How do you avoid comparing your life to others?

Question

I tend to compare my life to other's lives and feel really bad at the state of my life. I feel that somehow there is something wrong with me.

My marriage did not work, my child lives with my ex in another state and misses me. I am dealing with custody issues with my ex.

I feel envious of another girl at work who is happily married, has two children, is a great mother/ person and is well respected at work. I look at her and then feel really bad about myself.

How can I boost my self-esteem and not feel bad about myself?

Answer 1

Quit taking everyone else inventory ... just worry about yours! Make a list and what you do not like then work on changing it one day at a time and one thing at a time!

Answer 2

That's a good question. The grass on the other side always seems to look greener than the grass on our side--- at least from the outside. But it's entirely possible that this person who you think has such a great life, has issues of her own. I understand how you feel. It's so easy to compare ourselves to others and imagine that they have it so much better, but if you got a closer look, you might find that all that glitters is not gold.

How can you boost your self-esteem? If you haven't already, find something that you are good at, or that you think you'd enjoy---a hobby, painting, writing, sewing, arts and crafts, or something as simple as keeping a journal. The more interests you have, the more well-rounded you will be. If you have a hobby---like doing watercolors, and you paint some nice pictures, that's something you can feel good about. And remember things could always be worse. Make a list of all the things you have to be thankful for. Make a list of things you like about yourself. Try to make the most of what you've got. Maybe experiment with makeup and a new hairstyle or walk for a half hour each day. I hope this helped some. Good luck and Merry Christmas.

Answer 3

If God wanted you to be someone else He would have done that. You are exactly who you are suppose to be. Ask God to show you His plan and then shut up long enough to listen. The people you feel envious of is only because you are only seeing the possitive in their lives. Trust me they have as much baggage, if not more, than you they are just better at hiding it. Be the best parent you can be from a distance for now. Deal with your ex with the utmost respect for the sake of your child. Take the high road. It is there where you will find your self esteem.

Answer 4

I used to compare my life to others too until I realized that just because I thought some people had happier lives didn't mean that was necessarily true. Some people just put on a happier front, and if you dig a little deeper you find that they have problems and issues too!

I agree with the poster who said that you should exercise. I think it does a world of wonders for the psyche. I definitely feel much better about myself when I am exercising, eating right, and getting plenty of rest. Plus, I have more energy to change the things in my life that aren't working as well.

Answer 5

Exercise.

I'm dead serious--exercise. The more depressed you feel, the more likely you are to sit on the sofa eating a lot of food and watching soap operas. Instead of whining about how much your life sucks and comparing it to others, do something about it!

Go out and start to get those endorphines going.

Go out and change your hair style, get a new job, start a rock climbing club. Do things that challenge who you are.

It's far too easy to get stuck comparing ourselves to others. Guess what? Everyone has problems! No marriage is perfect, just as no one is perfect. Once you get out of the mindset that this is a competition, you're going to find that you can love yourself and others around more!

Answer 6

there's a sturdy exercising it extremely is writing down each and every area you're grateful for. each and every tiny element you may imagine of. in case you meditate, that is a sturdy area of meditate on. comparing to others will make you struggle through -as you're finding out. it could be that you're indignant about some thing on your lifestyles. in case you may perceive some thing you opt for to modify, then concentration on that in a surprising way - set a plan with some aims - and do not concentration on the jealousy or evaluation. So, if it truly is more beneficial funds you opt for you may imagine about getting a funds coach. yet keep being grateful for what you do have - its' that type of wondering and body of ideas which will make you satisfied, no longer the hot belongings you may get.

Answer 7

Well, should you feel good about yourself? What did you do to stop your divorce? Why did you not get custody of your kids? Why are you not respected at work? Girl, there are allot of reasons we need to repair and boost our self esteem. But, there are times we need to look at ourselves and decide WE need to make some changes, We need to make a stand, We need to stop looking for a backdoor to approval. There comes a time that we can say that this is the lowest point I'm going to allow myself to reach! Time to start back up the ladder. Forget the past and work, really work, toward the future!!! Work on character, work on personality, work on wisdom, work on relationships! You can't love yourself if you don't respect yourself. You can't respect yourself if you are not a respectable person! Love is work. It's a verb which means action! Put some action to your request! Give yourself a reason to love yourself.

Answer 8

things always look greener on the other side and you wish you could be there .. but remember once you get to the other side it's really not the other side anymore...
what I'm saying is that everyone has problems it's not that there life is any better but they have ways of dealing with the problems that face them...
stop thinking about others and do what makes you happy and feel good.. life is to short to be unhappy

Answer 9

No one is perfect! Especialy the ones we see as "perfect". Everyone is different with different circumstances and lifestyles so I say how can you compare yourself to someone whos life is not like yours? The rite way for you is for you! And what is rite for one person might not be rite for the next person. Its like comparing apples and oranges, dont you think?

Answer 10

Never compare your life to anyone else's. Everyone has problems whether they talk about it or not. As for your co worker, no one stays happy and has good things happen to them all of their life.