someone.. do it few times... if you can..

Answer 2

About My husb's B. Bro & his wife send there kids along wherever we go. Even my husband has no Probs but I have Many More: http://www.******.com

Answer 3

try talking to ur brother-in-law's wife, that you wanna go out with ur husband alone, like a date ( in a nice way, so that u won't have any conflict, bcaz ur husb got no prob havin those kids along u c).... she will understand that , once u tell her! well she's a gal too!

actually, u need to think their children as urs too, in thsat case u won't have any prob!

this is just my suggestion!

Answer 4

Take your husband into confidence. Be frank and express your views about the matter. Whatever be the nature of the relations between your families, your brother in law has right to dictates terms to you. All said and done, whatever you do, should not result in spoiling the good relations between the brothers. You need to be discreet and circumspect, while straightening things out for yourself.

Answer 5

dear harpreeth jee....may be ur family is combined family. it happens in families who live together. donot hurt children..but u must talk to ur husband and explain ur problem to him. if he does not listen..then u talk to ur hub's b.brs's wife. usme bachhon ka kya kasoor hain? dil chota math karo...lekin dil kee baath bol lo. man halkaa hojaayega...

All the best.

Answer 6

Well, in the interest of fairness, I'd ask your man if at least they could take the kids, all of them, the next time they head out. You take one time, they take one time. You're adults, find something to agree on. Just tell your man you'd like every other time to be without your kids. Does he know this is exhausting? Does he know you feel disrespected and used?

It's easy for him. He drives and stands there, and you monitor a bunch of kids. Also, when B.Bro's kids are there tell your man you'll monitor your own, and he should be responsible for brother's kids. Let him chase them a bit. it's always No Problem when someone else is doing it and all you have to do is graciously volunteer your spouse's services.

If it's really bothering you then just let your husband know that you can't go with him and the kids. When was the last time you didn't have a child in your home? For at least a little while. Let him take the kids, and you take that time for yourself at home.

"They even command me many times about their kids." Wow. Not happening. I have mine. Maybe I don't understand your culture, but when you married the man did they spell wife
N A N N Y?

Your responsibility is to your home and your family. Other people should only be present in your home at your express invitation. I don't know about getting "commanded" anything. Find an acceptable, pat answer for when people start demanding. "I'm sorry, that doesn't work for me." and walk away. Practice saying this in the mirror. Don't be shocked next time he asks you to take his kids, just take a breath, look him in the eye, and say, "Joe, that doesn't work for me." And walk away.

Keep your husband in the loop. Make him aware of your level of exhaustion.

When you speak with people, speak with respect. Respond to what they say, not React. Take a breath, think of what you have to say, and say it calmly and respectfully. This teaches Respect.

If anyone speaks to you inappropriately you can say, "Why, B. Bro, I don't speak to you like that,....why do you speak to me that way?" And they have to think.

Is there anyone else they could dump their kids on. Help them out. Say, "Joe, I can't do that Tuesday, but Susan /Grandma/Uncle Mike will be home, why don't you call them?"

Or you can make arrangements with Susan/Grandma/Uncle Mike that next time the kids are left with you, they can meet B. Bro at your house and let them know they are going to take the kids.

Tell your husband you only want those kids when you invite them. You can't focus on what you need to be doing when you're out with your kids plus theirs. They can come as a treat every once in awhile.

You may want to consider having a teenager come in and babysit the kids (whatever mix) so you and husband can exit alone. Take a break.
Have grandma come sit with them while you and your man ...go. Flirt with him when you are alone. Use that time to tell him the things you admire about him. Be a fun companion. Give him reason to want to go without the kids. : )

This isn't about the kids. It's about control. Take baby steps introducing every one to your new strategy. Teach them to think outside the box. Teachers are kind, and gentle, and patient. Not everybody is going to get it as you introduce new behaviors. Allow for an adjustment period while they are learning. They need to learn that the kids can come when they are invited. They need to learn that you are not their automatic solution to dumping the kids, and to think of alternatives independently. Give them a list of family members and babysitter's numbers they can call. Tell them Aunt Sue said she'd love to spend time with the darlings.

They all need to learn about who you are and where your family boundaries lie. Keep your man in the loop. Go slow. Teach kindly, gently, patiently.....

Answer 7

i would tell tham that i got a life and i dont have not kids and i got a life so am going to live it pace

Answer 8

why dont you talk to your husband about this . he can surely do some thing on his part

Answer 9

what you can do is to explain your husband what you face

Answer 10

don't care abt them .. they will not send again ...