Mother of going on 2....should I leave him??

Question

Me and my husband used 2 b best of friends until the responsibilities of being a parent came along We have a butiful 2 yr old who is really atchd to both of us I am 37 wks preg have had to go to the ER 4x in the past four weeks He didnt call me, go with me or ask what happend Alot of the reason I had to go in is because of stress and strain I had to be on bedrest for like 3 weeks just bairly able to get out of bed today. He has to do evrythng arnd the house n at first wldnt, until I bitched and bitched about it asking him to leave otherwise now he does it but acts stupid his job is seasonal so he's out. I try to be affectionate with him, but he ignores me, walks awy, and just stays awy I get really emotional over this and have stayed w family bc the stress is overwhelming but then my son cries for his daddy I tried talking to him, he acts like a mute until I get frustrated and burst into tears and let it all out bitchng he sys if he wntd to leave he would Y does he stay if we r unhappy

Answer 1

Sound like you are both under alot of stress and big changes in your relationship . Some times its hard for us guys we feel over welmed with having to do it all ..Its change and we dont like change . My wife is currtently 7 months preg also though i try to be supportive ,Its tough we as men dont always know how to deal with the emotional ups and downs a preg women goes through


we always want to fix it but after a while we shut down and tune out because we no long know how to make yall feel better .Its emotionally draining for us too . IM sure your husband loves you after things get back too normal im sure you will see a differnce .
Good luck and dont give up on each other stress full times are what test us but also make us stronger . Good luck with your baby

Answer 2

He is staying because he thinks that when you get through the pregnancy and are not so hormonal, you will get rational again and things will be better. He loves his kids (and probably you) and doesn't want a divorce. I think you should tell your doctor you are having a hard time keeping your emotions in check (some men cannot deal with crying and emotions well...that doesn't mean he doesn't care...but it upsets him). I think you should try to calm down and be as rational as you can be because you have a two year old. Your husband is exhausted from doing eveyrthing while you are on bedrest. I think you will be able t talk things over in a few weeks and find a way to save your marriage. You should both try very hard to do this since you have two children to consider. Good luck!

Answer 3

I would try to get counseling first. Since his job is seasonal it may be the strain of having additional financial needs arising that he can not meet the demands of. The thought of having another mouth to feed when he barely has enough for the three of you already may be too much for him to handle right now. My ex went through the whole having a baby is too much to handle and we are now seperated with no possibility of getting back together. He does see his son but not very often. If things could have been different then my son would have a full time dad. Right now he has two mom's (me and my sister) and a part time dad. He is ok with it but this is how it has been since before he was born basically. He doesn't know the difference. If you can work things out through counseling it will be the best thing for all of you. I wish you all the best and hope you two are able to resolve the issues he has but if he is not willing to resolve them don't keep putting yourself through this stress while your pregnant. I almost lost my presious child because of stress during my pregnancy. He is two years old today and I can not imagine living my life with out him. Our children is our greatest accomplishment always. Even if a parent does not think so. Our children carry on our heritage and hopefully will do great things for all of man kind.

Answer 4

Relax Vanessa! youre just very stressed out right now...it isnt good for you or your baby, so try to stay calm and wait until you dont have so much on your plate before you start thinking about making such a serious decision. Dont forget, divorce rips families apart! I doubt you really want that. ANd cut your hubby some slack, he is under a lot of stress being out of work with a pregnant wife...and it does sound like youre kind of nagging him, which is probably just making him feel worse about himself.

-Think before you act or speak....think of how it makes him feel. he isnt giving you the attention you want (or deserve) right now, but what youre doing is only making him give you negative attention, and he will eventually resent you for it.

-Im not saying to be submissive or obedient, im just saying treat him how you would want to be treated...would you want someone yelling at you all day long (even if you deserved it)? probably not. Do things to build your relationship...not rip it down!

Answer 5

I am sorry things are so tough on you guys right now.....you are both under a lot of stress.....and it sounds like he is having a hard time dealing with all the responsibility......Having kids is no walk in the park.....Hopefully he will snap out of his funk and grow up quickly and step up to the plate for his family......Lots of men are just not worth a damn with womens feelings......and being pregnant is such an emotional time ......they tend to try and "check out" when the emoting starts......I hope things get better for you'all......I am sure he still loves you a lot, but is having some conflicting feelings about more responsibility than ever very soon....Good Luck and I hope he snaps out of his funk and begins to be the husband and father that your family needs.

Answer 6

Ask yourself, do you really love him, can you support yourself and the children once split, how will it effect your kids, is he worth another second?

You can take this four ways:

1. Get him back hard by making his life miserable. (ex. ruining his dates, embarrassing him at work, Ext.)

2. Stay with him and work through it or save up money for a while then split.

3. Split and don't give him the time of day.

4. Give him a taste of his own medicine by showing him what he does to you.

Answer 7

Can you spell hormones boys and girls? Yours are getting the most of you! Just stick it out and all this will seem trivial in a month or so. You will also be able to make better decisions after the child is born. If you still feel he is being a bonafide dirtbag, then do something about it then, and write to me telling me thanks allot you jerk for giving me horrible advice!

Answer 8

there are a number of females that don't take motherhood heavily, they think of its some style of sport and whilst they are drained they go away their playthings at the back of, in spite of if it occurs to be human beings like babies. many situations they are on drugs or alcohol and their techniques is all knotted up they are in a position to't % the incorrect the are doing they are in simple terms out to get their next drink their next restoration. Its no longer ordinary to conceive in case you on no account been there, even once you watch a tutor on television exhibiting what it does you are able to in simple terms shake your head and sweetness.

Answer 9

hes not responding? hes stressing you?you gotta let go.its hard but if you want whats best for yourself and your children you need to do this. i was in the same scenario but i continued to stay for all the wrong reasons. stress from him and evrything he took me through got the best of me and almost took my life(through depression)but for the love i have for my kids im still here. i have to take anxiety meds for the rest of my life. life is still not quite the same. please take heed to my words. after 11 yrs. with that ******* i finally had it. i let go for my kids sake. our unstable household was taking a toll on the children in many ways. dont let it get this bad. im one month stress free of this man and it feels so good. my life with kids is finally coming together. its the best step i've taken in a long time.

Answer 10

i guess your suffering in pre and post natal deppresion..because thats what happent to me when i had my second baby...i feel nobody cares for me and so irritated...after i gave birth still have deppression...its took two yrs before i recover..all you have to do is be strong and prayers is so powerful..a lot of friends advice me to go in a psychiatric or psychologist i went there but they just will give you anti deppresant..i didnt take it..all i did was im thinking that is all just in mind...and now im ok..just be strong and pray always.god is the medicine above all else.believe me it happend to me...take care of your kids and goodluck.