in-law problems?

Question

Well let me explain the situation. My husband convinced me to let my bro in-law move in for 6 months, well that was 8 months ago. I dont mind him living with us, but now we are having problems with him going back to his drug use. What he does out of my house is his deal but today my husband found some paraphanalia at my house. I have a 17 month old baby who could have easily got a hold of it. My husband told his mom that I said the bro in-law needs to move out. so his mom comes to my house to get his stuff and it turns out that i am the bad guy. The little bro is very spoiled still and he is 19, and very much a mama's boy. She came to my house telling me that she hopes i never have to go thru this with my son, especially right before Christmas, and tellling me that he has no where to go. I tried to tell her that he did this to himself, but that was pointless. It ended up with me just telling my husband to let him stay. i dont know what to do. i feel like leaving my house. Help!!!

i forgot to mentiion the reason why he is with us. he cant go home because his dad kicked him out and doesnt want to see him or talk to him again.

Answer 1

I would tell him to go to his mothers house, I am sure they have a couch for him to sleep on.

Answer 2

Sounds like the father got tired of enabling him so they decided your husband should take over. Right now what you are doing is endangering your baby, home and everything you guys have worked for so that the bro in law has a safe place to use drugs. You need to get him out of your house like yesterday. No guilt trips allowed. Tell your husband and in-laws that you have to think about your baby first.

If your bro-in-law is to get well people have to stop taking care of him. Let him hit bottom without taking your 17 month old, you, your husband and home along with him. Let us know what happens.

Answer 3

First of all - if he is using drugs or has paraphernalia in your house - that makes you an accessory in the eyes of the law in most states. Have you and your husband thought through what happens if he gets busted while at your house? You are right to be concerned that your child might accidentally ingest something he leaves lying around when he is high and not thinking clearly. If your mother-in-law is so convinced he needs to live with someone - why not her? You have to stand firm for the sake of your child and get him out of the house. If he runs out of people who are enablers, he may get the help he needs.

Answer 4

Huge problem here. If he gets busted anywhere and the police come to your house and find anything associated with him and his drugs, theres a real good chance the police and the courts have a legal right by law to confiscate your house with everything and all surrounding area due to the drugs, until a court date and hopefully you can prove that this was tied to your bil. Wont be easy or cheap either so yes Id throw him out as far as you can and can explain this to your hubby and mil and bil especially with the baby involved. The baby will also be reprimanded to child services until you clear this all up. Not a good scenario leaving him there. Good luck and Merry Christmas

Answer 5

If your mother in law cares so much for her son.Let her ruin her marriage by letting him move back in with her.He is her problem not your.I know this sounds kind of mean.But, I would throw him out right now if I had to get the police to do it for me.Do you know that if someone found out that you let him stay after you found paraphanilia in your home were your child could have gotten it you could lose you kid to social services.Not to mention your kid could have gotten injured.I am not telling you this to upset you I have had the same problem with my twin brother and his drug use.I found drugs on him one time while in the same place has my son and has much has I love my brother I contacted the authorities on him.I love my Brother I am closer to him than any other member of my family but no one puts my baby in harms way.I don't know were you live but were I do last month a 2 year old got ahold of some crack it found . it belonged to her uncle whom was staying with her parents(His parents through him out due to his drug abuse)She mannaged to get the little baggie open an injested the crack.Her parents lost custody of her she suffered damage from the drug and now the parents and uncle are facing criminal charges for her injuries.It is my understanding of the case is that regardless of the criminal charges her parents are never going to get her back.From one mother to anthor I ask you to please don't let that drugie put you baby in danger.Good luck with what ever you descide.

Answer 6

let her take him if she feels so bad, let her get him a place to live since she is the one responsible for his behavior, for never correcting him. stand firm, make him leave, and do not let him come back. guess he needs to get his own place, he could afford it if he stopped buying dope. they are just trying to lay a guilt trip on u, but u nor your hubby is responsible for your brother in law, or his choices, your mother in law is just put out by her son, and as usual won't take it out on the one who screwed up. she is putting her obligation on u, when it is up to her to help her own son, she should not be doing it at the expense of your marriage, next time don't allow anyone to move in your home, no matter what their problem is, cause some people u just can't help, your only obligation is to your kid, what if god forbid had the baby gotten into it, and been hurt, than child protective agencies would have held u responsible.

Answer 7

Make him move out!!! It is YOUR house and YOUR baby! You have to everything you can do to protect it. You should never feel like you have to leave b/c of a guest that is abusing your hospitality. Don't let her guilt you into it. You were right when you said that he did it to himself. If you let him stay you are enabling him also. Sounds like the parents need to take some responsiblity.

Answer 8

You are doing the right thing by protecting YOUR family. Don't let your in-laws get you down. He is putting your child in danger. Your mother-in-law is just trying to cover for him and not see the truth.

Maybe you should sit down with her and tell her that he has a real drug problem and that you don't need it at your house. Ask her if she thinks it's OK that HER grand child is exposed to this kind of stuff.

If she still defends her son with the drug problem, then tell her that you aren't going to put up with it.

Put your foot down. No one needs to treat someone like this.

Answer 9

Stand your ground. You have no reason to feel the way you do. A mother's job is to protect her little one and you are right on track.
A person on drugs is not safe, especially in your home. You have the right to tell him to go. Your husband should have your back too, its his baby too.

Answer 10

You should of never of agreed to let him stay. When your MIL started in about him not having anywhere to go, you should of told her sure he does, take him home with you since you think so much of your "wonderful" son. Tell your husband his brohter has to go and right now. That's your house too and you should never leave it because of a druggie house guests that can't get his act together. Set rules!

Answer 11

No, No, No, you were right to throw him out. You need to think about your baby. If his mother can't face the truth, that is her problem, not yours. What are you going to do if the baby gets hold of some of his drug stuff? What if it is a needle that has already been used and the baby gets stuck?