My husband is constantly going out every other night to different bars, we have a child so I end up home when he is out. He asks me for money to go out with and "promises" he will contribute to bills/household when he gets paid and he never does. He might pay A bill but just wants to play all the time! He won't get it or grow up! Advise?
2006-12-16 14:06:21 · 26 answers · asked by Samantha 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get a babysitter. Follow him. Show up at the bars he goes to. Make a little scene. Don't leave until he does. I did that a couple of times and the bar thing stopped.
2006-12-16 14:12:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Begin by setting up a buget and have him take part in the bugetting process. One day per week you should have FREE to go out with him. This will take a sitter and a little extra money for whatever you are going to do. He needs to know that IF this is a family that he needs to be a family man. GOD should be a part of your marriage, if HE is not then these things happen. Satan has a hold on him and will not let go unless you get in on the process. Begin reading and studying the BIBLE with a non-denominational group of Christians. Your husband should go also. The BARS are not for married men and women. They are not for young people. They are not for middle-aged people. They are not where you want him to be! If he wants a nite out then he should be willing to pay for his end of the bills. My wife and I share everything that we own. ALL MONEY goes in one account. She and I have been married over 30 years and she has never had to worry about my being with other women or men when I am not working. She and our children are my life outside of Church. I am a real Christian. I believe that with GOD in your lives he won't want to go anywhere away from you and church. Have a great holiday!
Eds
2006-12-16 22:24:14 · answer #2 · answered by Eds 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I guess you need to figure out what is most important to you. A drunken absent father and husband. As long as he is home sometimes. Or a house that is a home where you are paying all of the bills and not having the issue of worrying about him not coming home or coming home drunk or not paying the bills. Sounds as though your husband has a drinking problem. You have to decide what is best for you to do and what is best for the child. Keep in mind, one can do bad all by themselves, you don't need company to be unhappy and miserable. Good luck and God bless****
2006-12-16 22:10:38 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you know this is a problem and you have just about had as much as you can take. Scared of living alone are you?
Next time he ask for money to go out give it to him plus an extra 20 and tell him to find a cheap hotel because he no longer has a place to call home with a wife.
Tell him how its going to be and stick with it. Happy-Holiday's
2006-12-16 23:44:49 · answer #4 · answered by canuticklemepink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like this guy is using you. How long have you too been married... and did you guys rush into marriage for any reason. That may be it.
It could also be an affair... it sounds cruel to say but hey, it happens more than not sadly. If you really don't receive any help nor emotional support from this guy talk to him. Let him know how you feel. Counceling might help. If all else fails, leave the guy.
2006-12-16 22:28:49 · answer #5 · answered by melloncollieromance 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are enabling your husband's behavior. Do not give him anymore of your money to go out and party. If he asks why not, tell him because one of you has to be responsible and take care of the household. Start making promises to him about what he might get in the bedroom and then not do it. See how he likes having promises made to him broken. That might change his fframe of thinking faster than anything.
2006-12-16 22:11:57 · answer #6 · answered by Meesh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now that there is a child involved, there is no easy answer. You might try getting his attention with a trial seperation. Maybe when he sees what it will REALLY COST him....
he will beg you (and child) to come back.
Only come back under the condition that you both seek a marriage counselation to help him
overcome his need to go out drinking every other night. Good Luck.
2006-12-16 22:11:37 · answer #7 · answered by John P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A husband is to provide for his family. When you aid him, you help him be a bad husband and father. Tell him you need him to step up to the plate. Don't bother him or push him. Just tell him how it is and that you will not aid this kind of behavior and maybe he should live on his own for awhile and actually support himself. When he is ready and is showing you he can act like a man, he can come back. It is very important not to become a nagging wife . It will push him farther away!!! Remember that if it comes to him leaving for awhile.
2006-12-16 22:15:03 · answer #8 · answered by Peggy Pirate 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as you may want some people to change their behavior, they will not. If with a child he is not taking his responsibilities to the family seriously, it is probably safe to say that no matter what you do, he will not change. You need to either accept who he is or think of other possible scenario. The child's interest always has to come before your own or anyone esle. Wish you well
2006-12-16 22:12:39 · answer #9 · answered by Denny Crane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure that you could do so much better...I hope he realizes this. Make sure that he is "behaving" when he goes out. You should not give him anything to go out with. He should be home with you and the little one. If he wants to go out, it can be on his own dime. When all else fails, just keep in mind that in the long run, that little one will have lots of respect 4 u and none 4 him.
Love that baby...he/she is your contribution 2 the world...nothing else matters.
2006-12-16 22:12:36 · answer #10 · answered by Ladysmith 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋