What would you do. I am devastated after having several miscarriages, and problems carrying children my spouse and I spoke about adoption in which he said he does not think he could be a good father to a child that was not his. I was hurt but respected his honesty, however since then I am wondering about our relationship and don't know how to feel.
2006-12-16 16:01:44 · 10 answers · asked by Val 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have you thought about surrogate parenting? He could donate the sperm to a woman who could carry the child for you. He wouldn't have to have sex with her, the doctor's would implant the sperm in her, she would incubate the baby, then give it to you. That way he would be the natural father. It's expensive, but it IS an alternative. Be glad that he trusts you enough to be honest rather than just going along with it because you wanted it. Some men are just not capable of "attaching" to someone else's child. However - if it were my situation - I'd want to know how he would have treated a child I may have had before I married him.
2006-12-16 16:12:17 · answer #1 · answered by nana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want a child, then tell him how you feel. Tell him that you were hurt that he said that, and seriously want to have a child, and that you are ready to adopt since it appears that that is what must be done for you to have a son or daughter.
Tell him that you plan on getting a baby. This can really help, because the baby will always remember you as parents, and not anyone else. Being able to get someone locally and be there for the birth would also be a nice thing to do.
Whatever happens, keep open the lines of communication. The fact that you are questioning your relationship isn't good, and you need to tell him about that.
Good luck!
2006-12-17 00:09:39 · answer #2 · answered by Bored. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's the most devasting news a woman can get; that she can't have children. It's like a woman's MADE to have children and to not experience that, it really hurts. My daughter's only 22 and can't have any children. It's very heart-breaking, but think of all the love both of you could give to a child that needs loving parents? Everyone feels they aren't the best father or mother, but feelings change. Don't force the issue, though. Hopefully, down the line, his feelings will change.
2006-12-17 00:08:35 · answer #3 · answered by Nancy D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I might understand how terrible this situation sounds for you. I understand, thought, that you seem to have a great interest in children. What your husband feels has been felt by various fathers in this world before they reeived a child from an adoption agency. If your husband can see this, then maybe he'll agree to adopt a kid with you. Also, he should be sensitive enough to understand how much you feel about children.
2006-12-17 00:16:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know a married doctor that has this problem with his wife and i think when a woman is told she can't concieve and invitro is a disaster, it ***** things up. he talks to me instead of her but recently i convinced them that adoption may be a good idea, both were pleased then now their acting like selfish spoiled little children. grab the adoption thing while you can--im adopted- and my mama was so happy she got me after she lost her first child naturally she didn't care! adoption carries age requirements and if this is what your heart says than do it! who the hell is gonna let a man decide a woman's fate with children anyway? !!!!take it cause you only live ONCE!
2006-12-17 00:51:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my first wife had 5 mis carriages, had 5 children, trouble with adopting a kid is you never know the mental history of the kid or their parents, kid could be a crack baby,, herion baby,, the adoption agencies all lie about that stuff, and you are stuck with this kid with all kinds of medical problems,
keep trying,,,
2006-12-17 00:11:15 · answer #6 · answered by rich2481 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to him about in vitro? sometimes is really hard to father a child that is not yours but as long as you try to convince him and achieve it, he won't notice the difference
2006-12-17 00:05:21 · answer #7 · answered by vespertine•[Øblivion] 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him about adopting a new born baby.he will fall in love and treat the baby as his own.
2006-12-17 00:07:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the second person
2006-12-17 00:06:22 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
there are some medical methods as well
2006-12-17 00:07:37 · answer #10 · answered by rostov 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋