personality- and sometimes I say mean things when I don't mean to, every now and then I do mean to say mean things... but, most of the time I try my hardest to get along. But, sometimes it seems like just by being in a room, I catch people looking at me and I wonder what the heck their problem is. Some people tell me I'm pretty and it makes people jealous, and it makes them unready for how abrupt I can really be. Am I just destined to make everyone mad at me forever just by existing?
2006-12-16 13:08:34 · 20 answers · asked by answermaker96 2 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
Sorry of any of this sounds harsh, but bear with me. I do not wish to insult you or belittle you. I am just not one to sugar coat things, and I can really understand where you are coming from. Please forgive my bluntness.
Everyone has some social anxiety to some degree or other.
You may have a little more social anxiety than the average person. It may cause you to feel suspicious of others and their opinions of you. You may lash out at people, defensively. You may feel like "I'll get them before they get me" because you fear judgement and rejection.
Convincing yourself that others are jealous won't help you. You need to stop thinking for other people and start sharing your beautiful personality with them. You have so many other redeeming qualities besides your looks, so wise up.
To make your self more extroverted and popular, you have to forget to think for other people. You have to make everything all about other people. Fake it for a while and see how people respond. Give people compliments even if you don't mean it. Ask people about themselves even if you don't care. What you will do is to start realizing that you are making someone's day, every day, and it will start to feel really good.
All people want to be noticed. All people want to be admired and respected. All people secretly want the approval of others. All people want to be important, appreciated, needed, cared about, attractive, and feel sought after.
Some people want some of these things more than others, but that's what we all want. And when you give these things to other people freely and liberally, it will come back to you. Give freely, without conditions or exception (even if they are rude, grumpy, critical, etc-kill them with kindness).
You have to step outside yourself sometimes. You should keep your opinions and judgments to yourself, because you wouldn't want anyone judging you, right?
Not everyone thinks just like you do. Try asking people stuff rather than convincing them to see things from your point of view. Try to show more empathy. Try to see things from someone else's point of view. Accept it, even if you disagree or don't understand. Agree to disagree.
Everyone thinks that they are right and that their view is correct. You should avoid trying to convince others that you are correct.
You just have to quit making everything all about you. What I mean is to not allow yourself to be consumen by your fears, your discomfort, your needs, your opinions, you you you. That covers up all the good things about you that want to come out.
Your abrasiveness is simple displaced anxiety. Make it your goal to make two peoples' day, every day. I promise you will love the good feeling it gives you.
Take care, and hang in there!
2006-12-16 13:33:16 · answer #1 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Everybody is different and communicates in different ways. Much of what you say might not have mean intentions, but it seems some folks are taking it as mean anyhow, is this what you are saying?
It takes a lot of thought to consider all the different interpretations one can make of your words. Myself, having this notion in mind often leaves me speechless. Focus on positive things and don't say something to someone you wouldn't say to a child- some folks are very sensitive. Of course, once you really get to know someone, you can joke around a bit more (a lot more if you're good).
And people will always be looking at you, it's no big deal, that's just what people do!
2006-12-16 13:20:03 · answer #2 · answered by Bugmän 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Are you just trying to joke around with your friends and you feel like you are teasing them? Do you let your friends say things about you that might sound negative, but they are only trying to joke around? Do you get offended?
You need to learn to let your friends make fun of you and then you give it back to them. Who's around when you do a stupid thing that you might not live down? Answer, your friends. Learn to laugh at yourself and if your friends see that then they won't be offended as much as when you say something about them.
When it comes to caring what strangers think about you then you need to just not to care. It's all in your head. They are not staring at you. If anything, they are admiring you. Stare back at them and even say hello. It will give you a good feeling inside.
Just relax, tell a joke and laugh. Life is too short to worry about what everyone thinks about you.
2006-12-16 13:45:28 · answer #3 · answered by public-opinion08 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are still in your teens it comes with your age and you can change the way you feel about making people jealous,because you are soo gorgeous. Try a different attitude about yourself and and change your behaviour and your abruptness with others, you may win lots of friends.You exist for a reason,that only god knows and in time he will let you know while you are here today.
2006-12-16 13:30:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Try to speak in a positive manner instead of saying negative or mean things. People prefer to be around those who talk about nice things rather than a bunch of negative stuff.
2006-12-16 17:21:48 · answer #5 · answered by rivkadacat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you are obnoxious and abrupt, you may think about "toning down" your personality a little bit. Its a lot harder for people to feel comfortable and get to know you if they are scared off immediatley by your brash personality. I'm not saying change and be fake, but perhaps just try to come off more friendly so they know that the brashness is just you and not you being mean to them.
2006-12-16 13:11:53 · answer #6 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You will never please everyone. If you are honest when you say these things and they don't like it then who cares. You know you stayed true to yourself and them as well. People always say "Don't lie to me, give it to me straight" yeah right! They are lying thier a$$es off. They all want to be lied too. Don't change fukem they will get over it. They will always know when they need an honest answer who to go to.
2006-12-18 12:25:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
try to be quiet for a day and say sorry if u say something mean. say ur pretty too. cut off the times u say shut-up and any other words that hurt peoples feelings. my mom will get mad when i say mean things to my brother that is really annoying
2006-12-16 13:12:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
dont worry keep doing what you are doing because if what you are saying is actully true dont wrry about a thing you'll make friends and the ones that you'll make are the ture kind
2006-12-16 19:10:26 · answer #9 · answered by come by...stay far 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup, me too. I have recently run across a saying that I am using to guide my tune up: People will not remember you for what you say or what you do but for how you made them feel. It is a burden but probably the solution.
2006-12-16 13:25:12 · answer #10 · answered by Mere Exposure 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋