Has anyone ever dated a person that hated going out to (i.e vacations or parties)?

Question

If so how did you handle it? I am kinda bored with my boyfriend because he doesn't like to go out alot and he as is always making excuses of why he can't do something. We have been together for 4 years and have never went on a vacation together. He always makes excuses of why he can't go like (i.e. money,scared of flying, vacations are a waste of time). He has never ever went on any vacations with any of his girlfriends. Me i have always travelled with my family at least once a year or maybe twice. He normally says we are wasting money. I would love to go just to vegas with my boyfriend but he is so rigid. His idea of a vacation is going to a local motel and ordering pizza or going to six flags great america. I am planning to go to france next year for my birthday with or with out him.

Answer 1

I used to be that guy! When I met my ex gf I never used to travel anywhere, and she loved to travel. She persuaded me to go on trips with her and it was the best thing that ever happened to me! She opened up a whole new world for me!

Maybe you can do the same for your bf - try and persuade him to go on trips with you (maybe that vacation trip to France that you were talking about) and you'd be suprised - he might end up liking it a lot more than he expected to!

Answer 2

I used to *dread* going out. It was a combination of factors. Because of that, it's probably hard to generalize why he has such a problem with it.

I will say this - coming from another guy, his idea of "vacation" sounds like he enjoys being a bum. He probably thinks there is too much "effort" or "work" involved in "doing stuff".

So, plan a small outing to start - say a weekend to a bed and breakfast. Arrange everything, as much hard work as it might be. Keep him informed all the way. Tell him you'll do it all - he just has to show up with you and the rest is done. Include lots of "slumming" time, but sprinkle in some activities, too. Build up to a full blown deal slowly.

Then, the next time, add a couple more things to do, and leave some time to "improvise" a short outing.

After that, have him start to help plan.

And so on.

Geez man, women p*ss and moan that foreplay is everything, but they can't turn the tables and carry that concept over into other parts of life where *they* have to be the foreplay person. You can take it, can you give it? ;-)

Build slowly, don't just ram a vacation into him, give him time to warm up to it, be gentle, don't go for the big O right away, flirt with the idea, and so on. Get it? *You* like that approach - why shouldn't everyone else?

Answer 3

Good Question! My husband is the same way, and after 15 years he hasn't changed. He just doesn't like places that are filled with people, he is very much the opposite of a "party animal," LOL. What has worked for him, once in a while, is just to ease him into a gathering. Invite people over, slowly, let him see that being around people is not such a big deal. Eventually ad an easy going event, like a bar or something that is not so crowded where there is an activity such as pool or something like that involved. Eventually, with time, he'll be ok with just hanging out, but don't expect him to start wanting to go out and do the same things you do. Remember he is an individual and you are an individual, it is your differences that make you unique and good together. If you both liked the same things, well it would just be boring. Enjoy one another, in time if it's not what you want, than you have choices to make, just never make changing someone to meet your needs one of them. Good luck.

Answer 4

I was engaged to someone like that...well sort of. He did not like to be around people at all and was perfectly happy spending every moment of his day either in his cubicle at work or at home. I'm no social butterfly, but I did need some social stimulation. He and I talked about it for a long time, and we finally came to a mutual agreement to call off the relationship. We are great friends, practically family now, because we didn't blame each other for what happened. It's difficult to be in a situation like you are in, but what you have to ask yourself (what I had to ask myself) is this: Will you be happy in the long run if things stay the way they are? Can you be happy going on vacations by yourself? Will he be happy with you going on vacations by yourself? If the answer to any or those questions is no, then it will be very difficult to be truly happy in that relationship.

Answer 5

I am dating a man now who doesnt like to go out. He works really hard all day and just wants to stay at home. As I said, he works really hard, so I dont mind. He does go on vacations though, we are planning a trip to Las Vegas in April. I say go on your vacations without him. Why make him do something he doesn't want to do

Answer 6

First off let me tell you how sorry I am for you. I know EXACTLY what you are going through. My boyfriend is the exact same way.So I just go out and on vacations without him and that works out well. Of course it would be better if we both could do things together but I decided I'm not going to let my life go to waste rotting at home. If he wants to then thats his perogitive.

Answer 7

My husband is like that. I absolutely love to travel, and he absolutely hates it. We fought for weeks before going to see my mother that lives 6 hours away. I was going to go with or without him, so he decided to go. He made the trip miserable for everyone. I had planned a trip to go to south carolina to watch my baby brother grad from the marines and he pitched a horrible fit, saying I didn't love him if I went by myself and that he wasn't going to help me out if I went. He even threatened to stop paying my car payment if I went! Of course, with him that mad I didn't go even though I wanted to. I would love to go to the beach again, but he said that he never wants to go to the beach although he's never been (he's missing a lot). I wish he was more adventurous. Maybe one day he will be.

Good luck trying to get your boyfriend to go with you. You'd prob end up having more fun without the ol' stick in the mud anyway.

Answer 8

I dated a guy like that for five years.. He always talked about how much things cost and he wanted to save money.. All he wanted to do was spend my money if we ever went out. And if I said anything about me paying he would make me feel bad for it.. Come to find out he was sitting on a butt load of money.. After that I broke up with him.. I actually found someone that likes to go out and likes to do things for me.

Answer 9

good for you . you are going to paris next year for your b-day,some friends just got back from there and they loved it . Yes I had an ex that was that way . we lived near bush gardens and he never want to do anything there . His big night out was to go out for dinner once a month. You know what dump that loser or can you see how your life will be for the next 50 yrs . good luck and god bless and happy holidays.

Answer 10

my husband, he is the loner type. I would go and do things with out him, all the time. I even started taking vacations by myself, went to vegas with my best friend. eventually he came around and we went to Hawaii last year.