What if your mother passed away and you weren't contacted until after she was buried?

Question

This honestly happened to me last year. My mother hadn't spoken to me in more than two years. I received an envelope in the mail, no return address, and her obituary inside. How would you come to terms with this?

Answer 1

I'm so sorry for your loss. Even though you hadn't spoken to your mother in a while I'm sure her passing still hurts. The wonderful thing about someone passing on is that they are now all knowing. They no longer hold all of the hurts, sadness, and anger inside of themselves. It is released. With death comes an epiphany. They now see you for who you are. A beautiful person who is just trying to get through this life without too many scars. Your mom now loves you in a way she never could have here on earth. People make stupid decisions and whoever sent you the obituary is very cruel but at least you know. And now you also know that your mom loves you as God loves you. Your mom forgives all things as God forgives.
Close your eyes. Picture your mom wrapping her arms around you. Feel her warmth and her love. Don't deny yourself this because whether you believe it or not you are loved and NOBODY can take that away from you!

Answer 2

I am so sorry for your loss! I truly believe that whoever sent you her obituary was very selfish. They seem like they were trying to keep her all to themselves and might have been jealous of what could have been. Why did you and your mother have a falling out? That is a question that you must still answer, especially if you want to find peace. There is really nothing that you can do about the envelope, since you do not know who sent it to you. It was probably a relative, but you will never know. As I said, the only way you can come to terms with this, is to try and understand why you and your mother were at odds. If you can figure out the answer, you may be able to forgive your mother and yourself. This is important, especially to the Great One Above! He knows the answer, now it's your turn! God Bless You and may you find peace in your heart!

Answer 3

I guess I would question first the reason for no contact for 2 years. Maybe the reason for that prompted the mailing vs. contact at the time she passed. A similar thing happened to me... my father passed away when I was just 14 and I didn't find out from family. My mother (they were divorced when I was 2 and he never made much attempt at getting to know me) saw he died on the news that night and told me. If your circumstances are similar, I would say someone was caringly thinking of you and didn't want to stir the pot. If it was a situation where your mother was mad and didn't speak to you, you can still consider the same. Come to terms with your issue with your mom, what anyone did or how they handled her affairs (contacting you) after she passed should not be consequential.

Answer 4

It appears that it was not a mutual decision to stop talking. You did not use "we", so I can only guess that you would have talked if the opportunity presented itself.
Coming to terms with this depends on a lot of internal reflection: How has her passing affected you? If you were hoping amends could be made then rest assured she now knows what's in your heart. If she was wrong in the decision that caused your relationship to end then she knows that as well. I believe that all matters that leave a person with a heavy heart or burdened soul are released when that person is released to Heaven. All the pain and sorrow taken in and given out is replaced with compassion, understanding, and love; all is forgiven.

Answer 5

Boy. This is a hard one.Several questions come into mind. Why hasn't she spoken to you? How did you lose contact with her. How come none of your other relatives contracted you? If there are hard feelings from the past you could start by forgiving her and yourself. Grieving is a long, and complicated process so you will just have to let it run its course. You might try talking to your minister or priest or a counsellor. They are trained to deal with all kinds of things including the death of a loved one. Sorry for your loss.

Answer 6

Sorry for your loss. It's a shame you hadn't spoken in two years but I guess it's too late now. Obviously the people she was close to didn't think it would matter to you. You just need to get over it and move on, there is no point in dwelling on things that you can't change.

Answer 7

think of of this way. Had she died and you weren't notified, could you have suggested, there they circulate back. they did no longer even notify us of our mom's dying. you need to make up your techniques. in case you relatively had your mom out of your blood, it is not significant that somebody suggested as. yet you do, and it relatively is comprehensible. i think what you're particularly asserting is, my mom became on no account there for us and we've been on no account in a position to hash issues out and enable her understand how we felt approximately it. Now you recognize you are able to on no account try this and that's what's certainly bothering you. God Bless you and the terrific to you and your Sister.

Answer 8

Well that happened.Now you know your mother is at the other side,at the heavens with God.Lets the life continuous in your life.Feeling sad or bad for that situation,will not help you in nothing.Your mother is in heaven,and you are here in planet earth.
Move on in your present and future life.That happened to me.My mother died 2 years ago,and I was in another country,far,so far away from her.Life is sometimes too tough with us,but we need to be tough, and stronger enough, to move on in our lives.I am sorry that happened to you too.But remember God,Jesus,and thousands of angels from heaven are right now,taking care of you.God bless you every single day in your life.

Answer 9

It could very well happen to me. I haven't spoken to my mother in over 5 years. If it does I'll probably shrug my shoulders and continue on the same way I always have.

Answer 10

Whoever sent you the obituary was probably judging you on some problem with your mother, which isn't their right. Death is the grudge breaker and anyone who could have contacted you should have.