I know our relationship is illegal, but we aren't doing anything serious. Nothing past kissing right now, honestly. We've been dating for about 9 months now. Neither of our mom's know, and her mom is homophobic. We aren't sure whether it's in the best interest for us to break up. We also aren't "together" in school or anything like that. It's hard to explain, but long story short, we would be pretty much publically humilated if anyone knew. Any thoughts? I would appreciate it...
2006-12-16 09:14:30 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Girls SHOULD NOT be dating other GIRLS. yes, break up and get counseling!
2006-12-16 09:16:29 · answer #1 · answered by InTROLLigent 3 · 2⤊ 8⤋
If you like each other enough stay with your girl, roll with life & see where it goes. You've come this far dating each other and if you're gonna break up it should be because you don't want to be together. Keep it quiet for know, the less people that know, the less likely it is that your girl could get in trouble. If you're in the UK then you'll be legal to have sex with your girl on your next b-day. If you're elsewhere then i don't know the rules!?! sorry! but surely no charges could be brought against your girl for dating you? i've been out with girls and boys with a bigger age gap than that. You gotta just do what feels right to you & try not to worry about the negative side of things, just enjoy each other's company, you're young, you seem to be happy with this girl (9 months is a long time in my books) so my answer would be NO, don't break up.
2006-12-16 13:59:17 · answer #2 · answered by lj_likka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all let me congratulate you on finding someone to love and someone who loves you back. Your relationship will probably be a tough one though. You are so young and even though she is considered an adult legally she is to. You to have a lot to figure out. I would personally say that the small age difference between you to doesn't matter. She is still very much a child herself and that is coming from someone only a year older then she is. You two have to figure out how you are going to conduct your relationship in a way that you both feel comfortable with. Are you both going to come out are you only going to come out since her mother is homophobic or are either of you going to come out. The age difference only really matters to you two, does she feel totally comfortable dating someone your age and the same for you. You also have to think about the possibility that if your mother learns of this relationship will she have your girlfriend put in jail if it is illegal in your state for you two to be together. Because you two are so young i would really take things slow and be careful. Think things over and talk with each other about this serious issues. GOOD LUCK!
2006-12-16 09:25:45 · answer #3 · answered by qdeezy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It frankly sucks when you have to hide a relationship... but if the two of you are in love, then I'd suggest toughing it out for now, until you're both 18 and over...
And I see no reason to stop the relationship because of age. I've dated people ten years younger than myself, as well as older. As long as you enjoy each others company, I've never seen an issue.
If you are really that concerned about public humiliation - then break up - but I think its terrible that two people who love one another should be forced to part because of society's idiotic standards...
When you're 18, move to a community that is supportive, like Santa Cruz California...
-dh
2006-12-16 09:21:23 · answer #4 · answered by delicateharmony 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not against the law for you to date each other. It's only against the law for you to do any sexual activities together. As for your parents, I would keep it quiet from them if you knew it would damage your relationship with them or your girlfriend. You aren't in a position to have nothing to lose. There are parents out there who will kick their child out if they find out such a thing. I think you should tell your mother in the future.. When it won't matter if she makes that decision. I also don't think you and your girlfriend should break up because of the possible consequences, if you really care for her, and she you, then you just need to stick it out until you and she can be together openly without trouble.
And don't let the stupid bigots here get you down. There are people who will be accepting of you no matter who you choose to be with. These people can't accept difference, and therefore will live their life in ignorance. I hope this helps, good luck :)
2006-12-16 09:19:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't break up because of an age difference. My parents were 4 years apart. My sister and her previous boyfriend were at least 10 years apart. It was a barely legal relationship that broke up for other reasons. My cousin is about 9 years younger than her husband. They were in your situation for a while, but with a bigger age gap. They met when she was 16 I think. They're happily married with a daughter. Only break up because of age if it's causing serious problems that can't be resolved. Otherwise, don't worry about it.
2006-12-16 17:00:53 · answer #6 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a difficult situation to be in. But really, for both your sakes, you should probably call things off, because they have a way of getting out of hand. You're right, it probably is illegal for you two to have a sexual relationship, and she could go to jail or even have to live with the label of "sex offender" for the rest of her life if this is discovered. (There is evidence that gay men charged with statutory rape often get harsher penalties, though I'm not sure if a similar trend is there for lesbians.) I don't think either of you wants that. I realize this is easier said than done, but you two either put things on hold for three years or find partners your own ages.
2006-12-16 09:26:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
there's nothing illegal about kissing another girl.
don't break it off just because of age..
but don't be in a rush to get any more physical, and don't feel you have to make a life-long committment yet. at 15 you should be enjoying your youth.. enjoy your girlfriend's company and be best friends and continue to date and kiss as long as you are both happy and comfortable with it.. it's great to have someone you love and someone you can be yourself with.
it's sad if you have to keep your relationship a secret from others, but that doesn't mean it isn't worth keeping.
i say stay together as long as you are both happy with each other!
2006-12-16 15:03:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know our relationship is illegal... enough said. Well, not really cuz I like to talk so here goes. You say youre just kissing, but b4 that I am sure you were just talking. That started with just looking at each other from across the room. You are young, dont get into the lifelong habit of fooling yourself with half truths. It will llead to a lifetime of disappointments.
2006-12-16 09:19:40 · answer #9 · answered by act as if 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People arent being very helpful. Unfortunately you are underage and this puts your girlfriend at serious risk. 3 years is not a huge age difference if you are both older than 18 (17 in some states). In fact my girlfriend is eight years older than I am. It would be in your girlfriend's best interest to discontinue your relationship (unfortunately). She could go to jail if your parents decide to press charges. Good luck.
2006-12-16 09:20:37 · answer #10 · answered by Just Jess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Better keep a "get out of jail free" card handy.
The price for this playing around could be very very high for your friend. Like someone said being labeled a sex offender could ruin her for life.
2006-12-16 11:21:05 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋