My friend is separating from her husband. She's asked for advice - and I am very against divorce (seen it all, and I advocate alternatives to divorce). She told me I was full of great advice, and that she wanted to talk some more, but I'm afraid I will say something she will hold against me or become mad about.
Should I take my chances and let her know what I really think? Marriage is HARD WORK, but no one deserves to be abandoned ...
2006-12-16 08:31:53 · 13 answers · asked by jane 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She is asking you for advice not your opinions.
2006-12-16 08:34:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I too am against divorce. After all there was something there that first sparked her attention in him.
People give up too easily. Then the kids pay too.
I've been married 33 yrs and it only gets better. Raising the kids was the most stressful, but they also gave many many many great memories that I would not trade for anything!
Tell her not to give up. Go to counceling if need be. Do something different together.
Your are right marriage is hard, but it can also be very rewarding. Anything worth having is usually hard.
Besides she chose you to ask your advice. When someone does that, they should be ready for any advice they have asked for. Sounds like she really treasures your friendship so I bellieve you are welcome to say what is on your mind as well.
2006-12-16 08:41:20 · answer #2 · answered by Momwithaheart 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your friend is asking for your advice the door is open for you to honestly tell her what you think. You may preface your advice by saying something like, "As you know- I am very against divorce..."
This lady chose you as a friend so your thoughts and feelings are acceptable to her. She is seeking out your guidance. You might also tell her that the friendship is important to you and that you are afraid of saying something that will make her mad. Finally- in any situation like this what you say is less important than just listening.
2006-12-16 08:40:19 · answer #3 · answered by peggy j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's your friend for god's sake, tell it like it is! Any friend I have that can't tell me what they truly think will not stay a friend of mine. But maybe that's just me.
You can put it like this: "I'm very against divorce because of the things I've seen. My suggestion is get counselling or (Insert what you think here).
End it with, "Look this is a very personal decision and all I can really tell you is what I would do. Whatever you decide to do, I want you to know that I am always your friend and will be there to support you."
How can she hold that against you?
2006-12-16 08:36:13 · answer #4 · answered by markawfg 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Tell her how you feel but sympathize with her.
Say things like "As you know Im against divorce but you seem to be very upset in this situation".
..."Your going through a very emotional period so its best not to make life-changing descisions at this point".......Make her realise that her marriage needs a second chance and make her write down a pros and cons list of getting a divorce (as stupid as it sounds, if there are many "cons" it will make her think again about her descision).
Good Luck!! Hope I helped ^_^
2006-12-16 08:36:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Divorce is NOT abandonment. Sometimes it's the logical way out. IF a marriage can be saved, fine, but sometimes it just can't be and staying together for the wrong reasons is still WRONG. I agree you have to give and take and in ANY relationship, but when it becomes "hard work", forget it.
2006-12-16 08:38:44 · answer #6 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It's a tough situation you are in. Your mind is pretty set on divorce. I would listen to your friend first, assess your friends feelings and then tell her how you feel. If you preach about how divorce is bad, your probably not listening to your friend. EVERYTHING is hard work. Divorce might be the answer for some.
2006-12-16 08:38:19 · answer #7 · answered by JAD 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
yes she needs your advice and to be a friend during this hard time in her life. don't think she will hold it against u at all. she will mostlikely welcome any advice u can give her, as she needs a friend right now.
2006-12-16 08:56:47 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all be polite and hear her out; take it from there as to what you should say next.
2006-12-16 08:35:53 · answer #9 · answered by Laela (Layla) 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just tell her ur words....and let her know wht u feel.if shee says something against just tell her frankly
sorry i just felt like saying it
2006-12-16 08:34:19 · answer #10 · answered by dreamgirl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋