My boyfriend and I have a 2 month old baby. It's so hard to say but I want to separate with him. It's ashame that I want to do this because we have a baby. The reason why is because he's so protective. REALLY protective. And I feel that it's taking my individuality from me. Let me explain...I'm not allowed to talk to any of my friends or even see them..or even make friends! I'm not allowed to go to friendster or myspace. I'm not allowed to run my errands..and if I want to run errands I have to wait for him to wake up or finish what he's doing. I can't even go to the damn gym to work out. I take care of our baby most of the time and when I just want some freetime for myself he won't let me. Pretty much the only thing I can do is just stay home. But he can go play poker, drink with friends, play basketball, use my car, do whatever he wants. I want to separate with him but how? If I try he'd either stop me or hurt me b4 I can get to my door with my baby. what can i do..help
2006-12-16 08:01:03 · 10 answers · asked by Jenna06 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Also, I'm gonna start school soon..he doesnt even want to let me take my own car to school..he wants to drop me and pick me up from school. Tell me would you tolerate this if your boyfriend or husband was doing this to you? What would you do about it? How could I separate from him without getting hurt. I know he would stop me.
2006-12-16 08:07:35 · update #1
Get out when he is not around and then let him know. This is a form of mental abuse called control. He wants total control over you and what you do. Once away from him you can get a protective restraining order against him to help keep him away and will be needed if you need the police. Also call the police if he threatens you or touches you in anyway and the baby too. The courts will award you sole custody but a problem comes up if you try to get child support and visitation rights. But get out now before he actually thinks he owns you and the baby. Good luck and Merry Christmas. Also the police will stand by when you move if you need them and dont tell him where youre going.
2006-12-16 08:21:28 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that! Now pack your sh_t and get the "H" out of there, your boyfriend is a jealous control freak who could hurt you or your baby if you stay there. Jealousy and control are a bad mix, If you are lucky he will grow up after you leave him. You're connected for life with that baby you have together. Go away as far as you can and don't look back. He's a freak! Pretty soon you won't be able to go anywhere and you won't have anyone because that freak is going to lock you up. Is that what you want? Run, run as fast as you can they're are plenty of women support groups out there. Do not contact him once you have left. Fear for your safety and that of your baby. Good luck and may god bless you both.
2006-12-16 08:23:43 · answer #2 · answered by beamer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow.. that is not being protective my dear .. that is called being controlled and that is not a heathy relationship, he is selfish, he wants his cake and eat it too, just simply leave, I would have my parents there when you leave or I will have dome other relatives or the police. It seems he may try to hurt you especially if you are fearing this. I am a single mom and trust me you will be fine. In order for your child to be happy he needs to be raised in a heathy enviorment. YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING .You should only be thinking about your baby.. and you and if he cannot act correctly and simply treat you like a human being.. then there is the door and don't let it hitcha in the *** on the way out!
Good Luck to you!
2006-12-16 08:09:12 · answer #3 · answered by michelle b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a different set of standards for u, than for him. he is a controller, and is insecure. wait till he goes to work, than plan your ex cape. he is only a boyfriend so u won't have to get a divorce. but get out of there, as he will never change, it will make an old lady out of u fast, this is a little more than just being protective. he has a mental problem, he probably had it way before he met u. just plan your escape, and get a protective order against him so he can't come around u. be safe and be smart and plan ahead. he feels threatened by anyone thinks in a paranoid way that anyone he lets in his life will take u away from him. he could get violent and could be capable of harming u or the baby, be especially careful. wait till he goes, he is also using u and it will never stop. can u ask your parents for help, dad's usually are always there to help their kid's i know mine was when i got abused. good luck god bless and think it out than make your ex cape.
2006-12-16 08:12:02 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all you don't want to jump right into leaving him. you need a plan. you need to make sure that you and the baby have a place to go. talk with family or friends and see if anyone will let you stay with them, make sure it is a safe place for you to be, in case he comes looking for you. now when he decides to go out yes he will have your car, that's why you will need the person that is helping you come and get you.let him have the car for now. only take what you and the baby need for a few days. then make your escape.when your in a safe place, contact the police and tell them you want to make a report of a stolen car. explain things to them and tell them that you want to get the rest of your and the babies things. they will escort you there. but make sure you have a way of getting as much as you can, because your only going to have one chance at it, the police are not going to keep escorting you to get a few things here and there. what ever you do don't take the person that your staying with, with you. because then he will no where your at. good luck.
2006-12-16 08:29:17 · answer #5 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're being utterly rational, do not fear. You are like this since you care approximately him, which is not a nasty factor. I might think the equal approach if I used to be you, so do not think love it's out of the usual. Personally, I like ladies like that. If you and him had been in combination for a whilst, you will have to be competent to be sincere with him. Talk to him approximately it, and inform him the way you think.
2016-09-03 17:50:27 · answer #6 · answered by adamek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a very jealous and immature guy and could be dangerous if you overstep his grip on you. If you want out, be very careful and wait your time, even if it takes a year.
But don´t forget, the kid is his, too.
What I would do is sacrifice my freedom for my son/daughter. In other words smile and bare it all for him/her. You never know, one day your bf might dump you... but sacrifice yourself for the baby - you got yourself into this fix so .....
2006-12-16 08:12:13 · answer #7 · answered by gumball 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's not protective - thats controlling. And if there is a chance he will hurt you, its abuse.
call woman's aid. They will help you leave and set up a new life. Once you are seperated from your partner, you can try to set up visitation rights for him to your child.
2006-12-16 08:10:11 · answer #8 · answered by Claire M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may need to go stay at a shelter for a bit. He sounds potentially very dangerous. Get away from him now!
2006-12-16 08:08:19 · answer #9 · answered by Susan M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get an order of protection without him knowing its easy
2006-12-16 08:02:55 · answer #10 · answered by azflyboy6477 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋