I have a friend who called me and said she is having problems getting close to her new stepdaughter and that her new husband isn't including her in the things he does with his daughter. I told her to sit him down and explain to him how she feels about this and that she wants to be included while at the same time trying to spend as much time with the girl doing things she likes( she is 2).
Does anyone have anymore ideas?
2006-12-16 11:27:00 · 11 answers · asked by onehtmoma35 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You were right about the husband has to include the new wife, if she isn't included by him the daughter (despite age) sees that there is a boundary ... she's imitating what he's doing by not accepting her. So that is the first step.
If she is only 2 then it's also a matter of time, she's got to play and smile and just be fun. she's got to find things that the kid likes and do that. sometimes its hard, sometimes we get tied up in keeping "neat" and forget that kids don't do neat. try to balance how much is instruction and how much is for enjoying.
2006-12-16 11:35:15 · answer #1 · answered by Chele 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im a soon to be step mother to a 6 yr old boy. i realized that building a relationship with kids takes a lot of time. you have to build trust and build more conversation between all three of them. group conversations and group outings helps get the child used to another person being around.
also, i think that the father play a big role in trying to implement that the new wife is there for the child and that he talks about her and includes her on a lot of what they might do. if he doesnt, the child will learn that the wife isnt really there and might develop a sense that she doesnt want to be included in on anything.
the new wife should also be respectful in a sense that to a 2 yr old, she's just some adult and she doesnt know. she can try in her own way start playing with the child or making conversation and most important helping the father implement rules and following instructions. she's a part of the adults in the house that make decisions too.
all in all, take your time and she should be herself and learn to build a bond of friends first.
2006-12-16 11:38:05 · answer #2 · answered by bjperez07 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No there is not some thing incorrect with it yet you in many circumstances ought to do not ignore that she has a organic and organic mom and under no circumstances overstep your limitations. this will be confusing for you fantastically considering she you've been raising her considering she replaced into 7 months previous. the mummy is possibly feeling jealous and afraid her daughter will love you extra...why not basically attempt to seek for suggestion from with the mummy and say you at the on the spot are not attempting to replace her. For the sake of the toddler you 2 might want to attempt to artwork this out so the toddler would not experience like she has to make certain actual one of you over the different.
2016-11-30 20:53:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your idea is a great idea. She is a young enough age where she will adapt just fine. She should offer to do things with her by herself too. Things that little 2 year old girls like to do. Color, play dress up, etc.... Once he knows how she feels, he should understand and be able to adapt to the new family life. Have a Merry Christmas.
2006-12-16 11:30:46 · answer #4 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are giving her excellent advice and how fortunate she is to have a friend like you. You may also emphasis that all discipline problems should be referred to her father and she should not do any until she has established a better bond with her stepdaughter.
2006-12-16 11:32:48 · answer #5 · answered by brighterdayscounseling 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They all need to spend time togther. It is easier bc the girl is very young. Now is the time to start a relationship. But she must also give them some time alone. she may want to spend time with the girl alone also.
2006-12-16 11:34:02 · answer #6 · answered by miss lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
easy shes 2. by the time shes 3-5 shell love you.
2006-12-16 11:30:07 · answer #7 · answered by beach_babe971 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats is a good idea... But she should have sorted it out before getting married to this new bloke
2006-12-16 11:30:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think thats a good idea
2006-12-16 11:45:10 · answer #9 · answered by Black Butterfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take her shopping or on a daytrip somewhere that she would like. maybe even to a movie
2006-12-16 11:32:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋