After being with this individual for six years, I barley came to find out that he goes back and forth between her and I.
2006-12-16 07:53:13 · 19 answers · asked by Diana L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is only one simple answer and you already know it. You must let him go. Staying with him isn't going to make him love her less and you more. He obviously isn't capable of being true to you. Therefore, you can either share him, or let her have him. I say you let her have him and find someone better.
2006-12-16 07:55:35 · answer #1 · answered by Princesa Morenita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not going to listen to sound advice, not at this stage anyway.
He is going to keep doing this to you and you are going to keep giving him chances, over and over again, and hopefully one day you willsay "enough is enough" and drop him like a hot cake, hopefully.
It is like this, I do not know you but I can assure you I care and my advice is sincere. He does not love you girl, not possible. When a man truly loves a woman he would not be going back and forth between her and the ex wife. I am not saying a man is always faithfull to the woman he loves, but your situation is different, this is the ex wife- the woman who either hurt him or could not satisfy him in some way, so you are no competition if he could retreat back to what was not good enough once- then you are not good enough for him- get it?
My advice, drop him now!!!!! You deserve better- someone out there is waiting for you and will be your friend, lover and the man you can feel secure and safe growing old with. It will take a while to get over him, but hey... it is more of a missery to have him around right now, right? Come on girl, take back your key or move out if it is his place and chat to the community during the next few months when feeling depressed and down.
Good luck
2006-12-16 16:04:38 · answer #2 · answered by scouting 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say whether or not you married the guy or you are living together. After six years I"m guessing it's one or the other. Sounds to me like you and he need some counselling (but especially him). He's gotta figure out just what it is he wants and why.
Is his ex giving him reason to be 'going back and forth'? If so, I'd run if I were you. He needs to make up his mind who he wants to be with (Unless you and the ex are comfortable sharing).
Ultimately all you can deal with is your own actions, thoughts, emotions. How does this make you feel? Can you live with a guy who's affections are conflicted like this? If not, give him a choice: counselling or splitting up.
If you can live with it, I think you should at least talk to the ex (if you haven't). Find out where she stands.
Not sure, you don't give us much info but seems to me you might be settling for second best here, and no one should ever do that.
2006-12-16 16:08:20 · answer #3 · answered by markawfg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about what HE wants, decide what YOU want.
Do you always want to be second best in his eyes? If so then continue to stay with him.
If not, then get out.
Put your foot down and tell him you want to separate. If he tries to tell you that he has chosen you, tell him no. Tell him that he should have chosen you the day you got married.
It's going to be hard, but it has to be done, or he is going to continue to put you second.
And you don't need that, especially if there are children involved.
2006-12-16 16:11:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you thinking? Let her HAVE him. Hes obviously a lying dirtbag. Why would you want to continue to have someone like this in your life? You need to work on your self esteem issues hon. I would be livid and want nothing to do with him.
2006-12-16 16:34:59 · answer #5 · answered by chcknbizkit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him and forget about him! He doesn't deserve you!
if he can't let his wife go, then she will always be in the middle of your relationship, even if she doesn't do that by herself. He's not ready to start a new relationship until he can let her go 100%.
2006-12-16 16:20:14 · answer #6 · answered by bogey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say stop investing your time with someone who is unsure with what he wants. You deserve more respect than that. It will hurt, yes, but get out of the relationship with him. Find someone who is more truthful and wanting to give you 100%.
2006-12-16 16:00:04 · answer #7 · answered by cripesokay2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he can't commit to u, than forget it, and move on. no one needs competition in their relationship. no one needs to have someone else in their relationship. six years is along time to invest in someone, and find out this is how it is.
2006-12-16 16:59:59 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUN!!! RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!! Unless you want to be either compared to his ex all the time or have his mind focused on someone else & not on you & your life together.
2006-12-16 15:59:58 · answer #9 · answered by More Lies & More Smoke Screens 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need Yahoo!-ers to spell it out for you? Dump him!!!!!!!! Sometimes your patience may be your weakness. They were once married and that's something you don't have with him, I assume. You are gonna have to deal with that.
2006-12-16 15:56:07 · answer #10 · answered by discombobulated girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋