Black Women and the other man?

Question

Okay, my grandmother was telling me that behind closed doors white men and non-Blakc men always seem to lust after Black women and seemed to be ashmend to be with him. The only reason why she says this because she was married to a white man before my grandfather while she was in New York in the 50s. All my family members have been openly objected me marrying a non-black man because they claim that they only want sex from a Black woman. But m,y brother went out with at least 2 white girls and non one said anything.Why are there so many double standrads with Black women dating or marrying outside their race?

Answer 1

I have dated interracially for years. I have had long and committed relationships with men who aren't black. In fact my first love was Hispanic. My ex husband was Arab with whom I have beautiful daughter. My most recent boyfriend is 1/2 white and 1/2 Filipino. Race has never been as issue in any or my relationships...granted we may have cultural differences but it's never about race. I can certainly understand your grandmothers beliefs about non-Black men, her beliefs are founded upon an era when black women were often exploited by white men for their own sexual desires. Your family is entitled to their opinions but ultimately you have the final say. F.Y.I. The average man (regardless of race) is always only interested in sex..it's your job to get him interested in getting to know you as a person.

Answer 2

I agree with a lot of what Earth Diva said. And there are a lot of double standards. I'm willing to bet why they said nothing to your brother was because of two things. One, he's a boy. What I mean by that is I know in my family even though I'm the "good one" I get watched more closely because I'm the girl. Two, it's another one of the stereotypes that black men who date light skinned or white women have more status than black men who don't. I Do Not Agree With This Stereotype. But unfortunately I've heard it from a lot of men's mouths, of color or not. So I know the stereotype is out there.

And as to why your family thinks that all men, white or black, are just after lust and sex, what Earth Diva said rings so true. There are so few positive portrayals of black women in the media. Most of the time on tv when you see a black woman if she's not the stereotype of a loud and crass woman she's the dressed like she's supposed to please every man's sex dream. Many men have unrealistic expectations of all women, but I think black women in particular get dealt the worst hand when it comes to this stereotype.

Your family's just worried about you getting hurt. They're expressing it in a way that is totally not helping, but it sounds like that's what they're trying to express. (They sound a bit like my family... lol.)

I'm sorry your family is being so unsupportive, but I hope that you find the love you deserve, and I hope that whoever he is your family will accept him. Stay strong!

Answer 3

Unfortunately sometimes that's the case. In the media for the most part black women are either objectified sexually or we are portrayed as loud boisterous and have terrible attitudes, in other words we can't be normal and feminine. This view is taken by many in America as the norm instead of a "STEREOTYPE" No wonder many black women can't get a fair shake, because people already have their mind made up before we get to know them. My family isn't in my relationships.... I am, but my family has never been an issue they accepted guys of other races, they just want me happy.Oh I date men of all races, but right now I have a white boyfriend and with us it's not just about sex, so that's not always the case with non-black men.

Answer 4

Statically of Black guys who marry handiest 7% train miscegenation and handiest five% are with White ladies. The records are cut back amongst Black ladies. So my factor is that if 93percentof Black guys are marrying Black ladies why might I be worried with the 7% that do not? And as you additionally stated the records are even cut back amongst Black ladies. I'm for the maintenance and advertising of Black love, Black harmony and the Black loved ones. I do not care why White guys don't seem to be marrying Black ladies. Contrary to the sensationalized media The US Census speaks for itself. Also I can say in my opinion I do not know any Black/White interracial couples in my opinion and I recognise many married couples. In reality simply this yr I witness many weddings amongst my peers and loved ones that have been among Black guys and Black ladies. So once more why must I be worried with this sort of small organization of men and women?

Answer 5

your grandmother is right i think a lot of non black men do want us lustfully and sexually however may be ashamed to actually be seen with us. but on the other hand there are MANY men who do genuinely like black women. I am a dark skinned black woman and white men are always wanting me and asking me out. not everyone only want to sleep with us to know what it is like. so live your life for yourself and besides times have change and so has people.

Answer 6

this whole world is founded on double standards.
you can be forced to take behavioral medications but get caught with an ounce of pot and you're in trouble.

but in the end the choice is yours.

don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
however, you need to be prepared for the consequences.

in the mid to late 90's i went out with a black girl. her parents hated me at first. and they threatened to disown her, eventually around 98' we settled the situation. i only had sex with her once. we'd still be together now if i hadn't moved

also, mr X you really suck. ****** racist pig.

Answer 7

Black, white, yellow or orange I don't care who dates who I wish them all happiness. Mr X, I hope to God you're not white, you give the rest of us a bad name

Answer 8

I was married to a "black" woman, and there was really no problem with my family or her's with the marriage. I don't really have a preference when it comes to skin color. To me, that's kind of superficial; like only dating blonds or girls with big ****

Answer 9

Interrracial Dating is ok..there is nothing wrong with that..as long as you love the person or like the person thats all that should matter.

Answer 10

bull SH.IT! ok, so if a white man wants you for sex, EVERY MAN DOES! My point is that if a black men wanted you for sex, does it make it better? NO!!! ask her that! Ask her, if a black man used use for sex, would it make a difference if I white man did? beside, your grandma grew up in different times. double standards, since men makes the rules, they want their cakes and extra side orders to the side.