I'm American and she is from Peru, she came here three years ago
She loves me and I love her,, so you would think that we would at least stay together for a whie but here is the problem
her family which are all illegal immigrants are ignorant towards Americans,, not all but some like her sister in law
this is her best friend, but she will tell my girlfriend bad things about me and the problems with stupid gringos, If I ask my girlfriend to come out with me,,she will have to tell the women, and she will always say,,,what with that stupid,,boring gringo
she and a few others are really trying to manipulate her into breaking up with me,,,,,Im tall and good looking,, so maybey it is becuase they are jealous I don't know,,but they have a lot of influence over her,,and it really bothers me
I brought it uo once to my girlfriend and she said that these are her best frinds and she takes what they say seriously
Is this a problem with a lot of latinas,,manipulation
2006-12-16 13:20:09 · 4 answers · asked by t-time d 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
I afraid becuase last time I brought it up she thought I was being racist
2006-12-16 13:21:05 · update #1
dont click on man he is a virus
2006-12-16 13:22:06 · update #2
she is on a visa,,,she can go back and forth
2006-12-16 13:27:33 · update #3
yes I speak spanish,,geek,,i think you are being stupid
2006-12-16 13:44:34 · update #4
I'll work from the bottom up.
Is it a problem with alot of Latinas? No. That's a generalization. She just doesn't have very knowledgeable friends.
Your girlfriend obviously has close relations to her friends, and so will take what they say seriously. SHE has the final call however. Don't forget that.
And as for the "stupid gringos" part, your friend has just been "conditioned" by her parents and those around her, and maybe some bad Americans she met. It's your job to break down her stereotypes.
Her family are illegial aliens...that's going to be a big problem. I'm Canadian so I'm not familiar with US Immigration policies but I don't think you can marry her without her being a citizen.
Either way, good luck =)
2006-12-16 13:24:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh, what you ask is actually RACIST. Sorry, but you're wanting to paint an entire group of people with a broad and unflattering brush, and that is the basic heart of racism. There is no common "latinas" culture. Heck, there is a wide variation in cultures within Peru itself! It is important to see the difference in those cultures, and you don't seem to see those.
You're "tall and good looking"... so? That's not the concern here, is it? and I don't think that "they are jealous"...
It is obvious that you don't understand her culture. It's obvious that her culture believes that her family is a lot more important than any man she'll marry. If you marry her, you're marrying her family. Most Americans don't experience that. Heck, in Peru, I'm betting that you'd be expected to move in w/ her family!! It is no surprise to me that she's valuing her sister-in-law's opinion.
So, yeah, there is a huge cultural difference here. Until her family believes that you understand and honor that culture (do you even speak her family's language?) they won't be ready to adopt you into their world.
2006-12-16 13:32:14 · answer #2 · answered by geek49203 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your girlfriend is legal and the rest of the family is not, maybe you could secretly get them deported. Only kidding!
I think your girlfriend is going to stay best friends with these women. That's a fact. But I think it is your girlfriend's responsiblity to tell these women to stop bad mouthing you. They may never warm up to you, but at the very least they should not be insulting. Your girlfriend needs to set up the proper boundaries, which include respect. You can help by being polite and respectful to them, even when they are not. If your girlfriend believes what these women are saying and won't take a stand for you, then she is not worth it.
2006-12-16 13:29:26 · answer #3 · answered by Ruth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am a latina lik your girlfriend. I think the reason they are unable to accept you is because in our heritage, lik other ones, it is only right to marry a man of our descent. It seems lik you really like her, you should impress her by aking more of an intreset in her heitage, and tell her that you want her to listen to you before she gets upset, and pour out your heart to her, tell her you love her, and would do anything for her, even face her family. im sure if she really loves you she will be happy with ur effort and not leave you because ur a "gringo" but thats just my opinion...hope i helped...good luck
2006-12-16 13:25:59 · answer #4 · answered by Steph 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋