Worried about my husband losing interest in our relationship?

Question

I love my husband very much and we have been trough a lot in the last couple of years. We talk everyday and he seems to be caring and thoughtful in our conversations. However my worry is we both have new jobs and we don't get to spend a lot of time together any more he works knights and I work days. I leave for work at 5:30am and he gets home from work at 2:00am I stay up to spend time with him but not soon after he gets home for work he will turn on his lap top and will not say much to me. He takes his lap top with him to work and now has changed his password on all his e-mails we were sharing our passwords since we both pay each other account online from time to time so we check each others e-mail I have not changed mine but he changed his and he thinks it is not a big deal. We have cell phones and when I call him he will not answerer and sometimes will not even call me back to see what I needed but he gets upset when I don’t answer the phone right away when he calls. I am worried and he said he loves me if he was going to leave he would he says I would leave way before he would ever leave me

Answer 1

I would not go as far as saying her is cheating on you, but something is definitely changed. My initial questions would be 1. How long have you been married? 2. What are the challenges you have had in the past? 3. Did the current issue begin with the start of the new job, or could it be something else?

You say he is thoughtful in your conversations, so try bringing up your feelings in relation to the issues you have. Use “I” messages - ex. I feel…..when you…. I would like… Hopefully doing it this way would not make him feel like he is being confronted or blamed. Make sure you don’t harp on him or the problem. I always say that we have the ability to influence our future based on the words we speak. If you accuse him of certain things he may eventually turn to them because is his mind he is already being blamed for doing them anyway.

Sooner or later you will have your answer and will be able to make an informed decision based on the information you have. Please don’t get caught up in everyone claiming he may be cheating. What if he changed his passwords in order to surprise you with something new? Think and be positive and you will make it through this challenge like you’ve made it through the others. Use positive self-talk and model the behaviors you want to see in your spouse. You and only you can determine if the love is still there, and how to make it work. Take care!

Answer 2

This is a big issue and might be hard to really know the issue.
1. Do you complain when you call him? He might not answer if he knows you are only complaining about something.
2. Is your sex life active and good. Men are much less likely to stray if the sexy life is good and active.
3. You still need to find time to do things together, not just cleaning the house and taking care of problems.

These only scratch the surface and are from a man's point of view, you need to really look and see how to connect better.

Answer 3

It's sad but that is how most marriages end up... you guys need to talk... a good old fashion heart to heart and I bet he may not being interested in doing that... I would be concerned to if he has change some of his normal habits, like not answering and returning your calls... You can detailed billing on his cell and see if there are any strange numbers and I get a feeling that you deep down suspect something... I hope things work out and i wish I had more to say... just be persistant on taking time to talk and get reconnected... good luck!!!

Answer 4

hate to break it to you honey, but he's seeing somebody. sure, he may love you - but especially if there is kids involved, it would be a lot cheaper to keep you - then leave you. you asked. take it from another man. if he changed his passwords - that's for a reason sweetness. some people don't want to face up to what's really going on. i think you may know something's going on - but you needed to get opinions on it i guess. flat out ask him if he's seeing someone. he may (or may not) be honest with you. but there's no other reason besides that....for you not to go into his emails again. ask yourself if you deserve that. change your passwords too and see how he acts if you like "tit for tat". then let's see who will be "the pot, calling the kettle black" in this one. good luck to you.

Answer 5

He is probably cheating on you and you should demand that he tell you the truth or let you have his passwords. My husband tried that crap a couple of years ago and thought that I was going to be stupid enough to not figure it out. It's your life girl, get with it and dig deep until you find out what's going on. And don't let him tell you "if you loved me or trusted me you wouldn't be acting like this". That's a total aversion tactic! So find out the truth. Unless of course you like things the way they are and just ignore it.

Answer 6

hey
I'm not married but I would try to make time together this holiday season just you two not any family members or friends just you two. And don't think hes going to leave me think he is mine til death do us part. Don't worry if he say You will leave first then trust him.
I hope it works out

Answer 7

I would try to talk to him about it, and if he doesn't listen, then maybe you're better off finding a new husband that cares about u and will rather spend time with u, for now, atleast try to work things out with ur husband.

Answer 8

It sounds to me like he is cheating...sorry to say it, but out of the blue he changes his passwords? He is hiding something! Make him talk about it to you...if he talks to you about it openly then maybe that will help, if he just tells you you are crazy, then I think you need to move on.

Answer 9

Face the truth, he probably is seeing someone else . And changing jobs just made it better to avoid getting caught by you. In my opinion she has probably already been in you house and possibly even in your bed. Sorry but it may be the truth.

Answer 10

it depends on what kind of intrest u mean. you might slip a nude photo of ursef in his wallet when u get a chance. then when he takes somethin out of it, he'll get a pleasnt suprise. - no offence it thats not what u ment.