how can i stop getting angry?

Question

pls help

Answer 1

Anger is a normal human reaction. It depends on what you are getting angry about. Some people may express anger about others when deep down, they are angry at themselves.

If you want to stop getting angry, you'll have to somehow erase that emotion. Nothing is wrong with anger, it's how you express it that may be a problem. Why you get angry may be a problem. Attacking the root causes may elleviate your undesired response to the cause.

Answer 2

There are a lot of different methods............ some work for some, some work for others.

This is my method;
Whatever happens, if it gets me angry, I begin taking the event apart and examining it. I'm already angry, so this involves some self-motivation to begin with I suppose.

I try to see how it happened in the first place, so maybe I can prevent it from happening again. At the very least, I can probably say with accuracy what DID happen.

If it is someone else's actions that has caused it, I hopefully can figure out why this LEMMING did it in the first place.

Answer 3

Using Christian morality. Anger is normal, it tell you something. Figure out what it is. Are you frustrated? Should you try it another way? Then what? If you become enraged, however, you have crossed the line. Consider, how, in your mind you have desired the destruction of whatever the object of your rage is. Rage is like unto murder or destruction. Do you really want to destroy your paper or you business, or murder your friend or neighbor?

Contemplate the morality of the situation.

Answer 4

Most things people get angry about are trivial, Just stop and think about what triggered your anger, and most of the time it's really does'nt amount to anything.

Answer 5

if you are under a lot of stress, it is probably making you irritable and thus get angry at the smallest thing. your personality may have something to do with it as well. if you are the type of person who takes everything seriously and you feel a strong sense of responsibility, you yourself may be placing unnecessary stress on yourself. using breathing techniques can help you to relax.

Answer 6

you don't want to stop getting angry. If you get angry, which is a secondary emotion to protect the ego, and you dont express teh anger, it becomes a terciary emotion. This terciary emotion is usually depression. don't let it get to depresion. try to express your anger somehow.

Answer 7

I can understand your problem..... i too get angry sometime..... but when i gets cool i feels sorry about it..... now i a bright idea..... whenever i gets angry i always try to remember a joke which makes me laugh out loud...... then automatically we gets cool..... otherwise a best solution is to mave away from the place which makes you angry......... O.K best of luck!

Answer 8

anger management.. or maybe you should work out what makes you angry and avoid those situations..little amounts of anger are normal maybe you are stressed?

Answer 9

"Getting angry" can mean different things.

It could mean losing your temper. It could mean getting angry "on the inside" easily but not showing it. It could just kind of living angry all the time. It could mean getting angry over little things one shouldn't get angry over; or it could mean being angry at "legitmate" things but having so many of those "legitimate" things going on so often one can feel angry more than he/she should.

First, there is the chance that your getting angry may not be your fault. Not long ago I read about how babies have their brain connections made in the first few years of life. If the right brain connections are not formed the child's brain develops the "wrong" connections. This can lead to a person's "over-responding" or "inappropriately responding" to things (such as stress). If your situation is extreme enough, and if this could be your problem, only a doctor would know you can deal with it.

If you lose your temper rather than control it when you get angry (unless you have a disorder such as the one above) I think you just have to decide that you will never let yourself lose control again. I've found that the thing about anger is if you "give it air" rather than "smother it" when it first shows up it just gets worse. Some people would call that "bottling it up", but I've found it can be more like smothering the anger (much as people would smother a fire).

You have to think about the lack of dignity involved in losing control of one's emotions. You have to remember that nobody deserves to take abuse or witness outbursts (particularly when they come too often and over small things). You have to tell yourself that nothing in this life is worth getting all upset over.

One thing I think is helpful is to always remember that the people in our families and those who are otherwise close to us are the people who most deserve peace and pleasantness from us. A lot of people are very nice to people outside, but they're crummy to the people they are close to.

People get angry, too, because they don't bother to try to understand others (whether that's others' point of views, reasoning, motivations, experiences or needs). It is easy to get angry and harder to understand. If people try to understand others more they will find it much harder to get angry when others do or say something they don't like.

There are things that are legitimate reasons for anger (someone hurts a child, someone does something bad to someone elderly, someone drives like a maniac and risks others' lives, someone is bad to animals, someone takes what it ours, or any number of other sources of legitimate anger). This anger, though, isn't usually the kind that causes problems or seem inappropriate. The inappropriate and unreasonable kind is getting angry because our meal at a restaurant is cold and making a big deal about it.

You have to sort out in your mind what kind of anger is the "legitimate" kind (which is often the kind that makes people take up causes and do something positive or at least it can make them feel their anger is right, while not being angry at whatever it is would be very apathetic, wrong and unjust) and what is the stupid kind that isn't worth it "in the grand scheme" - somebody cuts you off in the car, somebody is in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store, someone in your house leaves his socks on the stairs, some neighbor's dog barks, etc.

Once you sort out the few reasons for legitimate anger (again, legitimate anger isn't the kind that causes "fuses to blow", and it usually isn't the kind that causes long-term rises in blood pressure), and once you realize that you can "file away for later use" any legitimate anger, all you'll be looking at will be the stupid reasons for anger. Depending on your living circumstances, there's the chance you'll have some anger that isn't stupid at all but that is also not worth stewing over all the time (a husband who doesn't help with the Christmas decorations, a son or daughter who lets his/her bedroom be a mess, a mother-in-law who feels free to put her two cents in on everything). If you have this type of anger you need to address it - if only to yourself.

If someone you live with or work with keeps doing something that is really irking you talk to them if possible. See if they'll do something a little differently. If they won't then you need to realize you have a right to be angry but refuse to let whoever it is take more from you than he/she already has. Decide that such a person (one who won't try to work with you or even one who has a good reason for whatever it is he/she is doing) may irk you at times, but you will not stew over it and that person will not "get to you".

Ideally, some sources of this type of anger can be reduced or eliminated. Not all can be, though; so this is the type of anger you need to put in perspective and decide to control rather than allow it control you.

Having addressed the more serious sources of anger above, you'd be left with only the stupid things that make you angry. This is where "life is too short" comes in. This is also where trying to understand comes in. If necessary, think of someone you know of have heard of with some horrible, horrible, tragedy in life; and remind yourself how unimportant this stupid little anger-producing thing is.

Decide to try to be the "better person" or a person who is so composed and in control and even intelligent that this minor foolishness that would have angered you at one time is not something you will spend your precious mental/emotional energy on any longer.

Getting angry can also come when a person has put up with something that has bothered him for a long, long, time. It can get to a point where that person reaches a toleration point and just can't deal with whatever that thing is any longer. A fuse blows and will probably always blow whenever the person runs into this one particular thing from now on. Ask yourself if this could be a r eason you get angry, and try to address what bothers you with any people involved.

People also get angry more easily when they are unhappy and tired and stressed out. If this could be your problem try to make time every day (maybe for an hour or so before bed time) to put on some calming aroma therapy (potpourri or any scent that makes you feel really good will do - you don't need "official" aroma therapy) and listening to some music that makes you feel uplifting (but not rock music if that's what you usually like - find some other kind of music that makes you feel calmer or uplifted or even moved).

People with giant egos can get angry easily when the world doesn't treat them in ways that they would see as appropriate, considering how important they see themselves and their needs and wants as. People who are insecure about getting respect can be super-sensitive about respect and see all kinds of minor things as signs of lack of respect (when, really, the person who did the thing and/or the thing, itself, had nothing to do with lack of respect at all). Sometimes people who worry that others are trying to control them (even when others may not be) get angry at everything because everything seems, to them, to be someone's attempt to control or manipulate them. Sometimes people who are very unhappy and need help badly get angry when the continue to feel nobody is helping them.

Sometimes people get angry because they think the worst of others. Sometimes that's because they, themselves, are a little nasty and assume others are as well. Sometimes its because they don't trust others to be decent or assume others are criticizing them. I know someone who gets kind of offended at the question, "Anything new?" (which I intend just as normal conversation and nothing else) because this person assumes I'm hoping to hear that he has gotten the kind of job I'd like him to have! The reality is I don't care what kind of job he has, but he assumes I do. Then he gets angry if I make the mistake of asking, "Anything new?".

Try to assume that people are not being critical of you, not being envious, not trying to control you, not trying to insult you, and not trying to show disrespect to you when they do things you don't like. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Sure - once in a while some person has rotten motives, but its better to generally assume people's motives are "innocent" than to across-the-board think everyone who does or says something is subtly "attacking" you in some way.

The more you understand about other people's points of views or about human nature, the less likely you'll get angry over some things. If you're someone who has trouble understanding others or seeing things through their eyes consider seeing a counselor and telling that counselor you would like someone to help you get a more appropriate/realistic view of how people are in general.

Some people kind of like to be angry because they have come to believe that people who control their anger must be "passive" or otherwise too dimwitted to be angry over things. Sometimes people who are intelligent get sick of living in a world where it can seem so many people do so many stupid things. In this case, a person must overlook a lot of what looks stupid to them and just remember to be grateful they are more fortunate in the intelligence department. When it comes to any ingrained belief that people who don't appear angry must be passive and stupid and easy-going people need to realize that very strong, intelligent, people often refuse to allow some things to get to them because they feel "above it"; and if something does manage to get to them they like the feeling of supreme control over their own emotions and don't show the anger.

Envy can make anger. If envy could be your problem that is an issue that needs to be addressed separately.

I don't know if it is possible for anyone on here to help someone stop getting angry, but I thought I'd offer some thoughts about anger so you can try to identify your type(s) of anger and maybe address them with some perspective.