Husband's Suspected Drug Use??

Question

I hate giving out personal info on here but I'm desperate. About a month ago I found a dollar bill that was rolled up in the middle of my kitchen floor. My husband does have a past and history with drugs but I thought that for the last year he had been completely clean. I confronted him and he had all the right answers. I let it go. Then today i found another rolled up bill. I am not stupid and i am not easily fooled, i have been through this with him way too many times. I know all the signs, I'm very aware. But there has been no real questions to his continued sobriety until the dollars were found. Should I be more forceful in my questioning this time. He knows that if he is caught again that i am leaving him and taking the kids and we are done for good. How do I approach this so that it comes across the right way? Serious responses only please, this is my life and the life of my children. Am i reading too much into this?

Answer 1

You may be reading to much into it. I had a problem with the same thing several years ago and on occasion I will still find myself rolling up a bill with one hand it became a habit and I might add a hard one to break. It comes from the subconscious like people that have quit smoking they will substitute something like a pen or pencil just to stick something in their mouth. I'm not saying don't be aware pay attention to other signs especially money and the bills being payed on time.

Answer 2

I am sorry to hear that? I have been dealing with a drug addicted father for my whole life and a drug addicted mother for half of my life. I am now 26 and still live with them, it is so hard seeing my father in this state. everyday he comes home I don't know what to expect. maybe he will be sober maybe he won't. I very seldomly invite anyone over in fear that he may come home high or will be high when I come home. I have to call in advance to let them know and my mother tells me if he is alright or how far gone he is. It is a horrible feeling, my brothers and I still haven't gotten over this our lives are seriously effected. I am the youngest of three. I have spoken to my father numerous times and he responds well at first and then continues on. If you suspect your husband approach him with what you have found and don't come off as his accuser but be his supportive and loving wife. Has he gone to a rehab center or AA. There is no recovery without an outside outlet. Let's not fool our selves. do some research on AA areas near you. Offer to go to a meeting with him when you know you are both available, don't give him too much time to back down. and let him know that you all are going through this it affects the whole family. If he becomes defensive then that is a tell tale sign that he still may be abusing. Besides the dollar have you noticed any changes with his temper or has he been spending a lot of money? research before you assume, accuse or become frustrated. God Bless

Answer 3

I don't think you are reading too much into this because you have to be especially careful about things like this around children. I think you need to sit your husband down and confront him about his suspected drug use on your behalf and find out what's more important to him drugs or his family. You need to tell him if he needs help because he has fallen back into this slump you can stand behind him but if he's gonna continue to act like there's not a problem when you can clearly see that all the signs are there you're not gonna put your kids in that kind of situation. So the choice would be get help or we're done. What's more important?

Answer 4

Have you tried getting him any help? He has to be willing to go, though. Addiction is a disease. That doesn't make him a bad person....just does bad things. If he's a good husband other than that, I would stay and get counseling, both for him and you. You can go local Alanon meetings, which are free, and they are for families learning to cope with an addict. I have been through the same addiction your husband has. It's very hard to quit, especially on your own. But if you really love him, don't turn your back on him. He needs you. But, on the other hand, if he doesn't want help or think there is anything wrong, you may want to leave...but only as a last resort. Please try the counseling first.

Answer 5

I would ask myself, How did I get married to a guy? And how did I get pregnant? And why isn't he sharing with me? I've never heard of screens being used on anything other than weed. If weed is an issue for you then you're probably not suited to wheather a marriage anyways. You may as well do him a favor and pack your bags now.

Answer 6

You may be reading too much in to it. I some times roll up dollar bills as a nervous habit. I would just try asking him again if it seems as though he is hiding something don't wait around pack up the kids and leave. You are probably better off without him and his possible drug addiction.

Answer 7

My mother had the same problem with my dad and they are now seperated. Although if you think about it, if you leave your husband your kids are gonna grow up with out a father figure. But if its for the best, then go fo it. You are their mother, so ignore your drug addicted husband. You have the divine right and responsibility to your children to protect and save them from emotional burden. I suggest you move on. Later on your kids will thank you for it.

Your hubby is old enough to know his responsibilities and what is right. He doesnt have any excuse to be like that. You and your kids deserve better than that.

Answer 8

sweetie the only way that you are going to find and get the happiness that you deserve is to be the woman of your word...leave and take the children with you file for a legal separation,this should "wake his *** up!" you stated that you have gone through this b4 so ,your still there with/for him he knows that you aren't strong enough to leave or you would have done so long ago...drug addicts are good at manipulation and playing mind games...when you do the same **** over and over expecting a different result that is insanity so as long as you continue to HOP[E,PRAY AND DENY whats right in front of you ,he will continue to give you the right answers to pull one over you again...BTW you can't force him to get help, he has to hit rock bottom and if you stay it will cost you your sanity,children maybe even your safety. call a shelter or some family to help you leave, and get some counciling because you,ve been throught this bullshit too long not to be affected by the crazyness, IM me or e-mail me if you need to talk.

Answer 9

Please leave this man TO-Day//

The only approach that will get somekind of response is a cold and solid move on your part. Believe me when I say you are a very important person to your children..

By making the decision to leave has nothing to do with a drunk or an narc. It is your responsibility to act solely for yourself and more important for your kids.


I have been in AA for 34 years and the day came when I had to decide whether to live or DIE.

This fact must be presented to your husband with total boldeness..



Sincerely:


JSG...

Answer 10

If he knows you are serious and I believe you are, of course he will give you all the right anwers. What about his behavior?? Anything different since you have found the dollar bills?? If you have the strong feeling that he is you are more than llikely correct I hope your family's sake he isnt, but look deep into his behavior and .I think you will know for sure. Best of Luck to You