Deadbeat parent's who lie and hold back because they have a major hate complex.?

Question

Men answer in refrence to this as the tables were turned ( you are rasing the children and their mom does not).
This referes to love, visits, promises unkept, and more.
Only that the other parent has visitation rights and is clueless to how they are hurting the children. No matter how you and the children try to tell them.

Please keep it clean. No names, etc...

Prefer, to hear only from parents who have gone through this/ or are. This is a basic problem for many single parent's divorced and those who never married.

I hope this will produce loads wonderful help someone else may need.

Thank you to all who answer's this.

Realise that this is a heated question.

Forgive me, and answer it this question...

What is the best way to approach the parent of your child/childrens dad or mom who, either holds back their love, visits, does not listen to them as well as the monitary support ?
Ther must be a way to keep the door of communication open: no matter what.
We once loved them, and they loved us.

I am going through this in a way with my ex, and he is clueless. I would rather, have him here to share Christmas dinner with us. As much as he and I clash, I will always love the man I fell in love with.
Due to a variety of elements including our health, it was best for our children to go our seperate ways.
I am tired of disking him. I realy want to know also..how to get rid of all that ill/hate that keeps going back and forth.
Thank you to each who have given my question great answers.
Yes, Looking inward is what we all need to do. Just hard when, the ex. seems to not do so.
Thank You.

Answer 1

Emotions get all mixed up when there is a divorce. First there is the personal feeling of guilt...that we could have made such a choice in the first place. Then there is the anger over the others conduct which we know led to the separation. Finally there is the guilt over a)having brought children into the world in the first place and then having to deal with them when b) part of you doesn't want to and c) you feel the other partner really isn't pulling their load. So let's begin with you. Look inside yourself and ask if you are truly honoring yourself and your children. Teach your children to love themselves and to be comfortable with who they are. Keep telling them you love them. Tell them their mother loves them, she just has difficulty showing it. Then try to have a serious talk with your ex. Ask her how she views the kids? What does she want for the kids concerning their future life? Then ask how she feels she can best support their future? If she answers something illogical or absurd, push (very gently) the questions to ask how her goals for the children will really serve the children. She should come up with more traditional hopes and dreams we all have for our kids. Tell her the two of you have similar hopes for the kids and ask for her help in raising the kids to reach those goals. Sure this is difficult but it's worth it for the kids. Go for it and good luck.

Answer 2

Hi, i have been divorced for around 15 yrs.. and have a daughter.. I have tried all the time to help her and I pay my child support and her insurance all these years...
My ex has given me nothing but grief... and still does to this day.. I am lower than whale doo doo ,and now that my daughter has graduated from high school ,, I am all of a sudden not well thought of by her....

So,, I will continue to pay until she is 21 or gets married or moves out of her Moms house... but... I am not a dead beat or a scum bag that people think ...

Hope this helps in some way....

good luck and Merry Christmas....

Answer 3

u are so right not so much as the other parent is a dead beat or bad or anything its bad when its held over ur head to probably even see your baby girl your right give the money to your girl now or you cannow buy her whatever she needs and put it in her name youll pay all your life anyway invest for her we do our kids are grown and we let one of parants have time out good luck merry christmas

Answer 4

All i will say from my very own experience with a brother very equivalent to yours (who I helped to enhance as mom had to artwork whilst dad replaced into just about killed in an twist of fate and restoration replaced right into some years) is that it continues to be no longer adequate to hit all-time low yet i've got discovered that contained on the topic of my brother he had to stay there for a countless years to have the message finally sink in. he's now because of the fact the loss of existence of our father which replaced into 17 yrs in the past (yeah Dad saved rescuing him on a loss of existence mattress promise to our mom) finally staying in a team abode facility the place he gets the intervention he needs to survive course this after 15 yrs of being out and in of county rehab centers and county penal complex. For my sisters and that i we in simple terms could no longer take responsiblity for him and have him turn our international the different way up and endanger us. He now has contacted one among my sisters with no longer something greater desirable than to choose on her nicely and discover out if something individuals are alive. that's the sister he replaced into closes to transforming into up. perhaps he will do nicely now. it incredibly is between the toughest element we had to do the sole element greater complicated replaced into seeing mom and pa pass on. My coronary heart aches for you yet you would be able to desire to grant your brother time incredibly comprehend the implications of his habit and which you're unlikely to be his enabler. Why does this style of sh*t continuously with out fail hit around the vacations? it incredibly is like November and December have this 'sh*t will ensue now' clause. good luck and shop your Roo secure.

Answer 5

life couse us all sort of problems

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