Why don't people realize that children SHOULD have a mother AND a father?

Question

That is the optimal situation. Fact. Men and women are VERY different--despite what some left-wingers maintain--and in a parental relationship, each brings a unique, integral, and absolutely necessary perspective.

Of course, not everyone grows up with a mom and a dad, through various circumstances... death of one or both parents, divorce, etc. It is possible to be a healthy, well-adjusted adult having grown up with one parent, or different relatives, or gay parents, or in a foster home, etc...

But--ideally, having a mother and a father (your OWN!) raise you IS the best way. It is the way of the world, of nature. There is no arguing this.

Heterosexual couples should take precedence in adoption over gay couples... unless they're unfit; a financially well-off, well-adjusted gay couple should take precedence over a straight couple who were abusive or alcoholic, etc... but all things being equal--the straight couple must take priority, as their partnership IS the best, the ideal.

To the woman who said that she wouldn't trust any men with children, even if they were the father... whaaaaaaaaat?
How far have we fallen off track when someone can make a statement like that (presumably with a straight face)?

Are we to assume that most or even all men are sexual predators, then?

And thinking that children should have a mother and father is a quaint, outdated notion is utterly retarded. Just because you may have grown up with an ineffectual or abusive father doesn't mean that most are.
Like I said, being raised by a well meaning, balanced gay couple is better than being raised by abusive or otherwise negligent straight parents... but since it's trendy amongst the coffee-shop liberal set to assume that heterosexuals who are in any way conventional are 'evil' or 'wrong' or 'outdated', I suppose that many here will choose to ignore the truth.

Answer 1

Well said! I agree-- a good mom and a good dad are ideal.
It's too sad that there are so many people who never had a decent dad in their lives.
It's too sad that there are so many kids abused by mom's boyfriend.
And what's with these women who want to be mothers but don't want the kid's dad around? I mean if the guy is such a loser that you can't stand him, why have one of his kids?

Answer 2

Full of either or's. Children DO have a mother and father unless they are tube babies. The fact is more fathers walk away from the responsibility of children because they can and the woman is usually left to raise the child or children on her own. Being married and living in the same house doesn't make a man anymore of a father than one who ran out if he's not there. I know for a fact that a single parent can raise children to be successful, mature, responsible, adults. The ideals of the Leave it to Beaver family unit is outdated to most people. If gay people want to adopt children they should be screened as well as straight people are. Natural fathers can be as abusive as a step father. A foster parent (male) had been raping his foster children for years and nobody knew and nobody told until now. I personally wouldn't trust a man or boy with children in the first place. A mother raising her children in a safe home without a potential sexual predator is better than having a man around who could be a threat, natural father or not, for the sake of having a "mother and father" portrayal.

Answer 3

First of all, it has been proven by many studies that children living with gay parents are no worse off than if the lived with heterosexual ones. And secondly, would you want children living with both a mother and a father if one of them were abusive? Or a drug addict? Sometimes, having both a mother and a father is not in the best interest of the child. Plus, it can be all too easy for even apparently "fit" parents to hide issues from authorities.

Answer 4

Exactly as Paul H said. There are milions of homeless, parentless children in the world and if a gay, qualified couple/person wants to adopt then they procede above any UNqualified couple/person right along next to the qualifying straight couple/person. It is to my experience that living with straight parents is MUCH worse then living with gay ones. I've lived with straight parents and I'm perfectly well adjusted but not without PLENTY of hardships. It's the same with many of my close friends and family. Living with gay parents seems to make the children more accepting of other peoples differences because of who raised them. Of course I was raised in the south so that's just reality down here.

Answer 5

*sigh* Of course, having a mother and a father who are both financially and emotionally capable of supporting a child is ideal. It takes about three seconds of studying psychology to realize this. Sorry to the "gay community(?)," but that's just true. It's ideal. Unfortunately, it very rarely happens. The divorce rate is sky-high, and parents just don't stay at home to take care of Junior nowadays. I know so precious few people who grew up with their natural mother and father in a nuclear famly that I'm surprised to see it when it does happen.

But our adoption system is CRAP in America. There's just too much paperwork and too much expense involved. It's EXTREMELY difficult to adopt a child. And, in the end, ANY parent is better than foster home to foster home.

Realistically speaking, I don't think there are gay couples who are pre-empting straight couples from adopting children. Until we get the system fixed so that parents who are fit and financially capable can get to the MANY, MANY children out there waiting to be adopted, this is a discussion we don't need to have. It's moot.

Answer 6

Yes I do believe that children need a MOTHER and a FATHER. But this world has changed so much....and when I look around and hear about kids, killing kids, racism, gang violence, child abuse etc. etc. It makes me wonder have these changes improved our society. Sex plastered all over the place, kids as well as adults having unnecessary SEX...Kids in pron, Adults watching kids in porn, kids and their violent videos games. And not to mention a two household income is now NECESSARY to raise a child...And really, can anyone stay married anymore? can anyone follow tradition anymore???? are Heterosexual and gay couples capable of staying together with all that that society has shoved in our faces?

If there was a gay couple that really truly had the means to raise a child, meaning providing a loving environment, food on the table etc. And an heterosexual couple was HETEROSEXUAL, yet the father was abusive, the mother was out screwing around every night would you still GIVE PRECEDENCE to the Hetero couple? You see it has NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING STRAIGHT! it has to do with THE PERSONS! There is no picking and choosing, race, sex gender etc. It's all about what the actual PEOPLE are capable of providing a child...because I learned one thing ANY MORON can have a child. BUT IT'S HOW YOU RAISE that CHILD THAT IS IMPORTANT!

Answer 7

There are hundreds of thousands of un-adopted children in the world - an estimated 200,000 in Russia alone. We need every possible parent combination that is qualified that we can get. Better a gay set of parents than no parents at all.

Answer 8

You've hit the nail on the head in your own qu tho, lots of ppl dontgrow up with both a mother and father and turn out great. In lots of family dad is sometimes hardly involved apart frm going out to work. I also have two friends who were abandoned by their mother and have only ever had a dad to raise them and are doing v well!
In psych we learnt its WAY more important to grow up in a loving, happy home where the child knows they are loved and that their welfare is looked out for than anything else to ensure healthy mental and physical development, they need to feel sercure to form healthy attachments as children to have functional lives and relationships of all kinda in later years. Altho this first attachment is usually with the mother, in many cases this doesnt happen, and its not actually a woman per se its ideal with for ppl that make the argumnet a woman is always needed, its the biological mother so you could level an unfair argument at adoptive parents of a man nd a woman being as no good as two ppl of the same sex if you want to cling to tht argument. And adoptive parents are way better than an abusive scary home or one that cant provide a child with love! There is no proven evidence to suggest adoptive parents are uneffectve!

A home that provides a good first attachment be that to a man or woman and in a house where there are stable parents of both sexes or two of the same sex is much more beneficial than growing up in a house where your biological mother or father is unstable, abusive etc....... Altho you could argue both role models are needed there will be teachers etc who can provide the alt role model........ A sercure loving enviro with parents of the same sex is WAY better than a home where theres aman and woman who are abusive, emotionally closed off, authoitarian and harshly strict and scare their children. Seeing a loving relationship between two people of teh same sex is surely also preferable for the childs mental state than seeing mummy n daddy argue, daddy being violent to mummy etc!

Love and responsivity is the real key to the child forming good primary attachments, and good primary attachments are the basis for a healthy child mentally. This can be equally provided by two men or two women if genuinely in love and wishing to raise a child, as it can with a man and a woman. Often two ppl of the same sex have had to fight to adopt a child and so it makes both partners more commited to being hands on raising the chlld, so the child def feels love from two ppl.

You have issues i fear, perhaps trying to cover up not getting enough love from somewhere in your life at an early age! Most educated ppl would disagree with you!

Answer 9

I incredibly think of they do comprehend. except they have in simple terms crawled out from under a rock, there is not any way of no longer understanding that disparaging yet another determine hurts the newborn. I in simple terms think of that the single[s] doing the disparaging does not care that it incredibly is having an on the spot result on the newborn[ren]. i comprehend that maximum courts make you pass by using a "type" related to disparaging different mum and dad previously a custody order is even entered, yet a super type of mum and dad pay no heed to this recommendation, in any respect. it incredibly is incredibly incredibly unhappy. those mum and dad "think of" they're hurting the different determine, whilst, in actuality, they finally end up hurting themselves, and the little ones, because of the fact little ones advance up and see, no longer purely hear what the different determine is asserting/doing, ect. the little ones do advance up and are able to ascertain for themselves the lies, which leads to annoying thoughts against the single that did the disparaging.

Answer 10

Ask the kids who grew up with an abusive parent if they'd rather have had a mom and a dad who beat them, rather than two dads who loved and took care of them...
No, you're arguments may have had more followers in the 1930's but social science has gone a LONG way since then...

Answer 11

Why don't you realize that your "opinions" are not "facts?" Why don't you realize that in "nature," human men would run around impregnating every possible female they could, and leave child raising entirely to the females?

Why don't you look around and notice the millions and millions of successful, well-adjusted, happy people who did NOT have your "ideal" family structure?

And why don't you stop worrying about how anybody else raises their children, and just worry about your own -- raise them so they won't be bigoted, ignorant morons...