Am I a glutton for punishment?

Question

I asked this in the family category and didn't get any answers, so I'm asking it here.

My mother told me a long time ago that she basically wished that I was never born. Her exact words to me were, "If I could change it, I wouldn't have had you kids." I have two other siblings. Knowing how she feels about the whole situation, it explains a lot about how she treated us as kids. She was never there for us, her boyfriends were more important to her. When I was a kid, if it hadn't been for my grandmother, I may not have had clothes to wear, and food to eat. I'm now 26 years old, and I can't stop hating her for what she said, but I find myself constantly wanting her approval of me, just like when I was kid, and she brushes me off like I don't matter. It really hurts. What the hell is so wrong with me that I can't grow up, and move on? She's never going to change her mind. And I'm always going to be the reason her life never turned out right.

No, my grandmother is nothing like her. They're complete opposites.

Answer 1

You are not the reason your mothers life has turned out the way it has ... your mother is the one who made the choices ..who slept with someone knowing the potential consequences.. so dont allow yourself to take the blame for that ... alot of mothers tend to say that if they knew what they know now they wouldnt have had children ... but dont really mean it .. if you think that she does mean it then ..dont even let it bother you ..its her loss ... she is the one that will find out what she has lost as the years go on and her children arent there for her .. and will reap the consequences of her selfishness... so you dont take it to heart and show her what a real parent is like ..show her what you can be like without her .. and that you dont need her in your life... and how much she will come to regret what she has ..and hasnt done for you ... you dont need her approval .. just show her what a good person you will be regardless ... and what she will be missing .. unless she starts to change

Answer 2

You are not the reason her life did not turn out the way she wanted she made the choice of having kids you did not ask to be brought in this world. I would confront her with my feelings going in knowing she will not change. You need to tell her how you feel so you can get on with your life. Do not give her another chance to hurt you and you do not need approval from anyone.

Answer 3

There's something very wrong with a person that says that to her kids. Somewhere along the line something must have happened to her to to make her very bitter. Whatever you do don't blame yourself for her failings as a mother. She obviously has a lot of problems. As for you wanting to get her approval that's normal. I was the same way with my Dad. Finally one day I just gave it all t o the Lord and he gave me peace about it. Then I started having compassion for my Dad.

Answer 4

YOU are not the reason for her life's mistakes or problems or anything else. SHE is. Try to remember she is just a person with fears and dreams and hates and everything you have. She will not always be good or right - just like all of us. You'll move along as time passes and you continue to delve deeper into within yourself.

Answer 5

Tough situation you had while growing up but that doesn't have to stop you from living you're life , try to be what your mother never was be there for your friends have a kid or two love them like your mother never loved you ... As for your mother shame on her try to interupt any connections to her let her live her own life like she wanted without kids....FORGET HER....

Answer 6

I wonder if her Mother told her that too..And granny is making up for it now.