Clueless on how to deal with the pain of an abortion.?

Question

OK here it is exactly 1 year ago my ex and i had an abortion. She knew that i didnt want to have the abortion and own up t what has happened. And yea i wanted to marry her. But she decided to do it any. Her reason later for doing it was that she was almost molested and didnt want that to happen to her child. (personally i feel that, that was a selfish reason). But now i have one with someone else that she is due any day now. The thing is i am finding it really hard to have the same love for this child like i did for the other child. And the emotional strain of what happens becomes more evident the closer to delevery that we get to. I talked to her and she said that she would keep the child of her boyfreind if she got pregnant. But she barely knows him compared to me when we were together all 4 years of college. And i dont want her to get rid of it if she does. I just want to be there for my child but i feel as if this situation is holding me back. i want to be there for my child & cant

Answer 1

I understand your loss, your dreams of a child that you never knew, it is heartbreaking.
I wish that fathers had just the same rights of women of when it comes to a life of a child.
365 millions dollars of our own taxs dollars are going to planned parenthood, just for abortions, and there are other ways to use those tax dollars of murdering and torturing little tiny babies who really feels pain of their death, and they did no wrong to be executed as crimials!
Now back to you, I would not give this woman another chance in your life, she did not think you were worthy enough to have your child to come to life, and she was very selffish about the fact.
As for you, if you know Christ, and born again, I do know you will see your baby and know your baby when you first see them in heaven, and YOu will get to hold that precious baby again!
My baby died at 22 weeks gestations, and yes even selffish women kill and murdered their babies at the level, and my baby lived 17 days, he can feel pain, movements inside of me and outside of me.
Did you know that planned parenthood lies about the fact that the fetus(babY) does not feel pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But they do, they even feel the father's hand on the woman's body of the caress, and they hear all the music, voices, and even tone in to the fathers.
If one day, when fathers all fathers win the right to be the voice of all of their children and including the unborned,we would not have so much murders on the littles tiniest babies here in America.
I commend on you on how you feel about your baby and the loss of your child, and I wish, that you can be comforted and know that your baby has the best daddy and mommy in the world, and that is JEsus!
the Jesus rocking chair song is so special to me. The Greens; sang the song.
One day your exgirlfriend, will face God of murdering her own child, and pay the conquences, and let God do all the venges!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

your ex made the decision, not u, u had no control over it. so u need to forgive yourself, forgive the woman and ask the lord to forgive. forget your ex because it is in the past, u are hurt that she aborted your child, but is willing to keep the next child by someone she just met. understandable that u hurt. but this new child u are having will bring u joy, and u will love it alot. u are still hurt that your ex aborted your child, just like thowing her love for u away really, saying that your feelings didn't matter. u will be there for this child, u can and will. wait till u see it, and hold it for the first time, all your hurts will start to diminish. think u still have feeling's for the other girl and that is what may be holding u back, because u invested so much love into that relationship, and when she did what she did it destroyed your trust in mankind. can't hold on to the pain, as it has creeped into this relationship. your child needs a clear thinking sensible dad, who loves them. can't live in the past.the past can only hurt u if u allow it, so forgive her, and u, as u really had no say in the matter, u could not have stopped it now could u have? god bless

Answer 3

I think the who pregnancy thing is probably bringing back memories of what happened. The thing is...you will love this child, especially once it is born and you are holding it in your arms. Maybe not the same way, but differently and just as much. Try to think of it as people who have a second child. they dont love that child any less, do they? Good luck, but i'm sure everything will turn out fine.

Answer 4

So, you're not there for a child who does exist because of one that doesn't? You need to spend your time and energy on the woman who is carrying your child rather that someone who quite clearly - for whatever reason - didn't want to. Live in the NOW. You can't change the past - so why keep dwelling on it? Move On!!

Answer 5

Stop beating yourself up over something that someone else did and stop referring to it as "My ex and I had an abortion." When it came right down to it, your ex had choices to make and did what she wanted. You are not responsible for her actions. Even though a life was taken, another life is about to enter the world. Lavish this baby with all the love you have, let this baby know he/she is wanted very much and that you will always be there for her/him. Don't punish this baby about to be born for something that someone else did.

Answer 6

It is natural to think of your lost baby. I had a missed miscarriage between my 1st and 2nd child and I always think of that baby that I never got to meet. Especially when I got pregnant with my 2nd and had her I still couldn't help wondering about the baby I never had.

The only thing you can do is not forget your baby but enjoy what is happening right now. Enjoy your new baby when she/he arrives and be happy and count your blessings. Keep your other baby in your heart and your new baby also in your heart but who is very real in your arms.

Congrats and good luck with the new baby. Merry Christmas!

Answer 7

Whatever you've been through just put that in the past, it will still continue to remember you about it. But you have to consider the fact that theres somebody else who needs your attention now, I lost my baby and was only 21 days old but after a year I gave birth to a girl. Life must go on....

Answer 8

i'm so sorry on your loss. attempt slightly counseling; it relatively is going to help. men go through immensely from abortion. My husband's exwife aborted one in each and every of their babies and he nonetheless bargains with unhappiness (this became over 20 years in the past) and that i became compelled into an abortion 30 years in the past and nonetheless have some discomfort. it relatively is lots extra useful than it became in the commencing up and it did no longer shop me from loving my babies. as a rely of fact, i will take excitement in them extra by using fact of it. I nonetheless miss the single I on no account have been given to understand. i'm specific you would be accessible on your newborn and could love and cherish him/her with all your coronary heart.