I am married with 2 kids. Husband has been violent in every way, physically , verbally and emotional abusing is now matter of daily.
Here 5 days back he slapped me twice without any serious issue between us ..My family is telling me to adjust by not talking unncessary to him. His family is of no use.
here is what i feel .I have done my best to win his heart but he is not happy in anyway. has been already involved with a lady n made me subject to physical abuse very much in those days but my family advised me to adjust n i tolerated n agagin tried to win his heart but of no use.
I am feeling very very sorry for me . I want to work but not allowed .Even if allowed then it has been long time since i worked. I am afraid going out n work.. i feel scared for my kids though they r very flexible n can stay without me .I dont want to leave my kids without me .
I will not give him dovorce at any cost. How can i find out the best way to stay in marriage with self respect.
2006-12-16 18:13:01 · 12 answers · asked by married female 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
come on women
wat do u mean by self respect to be tortured daily and being harassed by ppl ... i will go on and on till u leave him .. he is no more interested in u ...
coming to ur working take ur first step and god will give u enough courage to get wat u want ... ur a mother and in nature thats makes women most powerful as well as weak .. so know ur strength and weakness ... ur husband will not take care of ur childern .. he is busy .
at last ask ur parents abt watever they thought before getting u married to him ... flithy system of arranged marriage
be brave and all the best ... or else face more insults before ur childern and they end up being mentally effected and psychos starts developing like this ... think abt ur kids
u seems to be educated enough to use internet ans have good command over english .. u will no doubt get a good job in call centers ... be proud of urself and respect urself
all the best
2006-12-16 18:59:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First things first. Your parents are obviously from the old school where " if you made your bed , you lie in it " so to speak. That is wrong especially as your husband is abusive in every way possible. They should be supporting and helping you. You do not need to win his heart, he certainly does not deserve yours either. Ofcourse you are feeling sorry for yourself and so you should. This man has made your life a living hell and neither your parents nor his seem to give a damn !! Why will you not give him a divorce ? It may be your only way out !! If l was you l would take any option to get out of this sham of a marriage. You have tried all you can, this man will obviously never change, especially if he has the support of both of your families. You will never have self respect while you live with such a pig of a man. Take your kids and get the hell out of this abusive marriage and only then will you gain your self respect back. I wish you lots of luck.
2006-12-16 22:31:08 · answer #2 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that both families are wrong and your husband is very wrong in his actions. Also I think you are being pressured to remain in a horrible marriage. I hesitate to use that word, because to me it isn't a marriage, but barely existing.
If you don't get help and take a stand soon, you very well may find yourself in a hospital, or worse. The courts in the land will back you, and if the families can not or will not see what is happening to you, then you are much much better off with out them.
You also need to think beyond yourself and consider the children. Is this the type of life you want for them? Is this what you wanted to teach them? That hitting someone and disrespecting them is the way to solve problems and to live their lives? What a sad and sorry life it will be for them unless you PROTECT them right away, even if you don't care to protect yourself.
Whether you decide to stay or to divorce, you and your children will need counseling. I believe you should really think and think hard about all of this.
It's more than just you, your husband, or the families. It's also very very much about the children as well, and it's YOUR job to protect them from ANYONE who hurts them. And it's also your job to teach them how to live.
2006-12-16 18:41:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aren't you simply compromising with your self respect by continuing to live with the man who abuses you or even hates you? In my opinion, you should have pulled out long back. But you are possibly scared of facing the outside world on your own. You have even confessed as much. You are more content in living in the security of an abusive husband than facing the challenges of making it on your own. Its time to look at the reality. You can't have it both ways. You may compromise with your dignity by living as the wife of an abusive husband. Or you may leave him to lead a dignified life of your own. Besides the world is still full of good men and you might yet find your soul mate who might turn out to be a far better human being than your husband.
2006-12-17 17:26:00 · answer #4 · answered by Modest 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He slapped you twice!!!! I think you also have hands so what for you waiting for??? Its the real mistake on part of ladies who simply get beating & dont reply back with interest. Please all you ladies stop this nonsense come out & give a befitting reply for any such inhuman act on part of your husband . Let there be slap for slap & abuse for abuse then only such husbands understand the meaning of dignified & respectfull married life. Dont worry no one can take your kids away from you & you need not have to give divorce for such petty rifts just become bold & tell him to behave in a dignified manner otherwise he will have to face serious consequence that may be filling of criminal case under the Domestic Violence Act,2006. Just give this warning & let him come & ask in this forum what to do as he has been treatened by his wife with criminal complaint then I will give him befitting reply dont you worry!
2006-12-17 01:20:44 · answer #5 · answered by bisexualmale s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you could wait tell he kills you then at least you, your husband, friends and family will be able to say " Well at least she died with her self respect " ARE YOU KIDDING ME??
What you need to do is get your boys a get as far away from this man and apparently your family as you can. It doesn't seem to me that anyone around you (except maybe your kids) really love you, at least not enough to help you. You need to find help, get out, and get a lot of COUNSELING!!
2006-12-16 18:21:49 · answer #6 · answered by Danielle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well ur hubby & his family have been very oppressive. ur hubby obviously has no respect for u & from what u have put above it doesnt look he would change either!
your kids cant b ur excuse for putting up with him & anyways the influence your relations with ur husband will have on the kids will not b construcutive!
u have every right to take a legal recourse..but see if u can convince him to see a marriage counsellor..
& one last thing.....u get only one life...why spend it with a man who doesnt respect u? as for the work aspect...it sure is a tough ask to work after a break but NOTHING COUNTS ABOVE SELF RESPECT!
(refer ur country's laws for marital violence/harassment!)
2006-12-16 18:50:42 · answer #7 · answered by hrithik 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you are CRAZY for staying in this marriage and letting this man do this to you. Next why wont you divorce him, you know they have laws that will protect you and youre kids ffrom him. I will never understand woman who stay in an abusive realtionship life is to short to put up with this. what will youre children do if he kills you, think about that.
2006-12-16 18:22:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put your faith in God,I know you may think that your husband may never hit you to the point that he kills you,but you need to reconsider that thouht.Also think about your kids.If you have a daughter you are teaching her that this is acceptable behavior from a man,and that we as women are supposed to be treated this way.If you have a son you are teaching him that this is acceptable behavior.That this is the way he is supposed to treat women. Love yourself enough to see that this is not acceptable from anyone,husband or not! Happy Holidays!
2006-12-16 18:28:57 · answer #9 · answered by fnocentelli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
specific, I do - and so do various females i understand. life is extra handy and not making use of a guy appropriate to the abode, it is not so high priced and is no longer full of his calls for, and we are in a position to pay others to do the heavy artwork. we are in a position to do in simple terms as we like as quickly as we get away. Being married or with a miles spouse in the event that they cushion our lives, they say issues like:"I pay so I say"! suitable buster.
2016-10-15 02:41:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋