We have two children 11and 6. I know I love her.She says she want's change. We have recently moved because she wasn't happy.
2006-12-16 10:55:25 · 27 answers · asked by sleepless 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Marriage counseling may help.
2006-12-16 10:57:30 · answer #1 · answered by Kitty? 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
There are only three options. Make her fall back in love with you, she is depressed or divorce her. Every woman, no matter how long she has been your wife, wants to be romanced and made to feel love, cherished and beautiful. Plan a night and take her out. Dinner and dancing or dinner and a movie. Make it as romantic as possible.
Depression is a disease and it has many symptoms. Sleeping too much, moodiness, lack of appetite and disinterest in life. Medicine and counselling will fix this. If this doesn't seem to be your problem then look towards the other two.
Find a great divorce lawyer and file for divorce because to me it sounds like you are doing everything she asks and she still isn't happy.
2006-12-16 21:46:53 · answer #2 · answered by just me 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry that you are going through such a crappy time. Hang in there. Set a time to talk to her when the children will not be around for several hours. Listen to her. No matter what she says, no matter how angry or sad her words may make you feel, listen to her. Do NOT speak. Do not take what she says personally. Ask her what her dreams are? The real ones as well as the imaginary ones. Repeat back to her what she says to you so that she knows you have heard her. Hold her. Let her cry until she can't cry anymore. Listen, Listen, Listen. I speak from experience. Do NOT let divorce be an option. Listen with love and you can not fail.
2006-12-16 19:17:42 · answer #3 · answered by gtahvfaith 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If it helps, she'll regret this later. Unless she's got someone else in the background. I've never come across anyone who says this who hasn't got a boyfriend/girlfriend. She might be trying to prepare you for something final.
If not, have you looked at ways you could make your life more exciting together? Mothering can be boring and hard work. You feel unappreciated and taken for granted.
Have you ever watched that programme "Honey we're killing the kids" and the suggestions they make to bond with the family? Horse riding, cooking etc etc. They all build a bond. It's really interesting how little it takes to make a family pull together.
Being a single mother is really hard work. I know, I was one for seven years. It's hard on your kids too, and your wife is being selfish by not acknowledging this.
I can only suggest you don't be a doormat. Hang on to your self respect, do the best for your kids and I hope for all your sakes, you can turn this around.
2006-12-17 04:29:40 · answer #4 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A person either loves someone or does not love someone. Try having her write down what changes she would like to have in her life. The purpose of this is to get her to think if she is the one who has the problems. She may be the one who has the problems. However, it would be very beneficial for you to find out if you are contributing to any problem so you can change in a later relationship. Finally, I would not spend many years being unhappy with her. It is not good for you or the children or her. Plan carefully ahead yourself for change, get a lawyer and be able to prepare the children. If you do separate, make sure you do not hang on to the past or hold grudges. Life changes and you must go on. Life can get much better.
2006-12-16 19:11:35 · answer #5 · answered by StarGalactica 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Fight for her like the man you are supposed to be. Look to yourself, when she mentioned change I'm sure she didn't mean location. She loved you when she married you so go back and think about what you had between you then that you don't have now. Spice up you lives from every angle and make her feel like the woman she used to be. You have to work at love and the results are much better than ignoring it.
2006-12-16 19:12:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
ask her what made her fall in love woth you in the first place....
leave he love letters around the house...
send her emails or text messages during the day....
take her out for a romantic meal...
show her that you can be romantic...
run her a lovely hot bath with lots of bubbles and candle light...
get the kids to stay out at friends or families houses over night and put rose pettles all over the bed...
basicly dont tell her that you love her show her...... she may just have forgotten why she fell in love with you.
2006-12-20 08:10:53 · answer #7 · answered by jojo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well bud, you don't stay unless you both want it, as for the kids make any separation amicable, so the kids can take the transition easy enough, it isn't the end of the world, life still goes on and you still see your kids, if you don't want custody. Maybe she will change her mind when your no longer there and decide she wants you back, maybe it will stay with separation then divorce either way don't stay in an unhappy relationship for the kids as it only messes things up.
2006-12-16 20:04:56 · answer #8 · answered by gameface_angel 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Don't waste your time on counselling dude - from experience its total BS.
Its tough if she really means it, that sucks. But getting to this stage if she suddenly turns round and says she loves you again (which I don't think she's gonna do) you will then have this doubt in her with you from then on. No amount of talk or persuasion will change her mind. Sorry to be so negative about your situation but the very same thing happened to me many years ago.
Good luck
RTC
2006-12-16 19:53:48 · answer #9 · answered by raythecat 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Counselling right away. Find out WHY she needs change.
Get out of the rut if you are in one. Do the unexpected.
Get a babysitter (G'ma and G'pa) for the week-end Go to a motel
Get the honeymoon suite
Go out on a moonlit walk
snuggle and remember the best days together.
BE spontaneous,
Make love to her, ask her what she likes and WANTS, then do it over and over. Be passionate, patient, IF you still love her and want the marriage to work...................................................Shower together and go out to a wonderful restaurant......Kiss her right there and
If there is..........................................................................................
Music playing---grab her around the waist and head for the dance floor (slow one of course)
Simply ask her what is wrong if this doesn't effect her at all...No response???????
1+1= you figure it out and GOOD LUCK. Let us know what happens PLEASE.
Christian in Pa
2006-12-16 19:29:03 · answer #10 · answered by Penny Mae 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Find out who she's sleeping with, get a good female lawyer, get full custody and ask her for child support and alimony. Talk to her till you are blue in the face, counselling only makes the rich richer and you poorer. Don't give it time, divorce her or trust me , she will be spanking you badly in front of the judge. AND the part about her wanting change, tell her its in your car ashtray, and to go dig for it.
2006-12-16 19:09:50 · answer #11 · answered by brianna0399 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋