Did i really do something that hurtful, or is my wife just being sensitive?

Question

When i came home from my military deployment for 2 weeks to see our son born i was showing my wife pictures on my computer when i realized a file of pictures i thought i deleted popped up. The were of the scandal of women in the military mud wrestling, and a few other sexy photos of female soliders. no of which i knew or where there while i was. Just four months earlier my wife had come across and e-mail of mine that i sent a women i was on shift with. I said "talk to you later sweeheart" because she was sweet and everyone babied her. Which made my wife nervos about my faithfulness while over seas. She expressed he dislike in knowing i was around females. but when i arrived home and she saw those pictures she freaked think i took them and i cheated, but i didn't!!! i explained the truth but she won't believe me. She said it made her feel worthless. After all she was 9 months pregnant with my son and felt like a cow.

Then 2 months later she tried to commit suicide because she was so depressed over it, i think she is over reacting cause nothing happen and she should trust me. she can't blame trying to kill herself on depression she got from inventing lies in her head.

oh and my wife was treated after the attempt ion a hospital she has PPD, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and adhd. She kind of lost control after baby 2 she is medicated now and had been for 3 months.... she still hates me. tell me i'm mean. looks like she is right.

Answer 1

ok if those pics meant nothing to you why did you even bother w/ them in the first place? Why did you even load them into your computer? As for the little baby you work w/, she needs to get a life, and you shouldnt even be e-mailing any female, the one you need to have your 100% attention on is your pregnant wife. Not some skanks in mud! Do you think your wife is feeling so hot right now? Here she is pregnant, being faithful to you while your away, makeing a home for you to come home to, and this is what she gets..You may not think of all this as a big deal, but it is. And one more thing that girl you work w/ does she know you are married? If she does she needs to leave you alone, and trust me she has more in her mind then just wanting to be your friend....WAKE UP!!! My husband made me feel beautifull all the time even when i was pregnat, he told me how beautiful and sexy i was..and you need to be doing the same.. What she doesnt look as beautiful now because she is pregnant w/ YOUR baby? If you really loved her you would find her more beautiful now then ever because of the idea that she is a caryying a life in her that you 2 created together and all she is going through to bring that life into the world to make a family..If i were you i would be kissing some major bum!!!

Answer 2

#1 did you bang something out there? #2 Do you love your wife everywhere you go? Is she the highlight of every night when you went out with the guys? and #3 Are you still in love with her after the baby? Now be serious and true boy. Are ya? take your time dude. Now that you have a TRUE answer to these Qs ask the wife this, when you were out fightn the world, was she faithfull with you. ask all the Qs I asked you, after all, the woman argued for equality and got it. It is only fair if she gives you equality in return. If you both feel that this love is goin nowhere, comprimise and find a remedy to heal this love, or do what true hurt folk do, and go your own ways. After all, you can be replaced and she can be replaced, that is human, no, the way of life on this planet. With out love & trust, you have the single life, and young life, a lonely life. I am the Ho master, and you have just been ho'ed up dude.

Answer 3

She is not over reacting. For one, you have to understand, it must have been very difficult for her to be alone & pregnant while you were gone. Your wife was depressed anyway because she had to spend her pregnancy w/out you. For two, gosh darrn right she has every reason to be mad b/c of those pictures & the fact you called someone else sweetheart. Sweetheart is an endurement. She's been emotionally unstable since you left, of course this would hurt her even more. Its obvious she loves you & has taken your marriage vows seriously, cut her some slack, she needs time to heal from you being gone, the pictures & the sweetheart comment. Be nice to her. ask her if theirs anything you can do to help around the house for now. Tell her how much you love her every day. I am sure things will get better. Time heals all wounds. Take care & best of luck to you. Have a Merry Christmas

Answer 4

I think your wife could use your compassion. She was probably worried about you while you were away & probably stressed out about going through her pregnancy without you being with her. I'm sure it was stressful for you being away from her and doing your job where you were deployed.

She might also be suffering from post-par-tum depression. You sound irritated, but can you muster the courage to love her through this? Get some counseling for her and join her if necessary when you return home.

Just reassure her that you love her. Don't expect her to be like your colleagues in the military when they have to "Be a Man About It". She's more delicate an fragile.

Answer 5

Ok, try putting yourself in her shoes, if the situation shes in is actually happening to you. Wouldnt you feel the same thing. Your wife was pregnant and a lot of pregnane women do feel insecure during this stage. You are the one who started it, when you went home you should have been more careful given the fact that you said that you never cheated (Im giving you the benefit of a doubt).

So you really need to do a lot of work with this one, you cant put a blame on her on this.

Answer 6

no she should not blame her suicide attempt on you, because she needs to learn that her life does not revolve around you. now as far as the e-mail and the pictures. put your self in her place. what would you have thought if you would have come home and seen some e-mail to some guy and pictures?? you too would be feeling the same thing that your wife has. maybe not as far as suicide, but feeling as if you could not trust her,and it would be hard to believe her when she tells you that nothing has gone with these men. so, i suggest that you try to be more understanding of her feelings and keep assuring her that you love her.it may take time but im sure she is worth it.

Answer 7

Oooooh, sounds tricky. Whether or not you cheated doesnt really make a difference. If you did,she will never know and if you you did not, you will not ever be able to prove it. She needs to know you love her. Then if she can not move on and accept it,then it is her problem. It may not seem fair, but that is the facts. I wondered about my husband for a year. Then my Aunt broke it down to me.... She said "Whether or not you know the "truth" doesnt matter. Do you want to stay with him or not? and is he trustworthy now? " "Either trust him or leave it alone." Sooooo, I did! I have ADHD and did have low self-esteem at the time. But everyting is great now. If you have been truthful with your wife you can do nothing else but tell her everyday that you love her. Ignore any negative comments and move on. She will too!!

Answer 8

it is b'coz of wrong timing, pregnant women usual have depression, that is a part of hormonal changes, also there is a great chance for post natal depression, she is a new mother, she is going through a tough time to adjust with ur new baby, I had depression till my son was one and a half year old, then it became very serious (I dint have any reason), then we had to go to a psychiatrist. Now I am ok, y don’t u take her to a psychiatrist, they have medicines that can stop her from thinking negatively. Give her time, care and love, show her what she has seen is not true. All the best

Answer 9

You don't sound very sympathetic to her. First of all I would react the same way if I saw those pictures and second of all everything is compounded for her because of your being away and her hormones. Why don't you just try to show her you love her and that you really didn't do anything wrong. Do what it takes to show her you love her and that you didn't know the pictures were there. Why did you even have those pictures in the first place? Your wife isn't overreacting and it sounds fishy to me too.

Answer 10

*scenario* imagine if after you came home from the military and found the same exact kind of pictures of other men. how would you feel? regardless if she cheated or not, you would feel some kind of way. if she kept apologizing and saying she loved you, you probably wouldn't believe her either. if you want it to work, it's going to take some compromise on both of your parts. be a little patient with her, after all, there are other medical issues you need to be sensitive to...