What is going on with someone who was born a girl and who is attracted to males, but honestly feels as though she actually should have been born male, to the point where others have even noticed (her mother has always joked 'she's the son I never had', for instance)? This is not a revelation borne of extensive soul-searching; this 'girl' has ALWAYS thought of herself as a boy since her earliest memories. Are there a lot of people like this? Is there a name for this type of personality?
2006-12-16 18:26:31 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
This is certainly not uncommon. It sounds to me like you are what is known as a gay transman- that is, a female-bodied male who is attracted to men. There are a lot of them out there (it's a myth that there are more male-to-female transsexuals than female-to-male; they are merely more well-known), and there's even an FtM lurking on Yahoo! Answers somewhere, used to (still does?) go by the name 'Mad Scientist'- really nice guy, good answers on female-to-male transsexuality.
Anyhow, it sounds like you are quite clear cut in your gender identity- you feel you should have been male, have always thought of yourself as a boy, and haven't gone through any confusion on this matter. That's very lucky! It seems the only point that's throwing you off is your sexual orientation, and believe me, it throws a lot of people.
Way back when, it used to be thought that you were only gender dysphoric (trapped in the wrong body) if you liked the same sex. For example- they let gay men transition to women, and lesbians to men, but a straight man or woman couldn't have a sex change. After all- why would they? Don't they already like the opposite sex? Since then, we've had a big shift, and now realize that there's a difference between who you are (gender identity) and who you want to sleep with (sexual orientation). In fact, Lou Sullivan (R.I.P.), an early FtM, actually pioneered this by being the first gay transman to get permission to transition even though he (she at the time) was sexually attracted to men. It's a really big deal, and now we have lots of gay transmen and lesbian transwomen, which is fantastic.
At this point in time, you have a couple of options. You can start trying to figure out whether you are cool the way you are, or if you're going to need to change your sex. Either one is fine- there are lots of non-op, non-hormone taking transsexuals, but a lot feel the need to at least have hormones and take on a male identity instead of a masculine female one. That's up to you to decide, but talking to a gender counselor is always advisable, particularly if you think you might want to transition- you'll have to be with them for a while and get a written permission to have a doctor prescribe testosterone. And if you decide it's not for you, then it's been some help, too.
I suggest looking up gay transmen online and reading up about them or talking to some. I don't know how old you are, but there's a lot of material out there about them now, and even a pornographic film depicting 'trannyf*g' sexuality, of FtM's with biological men, "Trannyf*gs" by Morty Diamond.
Whatever you do, good luck, and know that you're not alone!
2006-12-16 20:41:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My uncle used to tell me " you are the son I never had".I don't know how old you are , but I experienced those feelings from childhood into my early twenties.I feel it's very common - just not spoken of.I know how you feel .For me I finally had a boyfriend ( my only one ever!) and some wonderful girlfriends (2) who treated me like such a lady and every time i tried to hide my figure i.e. - breasts cause I hated them - they would just keep telling me how beautiful I was.I guess that did something to change me because now @ 33yrs old I love being a woman , and love my body as a woman.These feelings you have may never go away , and that's okay.That's the joy of this world god made each us so different for so many reasons!!!If you are comfortable w/ feeling like you do than that's great.If it really bothers you then maybe some counseling - w/ an open minded therapist - could be helpful.
Sorry to ramble on just wanted to tell you your feelings are normal in a lot of women.
2006-12-16 18:43:05 · answer #2 · answered by andy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The author Poppy Z. Brite once described herself as a "gay man trapped in a woman's body." I can't say how serious she was at the time about that, but it does fit what you describe.
There are people like that. Sexual attraction isn't inherently tied to gender identity; if it were, there wouldn't be gay men to begin with, they'd *all* be either straight or closet transsexuals. The 'label' is just the same as that for other 'girls' who think of themselves as boys: female to male transgender.
2006-12-16 18:33:20 · answer #3 · answered by angiekaos 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It relies upon what you propose to this lady. If she's loves you decrease back, maximum astounding feeling contained in the international, as if no longer some thing can damage her. If she's only a buddy, perchance somewhat awkward. Who is acquainted with x
2016-11-26 23:49:02 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gay transman. I've met a couple as I'm trans myself.
2006-12-16 18:34:39 · answer #5 · answered by carora13 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋