My poems! Comments please!
Black Rose & Rose.
Losing her soul to the music, hair wildly out of place.
Laughing in a drunken haze.
Giggling when he whispered something, something, into her naive ears.
Sipping the drink of filth greedily, gasping for air, clutching only when the shiny blade pierce.
Finally.
A voice given to her silent fears.
--- --- ---
And another poem.
But beware, it's higly nonsensical :) :
Early Winter.
It's cold out
And my breath fogs the mirror up
All I want is to sleep in
With my favourite pillow made of down.
I don't live on coffee
So why does the anti-caffeine king in you fight me like a dog
All I did was to make some tea
Not for you, but the eccentric orange ball called Cat.
2006-12-16 03:15:05 · 12 answers · asked by xxon_23 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
I like the second one better. Even though you call it nonsensical, it weirdly seems to make more sense (I guess it speaks to me because all I want to do is sleep right now!)
The first 2 lines of the first poem "Losing her soul...haze" sound cliched - all of us at one point or the other wrote something akin to those 2 lines when we were teenagers! The rest of the poem is good.
2006-12-16 03:28:29 · answer #1 · answered by kaus 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Great Job
2006-12-16 03:43:41 · answer #2 · answered by DiamondQueen 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I really like the first one, reminds me of myself for some reason♥
2006-12-16 03:17:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
i appreciate these two poems. good for you for being artistic.
i really enjoyed your first one. that is great stuff there. keep writing cuz you have talent.
2006-12-16 03:22:13 · answer #4 · answered by lrfoster7 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's cold out>>All I want is to sleep in
2006-12-16 03:18:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
hang in there and write from your spirit and heart, liked the second one alot better
2006-12-16 03:20:49 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
those are kool! they are a good way to express feelings and be creative. my favorite one was the first.
~hugs!
2006-12-16 03:40:00 · answer #7 · answered by Kry 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your on your way. OK, ned some work. Keep trying.
2006-12-16 03:17:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You have talent, keep on writing~~~~
2006-12-16 03:32:38 · answer #9 · answered by P-Nut 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Both are good .... keep on writing !
2006-12-16 03:19:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋