I plan on becoming a poet and i wrote a really sweet poem- do u like it?

Question

Moonlit walks on the beach,
you know things like that can't be beat.
Going barefoot through the sand,
Walking together, hand in hand.



Then he looks at you and smiles,
and it was obviously love from miles and miles.
He goes in him pocket, pulls out a necklace locket,
and you start to cry as you gaze upon it.



For inside is a picture of 2-
him.. with his arm round you.
The picture starts to blur but it's just a tear,
you'll always hold that locket near.


Then he turns and walks away,
and you've just had the most perfect day.
But then you wake in the morning at two,
and realize it was too good to be true.

Answer 1

that is really cool you are a good poet. I wrote a poem once but i didn't like it that much.
You re the next great poet

You ARE VERY GOOD AT THIS

Answer 2

Very cute, exept for a couple of grammer mistakes. Beat in the first stanza offsets the mood, and the second walking could be removed. I don't advise ending the second stanza on it. Otherwise pretty good, just need to practise. Some guidelines are...

1) You can break the rules, if the line sounds better without a then or the, go for it.

2) The shape, caps, and rythme all matter.

3) When starting out, write about what you know. I write about my friends and familly, seasons, the beach, holidays, ect. Poems are best on a subject than telling a story.

A poet you may want to read is Robert Frost. Practice and you will get better!

Answer 3

It's a very sweet poem, but a little bit too literal for my taste. It actually sounds like one of those anonymous e-mails that gets circulated. Which isn't to say it's not good (if people didn't like poems like this, we wouldn't get them in our inboxes two or three times every week). Perhaps short prose would offer you the freedom to give your creativity more depth.

Answer 4

As a poet myself, it is sweet, but seems a tadbit cliche.

I am personally put back a bit by the rhyming, rhymign shoudl never be mandatory and should just smooth. It feels as though you worked too hard to make the lines rhyme.

Answer 5

I'm going to have to call it trite. Sorry. However, you should not quit writing. Lord knows I've written more than my share of bad poems.

Not much in your poem is new or interesting. Try using words, expressions and ideas not often used. Trust me, a thesarus is your friend.

Answer 6

You already are a poet. Just not a published poet. I did enjoy reading your poem . . . visual and emotion can be sensed in the words.

Answer 7

i loved it, but remember that poets don't really make a good leaving and are not taken serious. however keep it up for friends and love ones. YOU ROCK!

Answer 8

I love this poem it is the best I have ever heard. I LOVE IT. Better then Robert Frost or anyone else.

Answer 9

I liked it but it seemed kind of short.

Answer 10

cute