Married 21 yrs, she says that the sexual side of her affair is a lead on to get my attention. He has sent her video of him mastubating and they continues to im each other.
2006-12-16 13:23:22 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
21yrs of staying together..wow well it can get things monotonous...when it comes to sex life....i think its just that she entertaining herself...& its good she aint doing that behind ur back..so if she told u wat she upto...why dont u take it as an opurtunity to pep up things in real...hold her & tell her how bout doing that for real ....get that romance alive...she told u indirectly wat she wants..its up to u how u gonna take it & make up to her...time to get dirty baby....no harm ....& well wat she doing is at safe distance...well u better make amendments & satisfy her ...will do real good to both..go slow & steady....& well u could do the same wat she doing online to pep up things ....talk, share & then u two enjoy the reality...these kinda of innovative stimulation not bad at all...comeon wouldnt hav said this if u were newly married...u guys hav been together for 21 yrrs....u gotta move to th next level of understanding & maturity with her....its just like watching triple X movies...better move closer to her..else she gonna drift away...
best wishes
2006-12-16 14:06:51 · answer #1 · answered by madness 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hmm.......It is a big deal. I would definately make an attempt to stop her activities, by letting her know how hurtful it is to you. If she cares at all about you and the 21 yrs you have shared she will listen. I don't know what all is going on in your marriage, but it seems someone somewhere has not been paying attention. This should have never gotten this far out of hand. She does need to stop. If she still wants to be married to you. She is disrespecting you big time.Her affair is not for your attention. I can think of a hundred other ways she could have gotten your attention. This is flat out cheating. It is a Big Deal! Don't let her convience you any different. If you want to save your marriage, tell her she needs to stop, or she needs to go be with Mr Cyber. Shes will be the loser if she leaves you. Good Luck
2006-12-16 14:06:26 · answer #2 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How is your and your wife's sex life? How is your physical appearance. Slim/fat? in shape, out of shape. Are you letting work be a larger part of your life? Do you not play with each other, anytime anywhere? A wife is not just an inanimate object. She needs to know if you care or not.
If you are doing all you can, and do love and care for this woman, then I would tell you, to see a marriage counselor. If this does not work out, then you should find another lady.
You must take time to play with each other. Don't and I repeat, don't take her for granted.
My first wife of 37 years died of cancer. We took time to play. We never had an argument, just enjoyed each other. Raised two boys, and then really enjoyed each other and the world together. Work can engulf you if you allow it. Do you have children, and have they left home? If so, with her, it could be the "empty nest" syndrome.
If she is truly trying to get your attention. Tell her she now has it. Take the time and let her know it. OK? I hope well for you both. An household in turmoil is not good. It should be a place of peace. Where you both get your wounds healed.
Yours,
The Hisemiester
2006-12-16 13:39:42 · answer #3 · answered by hisemiester 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well the fact that she is letting this cyber friend of hers send her sexual content is a disrespect to your marriage. If she has online friends it seems harmless but if he is sending her videos of him mastubating, then it's gone too far. You should try talking to your wife in a civil manner especially if you guys have been married for 21yrs and find out what is going on. If she wants some spice in your sex life then you guys can work on that. If it was me I'd be mad that she's taken it that far to the point of porn materials from the man. But talk to her or find out what is going on with her.
Sorry this is happening to you.
2006-12-16 13:38:55 · answer #4 · answered by africangirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It IS a big deal particularly if it is to you. The fact that she would look "live" at another man masturbating (by herself) is not a good sign. While I do not understand the idea of her doing this I would question the reasons behind this. Does she have a problem with your sex life? Or does she have self esteem issues? If its a big deal to you the two of you need to work out this issue so that it doesn't bring up much larger divisive issues in your marriage. It may mean nothing, but. . .
2006-12-16 13:40:50 · answer #5 · answered by snddupree 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is a big deal. It's like they are both cheating with each other,, but safely from behind their keyboards without leaving the house.
There is trouble in the relationship or she wouldn't feel the need to do that.
2006-12-16 13:39:10 · answer #6 · answered by crimsongal 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
O.K. it's not alright even if they don't meet. It's not enough to divorce her but, nasty enough to throw the computer in the trash. You are supposed to be a leader in the family unit, so LEAD! Take action. That's what love is. It's a verb which describes action. You will probably start to enjoy your marriage more with out this blasted device!
2006-12-16 13:36:59 · answer #7 · answered by delux_version 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is unusual. Single people do that all the time but I have never heard of a married woman cybering and telling her husband. Is it a big deal to you? Do you have an open marrige? Maybe you should whack off with another woman online and see how she feels about it.
2006-12-16 13:27:58 · answer #8 · answered by pastor_fuzz_1 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
What your wife is doing is called adultery. It is wrong and you both need to seek marriage counseling and find out what is causing this. If she doesn't see anything wrong with it then I guess it is up to you to decide if you want to be living in an adulterous marriage where your spouse mocks your marriage vows. Good luck to you. Sexual addictions such as your wife's can be very difficult to overcome.
2006-12-16 14:17:11 · answer #9 · answered by Sally B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You treat this the same way as if this was a real affair.
It's a threat to your marriage and she doesn't seem to care so it's up to you if you want to put up with this.
After 21 years this is very sad but I'm guessing things weren't wonderful before she started this.
2006-12-16 13:31:32 · answer #10 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yeah, she had to take drastic measures to get your attention because you ignore her when she tries to talk to you about her feelings and emotions. because of that, her self esteem was so low she had to resort to anyone, even someone masturbating on the internet that would pay attention to her, even if she had to lead them on to do so. but she was only doing it to get your attention, and she wanted you to "catch" her.
2006-12-16 14:11:07 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋