One has come to our town and effectively decimated half the houses on my street. People are screaming for their children, dogs are racing away in packs, and the cops are calling for back-up!
2006-12-16 14:18:28 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Fruitcakes are an alien race from the planet Ekactiurf. For centuries now the fruitcakes with red dye #5 have been fighting religious battles against the fruitcakes with yellow dye #7... something to do with whether or not they believe in The Great Raisin. The fruitcakes want to kill one another over this matter, but in their innocence (and thanks to the preservatives) they can't figure out how. They heard that humans are famous for killing, so religious zealots from both sides have come to earth on suicide missions in order to figure out exactly how to kill their respective godless enemy fruitcakes. If a fruitcake ever sees a knife, the secret will be out and they will go about their warfare and leave us alone. But of course, their plan is failing because no human has ever actually cut into one of them. Instead they travel from family to family, usually still wrapped, and eventually wind up in the city dump.
Sounds like the one in your neighborhood has just figured this out and his ego is hurt.
2006-12-16 19:07:01 · answer #1 · answered by sueflower 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Flibble Family Christmas Pudding Recipe
1 cup water
1 cup of sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
lemon juice
nuts
1 gallon of brandy
Sample the brandy to check for quality.
Take a large bowl.
Check the brandy again to be sure it is
of the highest quality.
Pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter
in a large, fluffy bowl.
Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.
Make sure the brandy is still OK.
Cry another tup. Turn off mixer.
Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck
in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers,
pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the brandy to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something, Who cares.
Check the brandy
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Throw the bowl out of the window.
Check the brandy again.
Go to bed.
Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?
Borrowed from Mr. Flibble Pollendusts family recipes. Want to have some real fun??? Run it through spell checker!! My machine is SMOKIN!! LOL.
Peace.
2006-12-17 00:29:33 · answer #2 · answered by -Tequila17 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
convinced, convinced, i recognize fruitcake, my mom makes the perfect. I keep in ideas answering fruitcake questions, it skill the twelve months has slipped away again, that is too quickly for this, shall we no longer commence with Christmas questions yet, i think panic creeping in.
2016-11-26 23:27:35 · answer #3 · answered by hellyer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel you. I don't get the appeal of the whole fruit cake thing. Any pastry is ruined when you add any kind of fruit, especially raisins.
2006-12-16 14:21:21 · answer #4 · answered by martin h 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A paramecium
2006-12-16 14:28:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
thats just the first wave of the attacks. the second wave starts tomarrow at dawn. me and the manatees will begin our wrath
2006-12-16 14:21:42 · answer #6 · answered by manatee_love 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just had a good one that was so soaked with whiskey I did not notice how horrible it was
2006-12-16 14:43:04 · answer #7 · answered by copestir 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no its a cake that some people enjoy
2006-12-17 01:21:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LMFAO!!
I vote for the horrific genetic mutation.
Thanks for the laugh tho. :P
2006-12-16 14:21:20 · answer #9 · answered by ♫ Insane_Princess ♪ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
none of the above, so just eat it
2006-12-16 14:24:36 · answer #10 · answered by Sam E 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋