advice please?

Question

AdVICE PLEASE?
As far back as I can remember my family has abused me metally and physicaly,Now as an adult they still lack a great deal of respect for me ,they make me sad beyond sad ,Why is it so hard for me to let them go ?
PS: Today is a sad day for me because of them.

Answer 1

TELL THEM TO GET OUT THE HOUSE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND LET US HAVE OUR ROOMS BACK i know how you feel i wish i could do something to help

Answer 2

We all look around us and see what we think is happiness in others, or at least normalcy. Moms and Dads with their kids at the mall, getting ice cream, seeing movies, whatever. And we wonder why our lives weren't like that. But we don't know what goes on behind closed doors--it could be just illusion. We can't let go of our own families because we want them to be what we perceive others to be, and we can't give up hope because we love them no matter what they have done to us, and we know change is possible. You don't have to let them go, you just have to accept that they are always going to be what they always were unless some miracle happens. The best thing you can do is realize that you are a better person because you have love and hope, and you can make your life and that of your own childrens so much better. Good luck.

Answer 3

Good lord...

Usually the things in polls and surveys are silly...

I am sorry for you, and I can understand where you're coming from. My mother and I have a relationship that pains me, and yet, no matter how old I get, I cannot quite move past it. The best advice that I can give you (and please realize that this comes from experience) is therapy, therapy, therapy. I have found that trying to understand your emotions about it/them helps (although still isn't magic) to let it/them go. I have seriously lowered my expectations of my mother since I was younger. I don't expect anything now, which in and of itself is sad, but makes it so that she never lets me down and also allows me to celebrate the moments of our relationship that don't suck. Good luck. Find a therapist to whom you can relate. Try to work on you, because you cannot change them.

I don't pray often, but I will for you.

Answer 4

Unfortunately, many of us are abused as children in some way by family members. And it is very difficult to overcome without some kind of counseling. But when we become adults, we are in control of how we let their abuse affect us. You can forgive them, but still not completely forget what they did. However, if you let what they did affect who you are today, then you are still allowing them to control your life. Maybe you need to talk to someone to get these feelings out of your system, maybe a close friend or pastor or maybe even a therapist. If you are keeping these feelings bottled up inside you, then you will never get over it. I am very sorry for whatever it is they did to you, but please don't let it ruin your life.

Answer 5

You will always have an attachment to your family, no matter what they've done or how they make you feel.
You don't have to let them go, as they are the ones that make you what you are - a strong human being who knows right from wrong. You keep remembering this and you will triumph over it.
Good luck.

Answer 6

It's hard because it's your family. There is always going to be some attatchment to your family. I'm so sorry you are getting abused by them. It helped me to get some other support from some people who loved me. It helped me let my family go.

Answer 7

I think it is hard for you to let go because over the years this behaviour has become an unhealthy habit and you are a little scared of going it alone. You really must try harder to let go for your own sanity, maybe arrange through your doctor to see a councillor. Good luck and don't let it bring you down anymore than it already has!

Answer 8

Its their insecurity, like a bully picking on younger kids ... just know that it is their problem not yours ... you don't have to let go of them just know that everyone has problems and they don't want to face theirs. You however can overcome whatever they say, just know you are better than they could ever hope to be because you won't just let go ... that is unconditional love and that is what makes you better than them.

Answer 9

maybe 'cause ur a family person, loyal to ur family, and love 'em no matter what. Remember, no one has a perfect family. If u think that someone has a perfect family, then ur living in a fancy world.

Answer 10

You can not let them go because they are your family, but I just hope you do not believe the trash they have said to you. You are very special and you need to distance yourself from them even if it will hurt It will feel better in time. Good Luck.

Answer 11

I agree with( eeyoree )and gave her a thumb,s up good answer that,s the way I do my family.